How much did you or will you spend on your wedding?
When my DH and I were married almost 8 years ago we were looking forward to being married but not the actual wedding/reception. What started out as a simple, fuss free plans for a wedding turned into arguments, disagreements(not between DH and I, but amongst our families) and unnecessary stress. So to save heartache and relationships and nontheless money, we found a celebrant and asked 2 very close friends to witness and we were married. It was perfect. Later in the month we held a party and invited 40 friends and families to our home and had an absolute ball. All in all including the party catering and the celebrant we spent less than $1500. I didnt have a wedding dress, just a new outfit. We didnt go on a honeymoon, we had a 4 week old baby.
The reason I started this thread is my sister is planning on getting married and wants the fairytale wedding with all the bells and whistles. My argument to her is money can be better spent on things such as a deposit on a house or more practical things(seems like commonsense to me)She wants to spend huge amounts of money on a magical day that in years to come all she will have is photos( and expensive ones at that!) to show for it. I really dont think your marriage is going to be better or last longer just because you have a fancy wedding. Sometimes I think more time and effort is put into organising the ceremony than the actual relationship itself. Dont get me wrong, I would never judge her on what she chooses cause its her life and her money but am curious as to what everyone else has experienced.
Sorry about the long post, a hard one to write in a couple of sentences.
We waited to get married until after Charlie was born.......we had been together about 8 years before we even got engaged.
We dithered over whether to go the whole hog, or just to elope and have a very very simple affair, as, like you, we were more looking forward to being married than "a big day".
That said, we had been living interstate for a few years, so had missed a lot of family in that time. And I am one of 5 siblings and none of my brothers or sisters have had a family wedding, so I kind of wanted to do the big day for my Mum's sake if nothing else.
Plus, and call me vain, but I wanted to show Olivia and Charlie off to all my family from the UK!
So, to my surprise, we ended up having "the big day".........
It was still a simple affair, but it was "us", and it was a brilliant day. My consistant memory of it is my daughter Olivia taking her first steps up the aisle! I melted into tears!
Our marriage is strong regardless of the $$ we spent. We were both very aware that it takes an awful lot more than an expensive day to create a loving and lasting relationship.
But no regrets from me........we spent a lot, but we had made a lot of $$ previously through some property, so we had the money at our disposal, so we didn't have other financial areas to spend our $$ on, so we were very lucky in that respect.......
I have babbled. I can see it from both sides, I really can.............
DH & I had all the bells & whistles. I think it depends on what sort of people you are. We love entertaining, and having everyone with us, so it suited us to have a big wedding. When we started planning our wedding, it didn't even occur to us to have a small wedding, we both just wanted a big one.
All up, our wedding cost $15k & our honeymoon was $5k. We haven't regretted a thing. We look back on our wedding dvd & photos, and although that's all that remains, we'd do it all over again in a flash (with each other though!!).
When we got married, we'd been together for 10 years, so the wedding wasn't about the 'wedding' it was more just a celebration of our relationship. We just wanted a BIG PARTY.
(The only reason we actaully got married was beause I was terribly clucky, and DH didn't want to have children out of wedlock How terribly traditional of him after living with me for 7 years!!!!!)
We made sure that our wedding was a huge party, but it was a bloody expensive party too. Is was casual, but quite elegant still, and not a traditional 'princess' wedding. We had a FANTASTIC day, and I wouldn't change a thing!Our guests still tell us what a good time they had all these years later.
I'm pretty sure that it came to about $20-22K in total.
Just for the record, I would have been happy with me and him and a couple of witnesses in the park, but this was an awesome day! I'm glad that we did it.
Just to make this post longer (sorry) friends recently decided to forego the whole wedding and just take their honeymoon in Europe as a romantic holiday, and got married while they were over there with a couple of locals witnessing it. I LOVE THAT IDEA. And it's what worked for them. Their families respected thier decision.
I think what it comes down to is that we all have ideas as to what the 'perfect' wedding consists of. Your sister will do whatever she wants. It's her day, and her money, and she's the one who has to live with the decision. Do you really want her to take your advice and not have the day that she wants, and then regret it for the rest of her life?
You may not agree with her decision, but try to respect it.
Our wedding came in under $10,000, that included travel to Tassie for the wedding and a small honeymoon.
Would I change it? No. It was a great day, I had a beautiful dress (that I can re-wear), our friends and family had a wonderful time. In fact it is still talked about. I know in my heart that I would have regretted not having a wedding with friends and family around. A wedding is certainly a great excuse to get people together and much more joyful than a funeral, which seems to be the only other time people with make the effort.
I know it upset me when some friends were harping on and on about elopement and how great it is. They were bluntly told that if they really hated weddings, then they were uninvited, well they changed their tune very quickly and of course attended. One went on to have her own reasonable sized wedding and the otherhas been delayed due to pregnancy.
So overall it is their choice, just so long as they not spending someone else's money that can't afford it. It would be a boring world if we all had the same type of wedding. The only weddings I don't like are the ones that don't suit the person or they don't work within their actual budget (trying to have too big a wedding on too small a budget, hard to pull off).
My wedding wa about $5 - 6000 and I had everything I wanted. I had the princess dress and the horse drawn carriage. We just saved money on other areas, like doing our own invitations and having the wedding earlier in the day. It was a relaxed wedding and everyone had a great time. I have nothing but good memories of the day and the lead up.
For us it was a big deal because we had just bought a house and we had never lived together (very traditional, I know ) I would have no problem doing it all again
We have been together for 20 years in Nov this year....WOW I just realized that....first girlfriend/boyfriend for us both....We got married in Nov 1996 nearly to the day we met actually - not planned that way....I would say we are soul mates - even though we have had heaps of ups and downs
We got married for US, DH's family was a bit disappointed not to have a white wedding but they accepted what WE wanted.
Ultimately as others have said it is entirely a personal decision. Plus we didn't want the stress!!
We didn't want to go thru the spending spree and went to a registry office, spent all up $1000 on dinner for immediate family and the license costs etc....we had a bbq the next day with our friends and was still hung over the next day - they thought we would never do it. The only thing we never did was have a honeymoon.....but together for so long - no difference for us....one day maybe.....
It didn't seem to make sense to us to use all that money for one day. I sometimes wish that we did things a little different - maybe a simple garden wedding, but am glad that we had money in account afterwards.....
And we are still mostly happily married and I am keen to TTC...
BellyBelly Life Member - Love all your MCN friends
Jun 2004
The Festival State
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i think it depends on what resources you have to pay for the wedding with (including family support, if you have family).
i think if people already have the house, already have money in the bank to draw on, good luck to them how they spend it.
but if a couple takes out a big loan out to pay for that perfect day, that to me would be scarey. But then i'm the only person i know who doesn't have a credit card. I refuse to have one until i have the capacity to pay for it.
We wanted to pay for the entire wedding ourselves so we tried to save money wherever we could. I got a white bridesmaid dress instead of a wedding dress so it only cost me $300 (canadian). Then a friend of mine who is a graphic designer made me fantastic invitations as her wedding gift, another friend took the pictures, another friend offered to D.J., we went minimal on flowers I think we spent $80 on flowers for me and my bridesmaids and that's it, I made candles for all the tables, the girls dresses cost me $20each in fabric and each girl made their own dress or had someone in their family make it, my Dh's parents made us all our wine (it was fantastic) and then we bought some beer and just had wine and beer at the wedding. The only real cost was booking the place we wanted to get married at (Heritage Village) and the catering (which was amazing). I think in total our wedding was $8000 (canadian) which is about $8700 Australian. It was soooooo worth it.
we had a big wedding but i drew the line at 120 people!
Our wedding was big and white and people thought I spent a lot more than I actually did.
I spent a year planning every detail and got the best bargains imaginable. We spent around $10k including everything from underwear, the reception, dresses etc!
My first wedding cost about $1500- $2000 all up. We only had 20 odd guests but had the fancy reception place (a small one in the hills that did small weddings). We were able to buy the alcohol ourselves & take it up the day before & they just served it for us. We had a celebrant at the reception place and were married in the garden.
We had magnificent flowers but they were done by friend of the family who did floristry as a hobby so that didn't cost much. We didn't have a photographer - we had a family member take a video & another one to take the photos. Both turned out well. With digital cameras these days, having a friend do the photos would even be easier.
My dress cost $300 and was definately a "fairytale" dress but it was second hand. We were lucky with wedding cars as they were provided by my FIL's work so cost nothing.
We had nothing but positive comments from those that attended. They loved how small it was, it was more intimate. We got to talk properly to everyone who attended.
We did things this way as my parents offered to pay for a big wedding or a small wedding and a nice honeymoon. Because of what we chose we ended up honeymooning for two weeks in Hawaii. I will never regret our choice to do things the way we did them.
I'm getting married again (probably next year) and we are planning to have a small wedding too. No wedding dress this time as at 41 I feel I'm too old for that, but I will have something nice & it's sure to cost less than my 1st one did. We haven't worked out a budget yet but we will be keeping costs down as much as possible as we need the money for our future.
I'm not married but i wouldn't want a big wedding. To me it's the marriage that's important and (again, for me, not for everyone!) for me i know my marriage would do better starting without debt and with a house we can live in, and i don't care for fancy dresses etc.
I've already thought a lot about it. I'd want family and close friends but would try to keep it under 50 people in total, a quiet registry office ceremony, a new dress but i think i'd make it myself then it could be EXACTLY what i want. I guess i'd spend up to about 3000GBP - is that about $7000AUS? without freaking out - but that'd need to include the honeymoon too! LOL.
I think it comes down to the type of person you are. I have a huge aversion to the organisation stress. If you really want the bells and whistles you're more motivated to get the perfect dress/flowers etc. I'm just not interested enough. I care far more about where we'll live when we get home than where we'll go on our honeymoon. But some people look forward all their lives to marrying that special person, and having that wonderful day. If you're that sort of person you should have that, it's important.
I guess all my life i've been hoping for a man who can make me feel loved, understood, cherished. Now i've found him i'd get married in a bus station bathroom wearing a bin liner for a dress. I've already exceeded my expectations.
About $150 in Las Vegas in 1997 for the most exciting, romantic day of our lives. The package included chapel service with a Minister (The Little Chapel of the Flowers!), professional photos, long white limousine, keepsake ceremonial candle, and a video of the occasion.
Having said that, don't know if we'd do it that way again now we're a bit older and wiser
Last edited by Berry; July 19th, 2007 at 11:40 AM.
we spent prolly 200 bux.. (here comes the hippy again) my dress was 48 dollars... we had it in my dads backyard, surrounded by close family and friends who had a beer in their hands as we did our vows... i had my neices, and nephew and SD dressed up as mini sporty spices...Dad made a three tier carrot cake... we walked up the road(me bare foot) for one night at a semi fancy hotel- yet ordered nothing but spicey wedges at midnight- then walked back to dads the next morning for yummy barby brunch...
We have been married 8 years this December and are more in love now than ever before.
Im so proud of our wedding and would do it exactly the same again and again... it was so "us" and everyone knew that and had a ball....
I think weddings should be about who you are- some people love big white weddings, some people dont.. i think they are all beautiful days... I would have been uncomfortable spending lots of money, its not who i am.. im nervous about lotsa money... we had a mortgage and i was only a 1st year apprentice painter so times were tight... o hang on they still bloody are!!!
We got married at a registry, no honeymoon as we planned to have a proper wedding later. Instead we'll probably have a full wedding reception and renew our vows and go on a honeymoon for our 10th wedding anniversary. Its going to be huge I plan on having a labyrinth style masquarade ball. With really interesting entertainment Will probably cost us a bucket but its a once in a lifetime thing and it will be fun
Ours cost around $10,000 for everything including my dress and it was prefect. I wouldn't have changed a single thing about our wedding at all. We did a few things relatively cheap, but there were other things I would not compromise on. My sister worked for a printing company at the time so I designed the invitations & paid for the wholesale paper only. My cake though was ridiculously expensive but was gorgeous & exactly what I wanted (a huge castle).
I don't think you have to spend an absolute fortune to have a beautiful wedding.
How much did you or will you spend on your wedding?
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) I would have no problem doing it all again
in Las Vegas in 1997 for the most exciting, romantic day of our lives. The package included chapel service with a Minister (The Little Chapel of the Flowers!), professional photos, long white limousine, keepsake ceremonial candle, and a video of the occasion.
Will probably cost us a bucket but its a once in a lifetime thing and it will be fun 
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