Well thats not me atm (or any time soon LOL) But it is DH.
Here are my person looking in suggestions.
ME time - Its important but as always you will find it gets put to the bottom of the list. Try taking a book/kintting with you to work & using your lunch break as your ME time.
Also the drive/trip home. Loud music playing is always my thing when I am in the car
Family time - Set aside an hour in the evenings where you all sit & do something. We do this. 7pm to 8 pm is Family time (we even call it that). TV is off, raido on & we sit together & play board games, draw with the kids, go for a walk etc. We allow this time to also include a bath for the kids if needed. Dinner sometimes overlaps into this time also as DH's shifts sometimes means he gets home just before 7. But regardless TV is off etc & we all sit together to eat, talk etc.
Kid time - DH reads to the kids each night for Bed (currently reading the BFG). Bed time is his domain with the 3 older kids. Weekends are also his time to spend time with them. He is a good dad & spends as much time as he can with them when he is home.
Study time - DH is also doing a Full time UNI degree via correspondance. He is lucky in that he can do *some* study at work (well has been able to in the past, this year its harder to fit it in) but he uses about an hour after the children go to bed to study. He will also let me know if there is something he *needs* to do. So I know he isn't just fluffy about on the net & I can keep the kids out of his hair. DOes Jaz still have a day sleep? You could use this time on the weekends for study also?
Couple time - Ahhh tricky this one. Be inventive. Unfortantly DH & I don't get alot of "couple" time. Co sleeping with Iain & a reluctant sleeper with Evan means he is usually tired or asleep already by the time ALL the kids are asleep. We haven't been out ALONE on a "Date" for over 7 years. But you know what.. We are happily Married. we have been together for 14 years this year so we must be doing something right. Sure we have our rough patches but nothing major.
We are both stronge belivers that a couple with kids, is exactly that, a couple with kids. Sure "couple" time is important but I don't belive it is an esential part of the day in making a relationship work KWIM.
On the Midnight bedtime. Well Yes I do but I don't go to work each day (well not outside the home ) BUT I think you should give yourself a bedtime. When I was still working outside the home I made sure come 11pm I was in bed. I'm lucky that I do ok with late nights. Its early starts that kill me LOL.
I wish i could give you some answers but we're both going to be working full time as of monday with me doing my diploma on monday nights as well and i am not looking forward to it!! we havent both worked full time at the same time since i was 5-7months pregnant so this will be fun, not!!!
Hi Leash, congratulations on your new job! Well done!
I'm not full-time but I'm close to it, I'm on an 80% load and work four days a week. I am a teacher so I often have lesson preparation and marking to do at home as well. But I do get holidays which are absolute life savers, I would be a burnt out shell of a person if I wasn't able to recharge during those times. My DH also works full-time and is away for days at a time (for work) every now and again. I am also a bit of a neat/clean freak so when the house gets messy and dirty, I get extremely anxious (which is just not pleasant for anyone).
So yes, my relationship with my DH does suffer, as does my sleep, I am rarely in bed before 11pm and it's usually more like midnight. I guess we just cherish our weekends, that's when we all reconnect and recharge. But I love my life, it's really busy but I wouldn't have it any other way. I think that's a huge part of it for me, I have chosen this, it's what I want to do and I love it, so we just make it work. If it's not working for you, you can always change. I know that's easy to say and hard to do but I think there is a sense of comfort and satisfaction when you feel you have made a decision and not been forced into a situation.
Leash, I don't know how to answer the time question, but just wanted to say that I think you're going to absolutely love your job!! I absolutely adored when I was working with the toddlers! It's such a great age to be with you will get the hugs and kisses from them unlike in the preschool room, but can also 'do' alot with them, its not just all go go go like it is in a baby room!!
I've been working full-time since the end of January.
I'm a teacher, so I'm generally out the door by 7:45am and DH usually picks me up at 3:30pm.
Family time - Sam is still having an afternoon sleep most days, and that usually means Sam snuggling up to mummy and the two of us chilling out listening to music while I rock him to sleep. I combine my post-work chill out and relax time with getting Sam to sleep most afternoons and that works for us. Evenings will usually be taken up with dinner, play-time, bath, bottle and then bed. Sam has an unusually late bed time (9pm) so we do get lots of family time still.
Couple time... This is one area where things are suffering. We usually watch a bit of TV after Sam has gone to bed, or chat for a while, but there isn't a whole lot of couple time at all. Our sex life is virtually non-existant, and while I'm fine with that, I know DH is not - but we've always had long droughts in our marriage - partly to do with my health issues.
We recharge on the weekends. DH lets me have a massive sleep-in on Saturday mornings and will often have an afternoon sleep with Sam to help himself catch up on sleep. We always have family time on the weekends - church and usually just going out for lunch on at least one of the days while we tackle the grocery shopping or similar.
Me time... This is one area where I'm really suffering and I'm just hanging out for school holidays to get here so I can get some me time.
I find I have to be really disciplined and make sure all my marking and prep work gets done at school because it's mostly not possibly to do it while Sam is awake. I have managed a few times where the back-log has built up and I've just had to bring stuff home to catch up.
I think the one thing that really stands out in all of this is that the only way I cope at all is because DH is a stay at home dad four days per week and he takes care of the vast majority of housework and cooking. But I do have the added complication of health issues to juggle in the whole lot as well. I know that I personally couldn't fit in study - but I guess if you have a job where the our of hours marking and preparation isn't happening then the study could fit in there. If you aren't saddled with health issues that mean early nights are essential then you'll probably be ok.
I don't think relying on a stay at home parent is taking advantage - I think it's simply sharing the load.
) BUT I think you should give yourself a bedtime. When I was still working outside the home I made sure come 11pm I was in bed. I'm lucky that I do ok with late nights. Its early starts that kill me LOL.
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