4 month old at wedding reception

[helle]

Usually it's the other way around! No babies/kids at the ceremony in case the make a racket... In saying that though, I have been to weddings with kids, and had kids at my own (albient ranging from 1 to about 14) and they generally get the idea that it's a big occassion and keep quiet.

I would definately go straight to the source! If the bride/groom says yes it's true then just let them know there and then you'll only be attending the ceremony...

[Eenee]

I had heaps of kids and babies at my wedding and it didn't phase me in the slightest, actually at the ceremony my not even 2yr old nephew was going nanannana bat man LOL it was so cute made me laugh. And all the babies and kids were great at the reception. I think some people take the whole getting married thing a bit far and have to have this sterile unatural environment, but thats just my opinion. I wanted a realxed environment not one where people were to afraid to even talk. Oh and I think when you have kids at a reception everyone else seems to be more well behaved. Our reception venue actually told us we were the most well behaved group they've ever had.

[LionsandBears]

It's different for everyone. The main thing is to not make assumptions either way. I'd talk to the bride. If they're adamant that there be no babies, then I'd not go, unless you have a family member who can look after bub. They should be able to accept that.

Whilst planning our wedding, I took into account there would be small children. We had a flower girl and page boy (brother's kids, 4 & 8) and teenagers. 2 friends would only be able to come (from interstate) if they brought their small children. Only 1 could make it, so we had an 18 month there. I just asked the parents to take him out during the ceremony if he started crying. The poor lamb was tired from flying down the morning of the wedding, but he was very good. We also provided bags with toys/colouring books for the younger kids to play with. We thought about hiring a babysitter, but then found we wouldn't need to - the parents were happy to look after them. The venue even had a highchair for the toddler and his meal was free. We didn't invite older children of friends, just family. We didn't have the room.

Whilst many bride's try to accommodate their guests, it is their day (& the groom's ), so their rules. As a bride, you can't please everyone and the whole thing is very stressful. It's up to you what you choose to do, but if they don't want kids on their day, then work around that to what suits you the best. And try not to take it to heart.

[Nai]

Generally if a baby is BF then I wouldn't expect the parents to leave them.

DD1 came to a wedding with us at 3 months and she slept in her pram the entire time - hardly anyone even knew she was there. It was interstate and we also had no babysitters available so there was no option.

We went to wedding recently where DD2 was invited but not DD1 which was fine with us. However, there was accommodation on site and the babies had someone looking after them who got us if they cried while we were able to enjoy the reception.

I would explain to the bride that you won't be able to attend if you can't bringthe baby. If the bride doesn't have children she may not be aware of why this would even be a problem.

[MummyTummy]

For our wedding we had no children.... but that did not include the 2 BF babies that were under 6 months. I was happy for them to be there and both their mothers spoke to me to explain the situation. Most of the time you wouldn't have even known they were there. It is different to a squirmy mobile 2 year old.

I also had to take my DS to a wedding when he was just a month old. Just something I had to do - he was exclusively BF so he had to come. I spoke to the bride and she was fine. There were 2 other babies at the ceremony, one 4 weeks older and 1 a week younger and both were palmed off for the night. The mother with the 2 month old had to express a couple of times during the night which made her miss out on some of the party and the parents with the 3 week old had dinner and left. They didn't even consider that their babies could just sleep in the pram in the corner.

So I think you should talk to the bride or your cousin and just explain that your baby is not going to need food, or a seat at the table and he isn't at the age where he will run around interrupting everyone having a good time. If they don't accept it as a reasonable request then I would consider not going. It isn't fair of them to expect you to leave DS with a stranger for babysitting and it isn't fair to expect you to travel all that way to not go to the reception because they don't want your child there. But it is their day, and if they really don't want your DS there, then I guess you have to respect their wishes.

[LimeSlice]

We had this issue after flying to NZ in Uagust for my BILs wedding....it was a PITA

We ended up getting a hotel room (it was at a hotel) and we and the family took turns babysitting the 2 girls upstairs in shifts after teh reception.
Worked out well, but it was a pain and quite frankly, had we known the children werent welcome before we spent $4000 flying to another freaking country I and Charlotte would not have gone in the first place... *grumble*

Anyway, I would speak with the bride directly and work out where to go form there.
If bubs isnt welcome, then perhaps both of you stay home

[CoNNiE_Melb]

I should have mentioned, that the initial reason for not having children, was that our reception didnt allow children... possibly because it was right next to a lake and could be dangerous. If you say no to 1 person having their child, you have to say no to all otherwise people start getting offended.

[MummyTummy]

If you say no to 1 person having their child, you have to say no to all otherwise people start getting offended.

See this is where I slightly disagree. I agree about children as opposed to babies under 6 months where milk is their only source of nutrition. If they are under 6 months and not on any solids and especially if they are BF (relying on Mum). If they are able to be fed in another way, then sure, asking them not to come is a reasonable request.

I know Ruth is doing both BF and bottle feeding, but this is due to supply issues, not for convenience. And of course the best way to get your supply up and keep it up is BF, BF, BF.

I just want to add that this isn't an attack on you Connie, you do make a valid point.

[CoNNiE_Melb]

Hehe absolutely, I dont take it as an attack! Everyone has their own opinions and is different...

I guess the reason I was most frustrated is because the week before the wedding, they were happy to leave the baby with someone else to go to the footy grand final all day, but they weren't willing to do it for our wedding...

I also know for a fact that she was not BFing.

[Doing my best]

Personally I wouldn't have an issue being asked not to take my child no matter what age if there known and trusted babysitters on hand e.g grandparents/aunt/uncle.

But travelling interstate or overseas it is different. There is no way I would trust someone else to find a babysitter for my kids, so asking someone to travel that far and not include the kids is a bit rough. If it is a case of not being allowed due to venue, then I am sure people would be respectful of this, but I would want to know that is the reason, and I am sure the bride/groom would also respect my decision not to go.

But also as someone else already mentioned, it is possible the bride isn't aware of the full needs of a child if she doesn't have any. I know my perspective changed when I couldn't give the baby back ..

[Bloom]

Thanks for your input everyone. I spoke with the groom and he said that there was a blanket rule no children at all allowed. I said that DS is very quiet and wouldn't create a disturbance but he needed to be with his mum. He said that he's asked his sister not to bring her children (not sure of their ages or if they have local sitters) so I therefore can't bring my DS. The groom offered to find a baby sitter for DS - and I was like NO WAY! He didn't seem to understand that I wasn't happy to leave a 4 month old with someone I'd never met before...

So it was a choice between DS AND me or neither, and they chose neither. It's their wedding so ultimately it's up to them, but it's not a decision I would have made... Still, at least I won't have to sit through the speeches! LOL.