We went to one years ago. It was set up as a surprise birthday party for the groom... it was going to be a surprise wedding for him too (!) but at the last minute his brothers decided he should know.
We were told about it because we lived away & had to organise babysitters & travel, but a lot of people who lived closer & didn't know didn't show. I think like Ness said it was kind of a case of, well you were invited, if you cared you would have come.
TBH I don't know if that's fair, I think it's pretty standard that most people would make more effort for a wedding than a birthday, being that a wedding is one time only and birthdays are every year.
I think setting it up as a pre-elopement party or an engagement party is a good idea, I think you would get a better turn up.
We had a surprise wedding. It was at our engagement party. We figured that if people weren't able to make the effort for the engagement party, then they probably wouldn't for the wedding either so we weren't worried about people not making it.
It was AWESOME! Nice and relaxed a nice surprise for most (although quite a few had an inkling) We told our families because we were the first on each side to get married and didn't want our parents to miss out on helping organise (mainly my mum).
Everyone loved it. It was so much easier to organise than a wedding too... no expectations from guests etc. It was also cheaper because everything was for an 'engagement party' rather than a wedding. Usually when busniesses hear the W word they triple their prices!
I was lucky that I got to surprise all of our guests again with a pregnancy announcement during my speech which was cool.
People always talk about how much they enjoyed it, even 3 years later. I think it's a fabulous idea!
I also agree that you'd need a 'big' event for it to be held at. A birthday party probably wouldn't get as much effort made by guests as an engagement party or christening etc.
Niadalla - Can I ask how you pulled it off? When did you tell everyone what was actually happening? Also as far as the venue, did they have any issues with you holding a wedding instead of an engagement party
See, that's where you don't actually tell the venue that it's a wedding. Why do they need to know?
What I did was,, keep it a secret until I walked down the aisle
We had our wedding at a rowing club - they didn't care what we did at the place as long as it was clean when we handed the keys back. I got my own caterers in (because this rowing club is practically a hall with a kitchen). I had a self serve buffet ype meal with several different meats, salads, veggies, breads etc. We had finger food to start and the cake was dessert.
I told my immediate family (parents siblings) and DH's immediate family (parents siblings) and that was pretty much it. All of my invitations said engagement party, and I played on the words asking people to arrive by 5pm to be seated for meals. 5pm was when I was due to arrive. We got married by the lake with my celebrant. Noone knew what was going on until they were asked to step outside of the rowing club. It was fab
We had wedding cars, had our photos taken before the wedding, and had our cake made by my SIL's. It was just like a standard wedding in many ways and so different in many others.
A friend of mine had a surprise wedding in her backyard and it was one of the most special weddings I have been to.
They did it as thier engagement/ housewarming party even though they had been angaged a while and had the house a while they worded the invitation in a way that basically said they thought it was time they celebrated thie engagement and house with family and friends.
So my friend had her hair done for the day and make up but just wore some nice pants and a top to begin with, then at a certain time, she went and got changed as did her husband to be he then came out and they had another friend announce it, he stood at thier home made alter/ decorated monkey bars and then she came around the side and walked down the aisle to him.
She had even had her cousin whom she was really close to, become a celebrant to marry them.
Everyone was so pleased with the day, her mum and sister were beside themselves but so happy for her...
She just made sure her cake wasn't recognisable as a wedding cake just a nicely decorated cake that would suit an egagement party.
they also put poles up and placed chains from one to the other hanging jars with tea lights in them the effect was amazing when they were all lit up...
The invitations also had a peom which I helped her with thatw as worded in a way so that people knew to be there by a certain time.
The catering they had was great and it all just worked out really well.
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