My philosophy with these sorts of things is 'Your day, your way'. I don't mean to sound rude in saying that but I think if anyone expects to go to a commitment ceremony/wedding wanting it to be about them (as in the guest and being provided with food and wine) then they have the entirely wrong attitude.

At the end of the day you both want to be able to look back on your special day and tell Jazz how great it was and how much it meant to you. I say do what means the most to you but also lets you enjoy your day (I ended up serving drinks at one stage during my wedding....last thing I had wanted to do ).

Best of luck and lets us know how you fair with your invites etc.