I want to get married again!

[Glamourcide]

And I know I'm going to need a LOT of help convincing DH to go along with my nutty idea!!

Some background for you: DH and I had only been together for a month when DD1 was conceived. She was planned (we had been friends for a long time and knew we were right for each other but I was seeing someone, when I decided to bite the bullet and go with my heart we just jumped in head-first lol), and my relatively traditional upbringing (Catholic mother banging on about DTD before marriage and babies must be baptised in case they die of SIDS etc) bubbled up, so DH and I decided to get married while I was pregnant. We had been planning on getting married after DD1 arrived, but I started panicking about *needing* to be legally wed before she was born, so we decided to 'do the legal bit' then, and 'do the party bit' when I'd got my body back.
So, we tied the knot in a courthouse ceremony (DH was brought up with zero religion, and completely shut me down about getting married in the church I've had picked out since I was 14 lol), with just out parents and siblings attending.
It was a beautiful day, I had a blast and was stoked to be married to the man I love and father of my babies, but now I'm definitely feeling the urge to 'do the party bit' as we'd previously discussed.

The problem is, DH figures we're married now, why bother renewing our vows in a ceremony with friends and extended family present? It's just a big fat waste of money that we don't have, which is fair enough, but I *really* want to have a big day for all our friends to share in, where we can write our own vows (we didn't even really say any on our wedding day, just, 'I declare I'm not a bigamist and I'm entering into a legal contract with this ring right here' kind of stuff), I can have the big p.oofy dress and have an actual reception, kwim??

Granted, we will probably have to wait at least another 2 years because DH's credit rating doesn't clear until then (he got into some debt before we were together and he's paid all that off now but the black mark is still there for another couple of years), we will definitely need to get a loan to put on a wedding (just a small one though, maybe $10k), but I figure I should start nagging him now so that by the time we can get finance, I'll have worn him down hehehe. But a couple of years' time would suit me fine, that way the girls will be old enough to know what's going on and maybe even behave themselves rather than running amok or throwing tanties hehe I always thought having your kids as your flowergirls/pageboys was a bit tacky but now I love the idea and want my girls to see mummy and daddy reaffirm their commitment to each other and their love for one another, especially after all the hairy stuff we've been through over the past 3 years.

I'm thinking sunset ceremony, not a church as DH won't hear of it (he still hasn't let me get the kids baptised ), pretty small number of guests, maybe a surprise gig where we send out invites to, say, an anniversary party (eg our 5th wedding anniversary) and then when they all get there, it's like 'HEEEEYYYY!! WE'RE GETTING MARRIED AND YOU'RE ALL HERE FOR IT!!' kind of thing?
Any suggestions as to how I can con DH into renewing our vows and 'dong it right' this time around? Help with budget-friendly ideas are of course much welcome, DH thinks in dollar signs so I think that might help him come around

[Rouge]

We did exactly the same thing. And in 2011 when we have been married for 10 yrs we will be "renewing our vows" with a proper wedding (it just so happens our anniversary falls on a saturday too)... slightly alternative but proper And everyone will be invited and it will be the biggest party on earth. I say pick a milestone and start saving that will show him you're serious!

We're hiring a place here called Monsalvat and having a big masquerade ball after we renew our vows (think labyrinth style) we'll have performers as well (orb jugglers, fire twirlers, sword swallowers and burlesque dancers).

To keep it cheap I'd suggest a ****tail wedding (which is standing rather than sitting) and the food is cheap too, but no one goes hungry. Have you thought about the setting? Is there anything in particular you want? What style? What theme?

[Glamourcide]

Ooh, Rouge, I want your wedding!! That sounds AWESOME!!
I agree, the idea of a ****tail wedding/reception has always stirred something in me, and the saving on food/misery with fussy eaters etc would suit me down to the ground.
As far as theme, lol probably my usual romantic goth/1940's-50's style stuff - DH isn't really into it but goes along with it to keep me happy - our 'colour scheme' for our wedding was red, black and white and he didn't even moan about the red and black tie I scored from an op-shop... I think he was happy to be allowed to wear his Chucks instead of fancy dress shoes!

[kelebek]

I have found with the man in our lives we have to work on them subtly but effectively

Maybe start by saying that you would really love to renew your vows and then a few days or weeks later say about how you want to mark your 5 year anniversary with something special. Then maybe do some research on a suitable location that you think he would like, take him for a picnic and say how nice it would be for a celebration..... see where I am going with this??

I would even in a year or so get to the point of costing the wedding and telling him it's ONLY going to cost x$$$$ and make the amount seem small.

Goodluck and hope you get the day you want

[LaDeeDa]

We did exactly the same thing. And in 2011 when we have been married for 10 yrs we will be "renewing our vows" with a proper wedding (it just so happens our anniversary falls on a saturday too)... slightly alternative but proper And everyone will be invited and it will be the biggest party on earth. I say pick a milestone and start saving that will show him you're serious!

We're hiring a place here called Monsalvat and having a big masquerade ball after we renew our vows (think labyrinth style) we'll have performers as well (orb jugglers, fire twirlers, sword swallowers and burlesque dancers).

To keep it cheap I'd suggest a ****tail wedding (which is standing rather than sitting) and the food is cheap too, but no one goes hungry. Have you thought about the setting? Is there anything in particular you want? What style? What theme?

OMG.....i want ur wedding too!!!!

[Coolabahdee]

Good luck with it all, I just wrote this morning in another post that every girl deserves to be a princess for a day, I would just start organizing it, Sunset beach wedding sounds fabulous, ebay has terrific cheap bits and pieces, what about a Hungi (spelling) or a catered BBQ. Do you have a nice garden? What about your backyard?

I'm currently helping my sister organise her wedding and keep saying how I'd love to get married again, the dresses are far more beautiful and cheaper these days, I love a splash of colour in them nowadays (gees that made me feel old, lol)

Edit: Rogue that sounds fabulous!!!!! I want one!!!!!
it'll be our 15th, I was pregnant yet again for our 10 year one