Registary / Courthouse Nuptials

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I am sick of wedding planning on a tight arse budget
I am sick of postponing the date
I am sick of trying to work out who to include and exclude to make figures plausible

We just want to be married.

I want the fancy wedding, I do - but I don't want to have to make it a rushed and tight budgeted one either... and I want to be married. In the end I want to be able to call FutureH mine.

I don't want to be thousands in debt
I don't want to cut out half our friends and family to do it
I don't want to wait another five years to be married

A 'wedding' wouldd just be to please our rellies, and I am sick of just pleasing our rellies.


Anyway, I know at least two people on BB who have gotten married at a registary or courthouse then had the "wedding" later on. I just want to know a few things.

• Cost
• What did you wear
• Do you think it is still as special
• How did your family react
• & any other details you are willing to spill

I am tearing my hair out and the date we are hoping for draws nearer and we need to do a notice of marriage soon if we are going to go ahead with it.

TIA

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

Just a quick reply - going out, but I'll give a longer one when we get back.

Dress, fees, license etc - less than $1000

We didn't have any money for a reception, so we said everyone could come as long as they paid for their own meals. I don't think my day was any less special - we know that only those who ACTUALLY wanted to be there came.

Be back probably tomorrow morning, feel free to PM me

[Visitor7]

A friend of mine got married at the registrar, then celebrated with friends and family that night at a nice restaurant for dinner.
She bought a semi casual white dress and had 2 bridesmaids. They did their own hair and make up, and their flowers were very simple.
They asked their guests for no presents, but for them to buy their own dinner.

They had a fantastic day. The most expensive thing for the day was the photographer, which didn't cost the earth either.

If you didn't want a restaurant setting, then you could have a celebration at the beach or in a backyard with caterers. Or you could find somewhere to have a ****tail reception.
It doesn't need to be expensive. You can either pay for meals, and guests buy their own drinks. Or guests buy their meals and you provide drinks.
Weddings can certainly be done on a budget. I wish I lived closer to you cause I love orgnanising weddings!

[DaintreeDream]

I am getting married on Feb 28th and we wanted something small. First it was to be a suprise in a garden. Then our option was a lovely garden in Mornington for the ceremony (costs approx. $350 incl. photos for ceremony) and we were not going to have a reception. I wanted a dress for me and DD, suit for DF, simple flowers and a celebrant. (no bridesmaids etc. just us and DD) I was to invite 11 people. Parents, Grandparents, Siblings and Neices/Nephews.

My cousin then sent out engagement party invites for the date of our wedding (she didn't know as it was still a suprise) and it was the only day they had free for the garden until March.
Now... we are having a bush wedding in my Aunties LARGE yard, ceremony as above and a reception of a spit roast and desserts. I plan to have only 2 tables (for the elderly and pregnant etc) and some picnic rugs, I want it to be a casual affair and for everyone to interact which I do not believe will happen if they are 'allocated a chair'. We plan to spend under $2000- and we now have 50ish people coming as we included Aunties/Uncles/Cousins.

Sorry for the long post just thought I would throw out some ideas.

Good Luck with your plans! It is hard to remember it is about 'you' not your rellies etc.

Deanne.

[LimeSlice]

D and I were going to get married in a registry office. The only reason we didnt was that mum was dying and we wanted her to see one of her kids married with the whole nine yards. And we could afford to do it then because she paid for most of it too.
You can wear anything you want to the registry office, you can still say your own vows etc, you can have about 20 people there, so you can have close family and friends - which means that no extended family is going to be offended because you dont have to have any there at all. All you need is yourselves, and 2 witnesses.

I think it is just as special as any other wedding, they just dont make tv shows about registry weddings! lol

There is no reason you cant have some sort of reception after the ceremony. A ****tail party is often WAY cheaper than a full sit down dinner. You can see if you know anyone who will make your cake for you, that will save you about $1000 right there too.
My flowers were really simple too, but they still cost $900 - which is pretty cheap - but the less tables you have, the less you need centre pieces (again, ****tail functions eliminate the need for big sitdown tables.) Also, having only one bridesmaid and groomsman will keep the cost down too - only buying one dress/suit and one bouquet, etc.

Anyway, I know how stressful it can be - I planned my whole wedding in 5 weeks lol - so if you need help with anything, let me know Good luck and hang in there - at the end of that day you will wonder what all the fuss was about and just wish you had more time to enjoy each other

[The[cookie]Doctor]

Hey Limey thanks hun

My flowers were only going to cost $330 including postage. I had silk flowers ordered. I have already had them refunded. We were working with 40 people at most @ $30 a head and still couldn't afford it which is why we're skipping the whole 'wedding' for now. The church alone was costing $700 (because it's a basilica and i refused to have it any where else)

I just want simple and over and done with. That and I got sick of Anthony saying he didn't care what I organised but he wouldn't budge on the money issue. Now we're movving interstate so won't be able to afford the big deal anyway.

I have a wedding band and we would have enough to get FH a band no trouble I just can't be bothered with the rest of it. In fact I would be happy to have just our two closest friends as our witnesses... BUT I have no nice clothes or dresses that really fit well enough to even have nice photos of our 'real' wedding day to reflect on.

I should just stop ebing so fussy and pedantic Argh I am not even making sense.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

I was too slow

thanks Jodi and Kitten. Yup C I was thinking of you Thanks for the info too.

I'll have to come back DS is crying

[briggsy's girl]

A - we had the bigger wedding because we could afford it at the time - BUT, due to extended family issues, we spoke to our celebrant about doing a private ceremony in advance. all it was going to cost was her fee (about 300 i think) and the registration of intent to marry (which i think was 50) - all we had to do was show up with two witnesses. maybe that's something to think about. just take two friends, and go and get married! there is no need to do a big wedding at all - it's personal choice

family will whinge - no matter what you do - but the important thing to remember is that this is about YOU - no one elses opinion means anything at all! as long as you are happy (well, you and your hubby to be!).

as to what to wear - if you're not going the big wedding, find something nice that you like - it doesn't have to be "gown"ish - you could go a skirt and top or a simple dress - find something you love hun. don't let the traditional expectations take over!

ultimately, your venue and how you're dressed won't change anything - gazing into your partners eyes and declaring your love and commitment will be what you remember for always. i can't remember much of the whirlwind that was our wedding day - but i can close my eyes and picture DH's face when i said i'd be with him forever, i can remember the tears in his eyes when i declared the same to him - THAT is the stuff your memories will be made of

and if you can do all of that and still have a few bucks left from your budget - throw a bbq, invite everyone to BYO, get people to help with salads etc - and party! but if you can't afford that - simply go out with your DH, and share a special dinner with him...

[Hollybolly]

Ash,

BG's first paragraph in her post reminded me that my mum & stepdads best friends got married this time last year - they went away for the weekend (Mum, Stepdad, bride & groom) - and had organised a celebrant in the area.

They went down to the beach that morning & said their vows with my parents as witnesses.... and afterwards the 4 of them went out for lunch at a nearby winery.

The groom wore a nice shirt & jeans rolled up, the bride wore a really nice 3/4 skirt & nice top... no shoes - easy
(And Mum said it was perfect )

[Gabrielle]

A - we had the bigger wedding because we could afford it at the time - BUT, due to extended family issues, we spoke to our celebrant about doing a private ceremony in advance. all it was going to cost was her fee (about 300 i think) and the registration of intent to marry (which i think was 50) - all we had to do was show up with two witnesses. maybe that's something to think about. just take two friends, and go and get married! there is no need to do a big wedding at all - it's personal choice

family will whinge - no matter what you do - but the important thing to remember is that this is about YOU - no one elses opinion means anything at all! as long as you are happy (well, you and your hubby to be!).

as to what to wear - if you're not going the big wedding, find something nice that you like - it doesn't have to be "gown"ish - you could go a skirt and top or a simple dress - find something you love hun. don't let the traditional expectations take over!

ultimately, your venue and how you're dressed won't change anything - gazing into your partners eyes and declaring your love and commitment will be what you remember for always. i can't remember much of the whirlwind that was our wedding day - but i can close my eyes and picture DH's face when i said i'd be with him forever, i can remember the tears in his eyes when i declared the same to him - THAT is the stuff your memories will be made of

and if you can do all of that and still have a few bucks left from your budget - throw a bbq, invite everyone to BYO, get people to help with salads etc - and party! but if you can't afford that - simply go out with your DH, and share a special dinner with him...

I would like to know which kind of wine has been afforded on wedding party.I hope you guys enjoyed a lot.Thanks for sharing.

[Hollybolly]

Ash, how much $$$ have you got to spend?

We did ours really cheaply - depending on what you want to spend for your 'wedding' it may be possible hun - I can help you with some ideas

If not, you can always do what friends of ours did - just invited us around for a Sunday brunch bbq... halfway through they went & got changed, had an MC announce there was something special happening, and they hired a celebrant to arrive at the right time.

They had already asked the two witnesses - so had no bridal party.

Was VERY easy & very cruisy... but was one of the best weddings I've been to because it was just so down to earth & real IYKWIM?

We still had a wedding, but it was very toned down (difficult for everyone in the families to get their heads around... especially DHs as they are Sicilian & his is the first born son, so they were expecting something like from 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' )
It was amazing... and very easy.
We didn't have a bridal party either, just 2 witnesses & three kids.. but you could even tone it down further than that & just have you & DP & A.... let me know if you want any ideas

The bridal registry sounds like a good idea too, can't help you though cause I just don't know anything, sorry hun

[The[cookie]Doctor]

Ash, how much $$$ have you got to spend?

Nada...
We were looking at max $5k but now we're moving interstate in three weeks so we have nothing. Whatever we spend is what we can manage to save between now and Feb 18th. Which on no jobs is going to be sweet F/A... however MIL has already said she would pay for it if it's what we want because in trade for our wedding moving closer to them means she gets to see her grandson

& yah BG & I will be Anni Twins (IIRC?)

all it was going to cost was her fee (about 300 i think) and the registration of intent to marry (which i think was 50) - all we had to do was show up with two witnesses. maybe that's something to think about. just take two friends, and go and get married!
...
you could go a skirt and top or a simple dress - find something you love hun. don't let the traditional expectations take over!
...
ultimately, your venue and how you're dressed won't change anything - gazing into your partners eyes and declaring your love and commitment will be what you remember for always. i can't remember much of the whirlwind that was our wedding day - but i can close my eyes and picture DH's face when i said i'd be with him forever, i can remember the tears in his eyes when i declared the same to him - THAT is the stuff your memories will be made of

Do you know where you get the registration of intent to marry from / how do go about it?

I'm half considering just getting something totally me because it would suit. Anth said he wants to hear 'Ashley' by Escape The Fate while we sign so it seems fitting that I could just dress up in my lace up leather boots, some colourful tights... etc. And just be me, us, together.

We thought about going down to W'gong because that's the closest RBDM to where we will be living so we were going to have a picnic on the beach afterwards.

Ash I reckon go for it! Its clear you and Ant love one another and personally Im more into the small wedding as its more intimate. I always said if I got married Id go to Sunnygirl to get my dress and white was not important. Make it YOUR day, have it as laidback as YOU BOTH want it and bugger anyone else. They want a big thing, THEY can pay for it. Sorry sounds a tad aggressive but make yourself happy darl you deserve it

Thanks Rhy, I miss you hun


Does anyone know with regards to renewing your vows - can they be renewd in a church? It's the only thing putting me off. I desperately wanted to get married in the Catholic Church I was baptised in - so I would like to do our 'fancy wedding' as a vowel renewal when we are able to... just want to know if id still be able to do it at st. mary's.

[DoubleK]

Ash darl, i dont know any of the finer details that you're after, but i reckon do whatever the hell you wanna do, wear what you want, party however you want, at the end of the day, its about getting married to the man you love!!

wear whatever you feel comfy in, get a friend to take pics on a digital camera, have someone else with a video camera (if you want) throw a bbq and relax and enjoy yourself!!

gee, ive almost talked myself into doing that for us not that we're even engaged yet lol

[briggsy's girl]

hun, i'm not sure - if you're moving in three weeks, you'll need to arrange it in NSW not vic - which is going to be a logistical nightmare if you're down here - maybe contact births deaths and marriages NSW and check it out. i would be contacting a celebrant in the area you're going to and arranging something there - that way you don't have to travel. perhaps you can exchange vows in yass (i vaguely recall you saying that was where you were going) and head into canberra for a fancy dinner - or maybe even go into canberra... i might be wrong though - i'm pg and have lost my brain!

definitely get onto it next week though - you need to know how to lodge it all. ours was done through the celebrant about 6 weeks before we got hitched (very early Jan from memory) - she got us to fill it out and took the money and sent it off. we had an awesome celebrant though - someone i've known for years kwim?

i don't know if you can renew your vows in a church - i think it would be up to the priest at the time. i can't see why you wouldn't be able to - essentially you're paying the church for a service...

[Danni]

Hunny, I havent read all the past posts, but why don't you have a river cruise? Or similar....

You just hire the celebrant, and everyone else can pay for their dinner?

[Kitt3n]

hey gorgeous, i assume i am one of those "two"??

please bear with me, one handed typing with baby in arm!

to answer your q's.....

• Cost - wedding registry fee was about $400, then dinner forimmediate family afterward was about another $400
• What did you wear - a green dress with pink accesories! just a dress, not a wedding dress at all
• Do you think it is still as special - hun, its your wedding day, a day you will cherish forever because you are marrying the love of your life, thats what makes it special, not the frills
• How did your family react - if you mean extended family well they understood that with a baby on the way $$ was too short to go spending on frills
• & any other details you are willing to spill

in all honesty we can both say that we are so glad of the way we did it. we hear of friends spending thouands and e just couldnt justify it - we are in love, we are married and thats what is important o us, not a pretty dress that will never be worn again.
kwim??

happy to give you any info hun, ask away i'll get more detailed if you like wheni have two hands!