Why don't you wrap your house in danger danger danger plastic safety type tape or will that have the opposite effect and attract people hoping to see something interesting?

Sorry Sam, that wasn't very helpful. I think your wording is too gentle, it needs to be harsher, more like DO NOT DISTURB. I guess you could just try your sign and see if it works. Goodluck What a sort of unusual but none the less frustrating problem to have.