Registary / Courthouse Nuptials

[Hollybolly]

Ash, how much $$$ have you got to spend?

We did ours really cheaply - depending on what you want to spend for your 'wedding' it may be possible hun - I can help you with some ideas

If not, you can always do what friends of ours did - just invited us around for a Sunday brunch bbq... halfway through they went & got changed, had an MC announce there was something special happening, and they hired a celebrant to arrive at the right time.

They had already asked the two witnesses - so had no bridal party.

Was VERY easy & very cruisy... but was one of the best weddings I've been to because it was just so down to earth & real IYKWIM?

We still had a wedding, but it was very toned down (difficult for everyone in the families to get their heads around... especially DHs as they are Sicilian & his is the first born son, so they were expecting something like from 'My Big Fat Greek Wedding' )
It was amazing... and very easy.
We didn't have a bridal party either, just 2 witnesses & three kids.. but you could even tone it down further than that & just have you & DP & A.... let me know if you want any ideas

The bridal registry sounds like a good idea too, can't help you though cause I just don't know anything, sorry hun

[The[cookie]Doctor]

Ash, how much $$$ have you got to spend?

Nada...
We were looking at max $5k but now we're moving interstate in three weeks so we have nothing. Whatever we spend is what we can manage to save between now and Feb 18th. Which on no jobs is going to be sweet F/A... however MIL has already said she would pay for it if it's what we want because in trade for our wedding moving closer to them means she gets to see her grandson

& yah BG & I will be Anni Twins (IIRC?)

all it was going to cost was her fee (about 300 i think) and the registration of intent to marry (which i think was 50) - all we had to do was show up with two witnesses. maybe that's something to think about. just take two friends, and go and get married!
...
you could go a skirt and top or a simple dress - find something you love hun. don't let the traditional expectations take over!
...
ultimately, your venue and how you're dressed won't change anything - gazing into your partners eyes and declaring your love and commitment will be what you remember for always. i can't remember much of the whirlwind that was our wedding day - but i can close my eyes and picture DH's face when i said i'd be with him forever, i can remember the tears in his eyes when i declared the same to him - THAT is the stuff your memories will be made of

Do you know where you get the registration of intent to marry from / how do go about it?

I'm half considering just getting something totally me because it would suit. Anth said he wants to hear 'Ashley' by Escape The Fate while we sign so it seems fitting that I could just dress up in my lace up leather boots, some colourful tights... etc. And just be me, us, together.

We thought about going down to W'gong because that's the closest RBDM to where we will be living so we were going to have a picnic on the beach afterwards.

Ash I reckon go for it! Its clear you and Ant love one another and personally Im more into the small wedding as its more intimate. I always said if I got married Id go to Sunnygirl to get my dress and white was not important. Make it YOUR day, have it as laidback as YOU BOTH want it and bugger anyone else. They want a big thing, THEY can pay for it. Sorry sounds a tad aggressive but make yourself happy darl you deserve it

Thanks Rhy, I miss you hun


Does anyone know with regards to renewing your vows - can they be renewd in a church? It's the only thing putting me off. I desperately wanted to get married in the Catholic Church I was baptised in - so I would like to do our 'fancy wedding' as a vowel renewal when we are able to... just want to know if id still be able to do it at st. mary's.

[DoubleK]

Ash darl, i dont know any of the finer details that you're after, but i reckon do whatever the hell you wanna do, wear what you want, party however you want, at the end of the day, its about getting married to the man you love!!

wear whatever you feel comfy in, get a friend to take pics on a digital camera, have someone else with a video camera (if you want) throw a bbq and relax and enjoy yourself!!

gee, ive almost talked myself into doing that for us not that we're even engaged yet lol

[briggsy's girl]

hun, i'm not sure - if you're moving in three weeks, you'll need to arrange it in NSW not vic - which is going to be a logistical nightmare if you're down here - maybe contact births deaths and marriages NSW and check it out. i would be contacting a celebrant in the area you're going to and arranging something there - that way you don't have to travel. perhaps you can exchange vows in yass (i vaguely recall you saying that was where you were going) and head into canberra for a fancy dinner - or maybe even go into canberra... i might be wrong though - i'm pg and have lost my brain!

definitely get onto it next week though - you need to know how to lodge it all. ours was done through the celebrant about 6 weeks before we got hitched (very early Jan from memory) - she got us to fill it out and took the money and sent it off. we had an awesome celebrant though - someone i've known for years kwim?

i don't know if you can renew your vows in a church - i think it would be up to the priest at the time. i can't see why you wouldn't be able to - essentially you're paying the church for a service...

[Danni]

Hunny, I havent read all the past posts, but why don't you have a river cruise? Or similar....

You just hire the celebrant, and everyone else can pay for their dinner?

[mrsmac]

Do it interstate!! We got married in NT and only had our parents andour one sibling each with a few friends who were local. It was beautiful, we used a celebrant in the park , can't remember the cost sorry then walked across the road to a big hotel and had a buffet meal in a seperate part of the dining room. Guests paid for their own alcohol. Mum made my dress cause I was 5 months pg! A lady at work's friend made the cake for $50, my brother is a wedding photography so we were lucky we got fantatsic photos free!
I am in Sydney and on school holidays so if you need anyone to do any phoning or enquiring for you I would LOVE to!! I can ask my brother questions too since he is in the business, although he is wayyy too expensive for nayone on a budget LOL

[The[cookie]Doctor]

Yup to Yass we go

Might have to make some phone calls on monday... wish i had a job already though.

What bad timing with a move and wanting to get married around the same time.

Id still be interested in heading down to Wollongong but i guess i need to find out some other info first.

[briggsy's girl]

if you get the licence in nsw won't matter who marries you hun! or where!

there are some awesom places in ACT though - i would love to have exchanged vows at top of Mount Ainslie = the view is awesome up there!

[Ceejelz]

I did our whole wedding on a budget of $5,000

We hired out a community hall from the local council, and they let us go in late late on the friday night at set up all the tables and stuff ready to go. We did the ceremony there, and gave a friend of mine insturctions when we went to have photos done, to pull out all the tables and had the reception there too.

We used friends for alot of stuff - hubby is heavily into cars and his best man owned a 55 chevy - hello wedding car! and a good friend of mine was a good photographer - not professional but they look fantastic and he only cost me a slab of beer.

We had a catering company come in and do a 3 course meal for $15 a head and they did the dishes afterwards!!

We hired a juke box instead of having a band - it had the same affect and we didnt have to feed the juke box like you traditionally do with a band.

We bought all the alcohol at Dan Murphys liqour super store when it was all on special, I even went into well known bottle stores, picked out expensive wines and asked the person behind the counter what tastes just like it but is cheap as, then bought it in boxes of 12 - each bottle only cost $3 but tasted like it was $30.

I used E-BAY for EVERYTHING!! found a couple who do wedding invites - we picked the design and they printed them up $2 each including the envelopes. I found a listing on e-bay for a wedding store that went into liqidation and needed to get rid of all their stock, I paid $1 each for my black organza chair sashes and 50c for the organza bags and filled them with lollies from the darell lee's factory seconds store as the gifts to guests.

Got my dress off e-bay for $60... brand new still with tags and original price tage ($650) off a lady who bought it but found out she was pregnant and was going to be 7 months by the wedding and couldnt wear it but needed to sell it asap to buy baby clothes!!

The cheese cake shop did our 3 teir wedding cake - carmel mud with caramel icing, for $150.

So it can be done, it takes alot of research though. If you want some help just let me know

[Kitt3n]

ash, all you need to do in nsw is hand in your intent to marry form one month before you do so.... if you are moving, why dont you organise a celebrant to meet you at a lovely spot along the coast? if you are going past wollongong (where are you moving to?) check our Mount Keira - such beautiul lookouts, you and two witnesses in the rainforest irst thing in the dewey mornong! ah so special!!

then you can have the party later down the track, when you have the $$. bright side - you will get two dresses that you can wear again, instead of one that you will never use again!

[LimeSlice]

the celebrant will organise the intent to marry form for you and file it too.
there is a celebrant website that is like a registry - has a whole bunch of celebrants from all over the country, lists what services they offer, whenre they are prepared to travel, etc. Something like 'celebrant-e" dot com.
If you do go the registry route, you will need to do it yourself. you can print the form from online, and you need to submit it (in vic) one month and one day before the intended ceremony. You will need full original birth certificates (not extracts or photocopies) and ID to lodge the form.

[The[cookie]Doctor]

then you can have the party later down the track, when you have the $$. bright side - you will get two dresses that you can wear again, instead of one that you will never use again!

but i still want the dress i will never wear again!!

i jusdt talked to anth again and he has changed his mind. whats the point of getting married when the way we do it wont make him happy.
looks like im waiting until we can afford it, which given we are roughly $6000 in debt due to the move is going to be a long freaking time

[lmbmcb]

HI
Just an idea as an alternative.
Our wedding and honeymoon cost under $3000 and we had 150 guests.
Keep in mind that our wedding was in '99, so prices will have gone up somewhat, but the biggest cost we avoided was for catering. Even if catering has increased significantly it wouldn't affect the cost to you if you get your guests to pay for their own meal as we did.

Dress - $170 made by a friend, bought material and pattern from Spotlight - looked great!
Flowers - Only had a bouquet for me and one bridesmaid - paid for by a friend but only cost around $50 anyway, artificial flowers. looked great.
Cake - Didn't bother
[B]Bridesmaids dress - paid for her own
Celebrant - $80
Reception - Cost $400 to hire the Ballroom at Noahs on the beach - Newcastle - gorgeous venue. Had the wedding on a Sunday so it was cheaper! Included overnight stay in a spa room.
Food- asked guests to pay for own meals instead of buying us a present. $32 per head for a 3 course meal.
Alcohol - only supplied soft drink and non alcoholic wine, but the bar was open for guests to purchase their own drinks if required.
Music - Hired a jukebox - can't remember the cost but not very much
Honeymoon - 4 days on a houseboat on the Myall Lakes - under $500
There were other expenses such as suit hire and some table decorations, I did the invitations on my computer so only paid for the paper from office works. Cars were borrowed from a friend. Photos and video also by a friend who was learning photography.

Our wedding was beautiful. I don't feel that I missed out on my special day in anyway. The reception centre was just lovely and the meal was great. By asking our friends to pay for their own meal we probably saved thousands and could invite everyone we wanted to.This was actually part of the deal with Noahs, we got the reception room at a cheaper rate but we had to fill it with 150 paying customers. Maybe think about having your wedding on a Sunday or weekday - you will save heaps.
Hope you have a lovely wedding!
L.B.

[briggsy's girl]

Ash - if you want the big day, don't let it put you off that you have to wait. yeah, moving now is a PITA, and it will leave you short of money for a year or so - but why not plan in advance - maybe look at your fifth anniv of getting together (i know Feb 18 is important to you - me too!) - or look for the next time it falls on the day you got together cos then you know it will be your anniv to the day (so if it was 06, you can get married in 2012 cos that's the next time it's on a Saturday kwim?) - i know a wedding is an important and very public declaration of your love for each other - but you don't want to do something you'll be disappointed in and regret. it's possible to do the small thing, but if you plan (and start getting bits and pieces now) it's doable on a still reasonably restricted budget

FWIW - apart from "THE DRESS" which was initially going to be hand made, but ended up being an off the rack thing that i loved - and the only one i tried on - our expenses were minimal. we got spit roast catering, friend made the cake, i did all the invites myself (and they turned out fab might if i may say so myself!) - the "gift" for guests was a CD of music relevant to our relationship - which i made myself - cost maybe $2 a couple... i think all up (dress excluded) it cost us around $4000, which included $1000 over the bar, $1800 for catering (for around 115 people), gifts for everyone that helped out (bottle of wine with personalised labels), invitations etc. and was organised on a budget (DH unemployed at the time and paying mortgage/expenses on two houses for four months) from August 05 to Feb 06. it was full on, and i had to put in the hard yards on all the details myself, but it worked out really well.

if you need help with doing the "big" wedding on a budget, i'm here to help - add me on msn and ask away hun!

[Isadora]

Firstly, you dont need to spend a bomb or get yourself into debt to have a special wedding day. Your wedding day is what you make of it. At the end of the day, its about you & your man & the love that you have for one another and your DS.

Secondly well done for not going down the whole personal loan track, to pay for a wedding. That is such a bad move, especially for a young family. You dont need to be starting married life with a debt like that over your heads. Unfortunately alot of people get trapped.

A registry wedding to me sounds absolutely beautiful. I have heard some lovely stories. We almost went down that track ourselves, as like you we just wanted to get married, we were over the planning, cost, family input & on & on... You can make it so special.

Otherwise, I'll give you a quick run down on our plans & that could give you some inspiration. We are having a backyard casual affair. Will you have a nice backyard where you are moving, or could you use the MIL's backyard? We have organised a caterer for 60 people its just under $1000. Otherwise you can so easily cater for it yourself....so so easy I just didnt want the hassle on my wedding day iykwim. After our ceremony in a park not too far from home, everyone will rock up at our joint & we've organised party hire (chairs, tables etc) & we will dance the night away lol. Apart from food and alcohol, one of our bigger expenses has been my dress.

So onto the dress, would you consider a second hand dress? Otherwise you can get a stunning dress 'off the rack' in a bridal store, this is what I did and my dress is a couture that was marked down from $2,200 to just under $1000.

We arent using a photographer. Its a huge expense and all of our family & friends have cameras, so they will take plenty for us. We have even though of buying ourselves a new camera to use on the day & at least at the end of the day we will have stacks of pics & a camera that we can use again!!

We are also making our own cupcake wedding cake.

Another idea is an afternoon tea wedding. Pick a nice location & use a celebrant (we found a beautiful park right on the river, and I have hired it for 2 hours free of charge through the local council - there are plenty of free locations around) get married, go back to someones house & provide arvo tea foods, ie cheesecake shop, tea, coffee & nibblies. By doing it this way, its small, intimate & the budget is kept down but its still a classy wedding iykwim.

Invites, I dont know if I am allowed to mention the website here so I will FB it to you, they were $60 all up & are perfect.

What date are you hoping for? I hope you can get it to all come together for you. If you need any tips please feel free to ask me here on on FB, I've done so much wedding research I am going bonkers lol. Otherwise my wedding day is March 7th so look out for my pics for inspiration & ideas!!

At the end of the day, let me just say, my parents were married in a registry office, my dad had to borrow a smart pair of pants from his mate & my mum wore a simple dress from her wardrobe, they have one shocking wedding photo lol, YET they are still together.

[Aimz]

Cost - $300 (I think). We had to put down $100 to set the date. You have to give the court 30 days notice prior to getting married.

What did you wear - A $30 dress I bought the day before!! It was a pearl colour and I wore it with a dusty pink wrap and a matching necklace. I wore little kitten heels.

Do you think it is still as special - We don't clasify this date as our real wedding date. We had our symbloic ceremony 3 weeks later in the Greek Islands which we call our wedding date. Getting married at the court house was just legally easier. DH and I both had our Hens/Bucks parties the night before so we were feeling a bit seedy. It was lovely though - short a sweet.

How did your family react - A lot of people were glad to be able to see us get married at the court house because most of those that came couldn't make it over to Greece for our big wedding.

& any other details you are willing to spill - You will have a meeting with the registrar of the court (I think that's what he was called) and they will ask you a few questions and help you pick a date. Ours was in between bail hearings . It was special in it's own way - we giggled the whole way through and there were no nerves. It's much more relaxing when there isn't a big production. Three weeks later at our "big" wedding I was a nervous wreck - and I was already married!! We didn't tell any of our guests in the Greek Islands that we were already married - we didn't want to spoil it for them! We had our official marriage certificate from the courthouse displayed in a cute little canister on our cake table at our "big" wedding.

[echidna]

Your weddings sound perfect. I think I have decided to not have a bridal party, just guests, I'd probably have my close friend take my flowers, and DF can have his mate hand him the rings, or he could have the rings himself. I've decided on plain wedding bands, that's enough. My engagement ring is four figures, so that's plenty! I think we could have the reception at a restaurant or one of the really good pubs in town, and have everyone pay their own. Not sure yet. The date isn't set until December, but January or February is more likely. I'm trying to spread things out over time so its not a mad dash. We'll see how that turns out later!

[tiggerlinda]

Hey I may be a little late but DH and I got married in the Reg office in Mebourne which is in the old treasury building looked just as good as a chruch and we still had 50 people there. It took about half an hour and then we had our friends join us for dinner as a pressie. Also we had a good photo deal with Kate Ramsey Google her she is amazing.

PM me if you want more details