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Just because other peoples experience is worse doesn't mean there isn't something to grieve for you about yours. Maybe you could find a birth debrief group near you? There are some about. I know of a few, if you let me know where you live (PM) then I could possibly put you in contact. Anyway I hope everything works out for you whatever you choose
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SiarasMummy I know this isn't your question exactly, but one thing that did make a HUGE difference between my first and second birth was a calm birth course. I had forceps, episiotomy etc first time round and felt out of control and very frightened. I did the course before my second birth with my DH and ended up having the most beautiful birth where I totally felt in control. I honestly didn't feel that I needed any third party as I was so confident in what I was doing. I realise alot of what happened to you was out of your control and for me this was one way to ensure I had control back. Interestingly the midwife that was present at my first birth also admitted me for my second and upon reading my birth preferences made it clear to me that she didn't think I could do it without drugs as I intended (which is what I really wanted to do). I am about to give birth again and am hoping to have my cousin who is a trainee midwife there (she has also given birth 4 times) but not really because I think she will change the outcome of the birth - I just think it would be special to have her there. I am not in any way trying to sway you for or against having a trainee midwife, I just thought I would share what worked for me after a fairly traumatic first birth.
On another topic.....I can't believe your midwife vomitted during the labour - what on earth was she vomitting about??????
I wish all the best for a positive and lovely birth experience.
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