Thanks so much for responding everyone.

It's good to hear that there are so many flexible employers out there and that many of you have had great experiences.

It's all so hit, miss and unpredictable as to whether we're going to be able to find the working arrangements that we want/need.

My sympathies to those of you who've found it tough - I was in the same boat.

Wanted to work part-time after having DD1. Employer (of 36,000 people) said - no problem. BUT, you can't do your old job part-time and nor will we let you job share with the person who did your job while on maternity leave who also wants to job share BUT ... how about we give you a job two levels below what you were doing previously but pay you at the higher salary. I didn't have much choice other than to take it. To me, it wasn't about the money, it was about wanting a job that I found challenging. Anyhow, that job drove me slowly batty and I didn't return after having DD2, taking a redundancy package instead.

I can feel a research project coming on into what experiences women have when seeking part-time work with their employer on returning from maternity leave.

It's also interesting that (reading between the lines) the smaller employers can be the most flexible ones.