Student Midwife - Cant make my mind up! (Help!)

[nickle730]

I agree with the PP, a student midwife may not be your best advocate. Are your mum or DH capable of speaking up on your behalf?

I had a similar experience to yours with my first delivery, in that I had forceps and an episiotomy and a student in the delivery suite. I had met the student at my ob's rooms the week before and had taken an immediate dislike to her. She was a med student doing an obstetric's placement she had no interest in. She told me that obstetric's were 'gross' and that she couldn't wait for it to be over. When she turned up in the delivery suite I insisted, long and loudly, that I did not want her present and was told by the MW's that I would have to clear that with my OB. Excuse me??? It's my baby, my vagina, my birth. Anyway, by the time my ob arrived my DD was in distress and needed a forceps delivery. I felt pushed into having the student in the room and was very angry with my mum in particular for not standing up as my advocate and insisting she be removed. My DH was so overwhelmed by the whole experience I reckon I was lucky he was still standing on his own two feet, let alone advocating for me - that is why I asked my mum to be present. It has caused some problems over the years between my mother and I, particularly during my subsequent pg's and births. Anyway, my point is, perhaps I would have been better with an independent MW/doula, but I felt my mum should be able to advocate for me (which she did during my last delivery!) and, like you, I didn't want any more people in the room.

I'm not sure what's right for you, but perhaps you could sit down with your DH and your mum and make very clear what you need from them and what you want (and don't want) during your labour and delivery. I also felt far less overwhelmed myself second and third time around and was better able to advocate for myself.

For what it's worth, after my first delivery (episiotomy, failed ventouse and forceps) I pushed my other two out with no assistance (except pain relief!). I didn't realise, after my first delivery, that birth could be so easy!!

ETA - She left the room to vomit?? Twice? Gee, that must have made you feel really good about yourself! I know she needs to learn somehow, but not at the cost of your comfort and dignity. I think she should not have been allowed back in the room and she could have tried with another delivery when she had pulled herself together.