Our wedding was pretty much child free. We were very young and the first of our friends to marry so there were no friends children to worry about. DH's niece and nephew were invited as they are imediate family, and my baby cousin too (FF but still only a small baby and 120km from home) but her brothers stayed with their grandparents. It was a day wedding so they were home that evening as normal.

The biggest upset was that we didnt invite cousins. We had 92guests +the 3children with only the immediate family and aunts/uncles. All the rest of the cousins were primary school aged at least or adult, many of them already had their own children. If we had invited them all it would have doubled the guest list. One of DH aunties didnt come because her children and their children werent coming but everyone else was very understanding. In fact we had sooooo many compliments, that it was the nicest, most relaxed wedding they had been to.

The toddler neice/nephew made a total pain of themselves the whole day as it was hot and boring for them so they spent a lot of time being walked around outside by their dad and my baby cousin didnt make a peep.

We have been to two weddings since having DD. She was invited to one at 11months and not BF anymore as there were 2 other babies coming. It was quite easy entertaining her and she loved being passed around but we did leave early. The other she wasnt invited to and that was a major PITA as it was 130km from home, 40km from my parents who were babysitting and when we got there we found half the babies were there and half were not. They were also cousins babies just like we were so I dont know if there were mixed messages or maybe if we had asked, she could have come.

I think people have very strong feelings about this topic and often take offence when it surely is not intended to be that way. If someone loves and wants you at their wedding they are surely not likely to deliberately NOt invite your child just be be nasty and upsetting to you. It is for some other reason, maybe not to your thinking but then it is THEIR wedding.