Ok, Apart from the study part, I know what you mean with working full-time and trying to balance family. It is great that Shell is staying at home so hopefully that will make things easier on you. I work full-time and so does my husband so I'm trying to balance work, family time and keeping the house in order. I don't have dinner waiting for me when I get home because as soon as I get home I have to cook it and don't get time to sit down until after DD goes to bed and I've done some housework - so I get home from work at about 5:30 and then it's go go go until about 8:30.
I find the trick to "balance" is spending quality time as a family because you can't spend quantity time. On weekends I try to make sure I spend a bit of time sitting down and playing with my daughter who is 2. We might do a puzzle together or read a story or something like that. Now that she's getting older she likes to "help" with the housework or cooking dinner so I try to find things that she can "help" with and that's another way we spend quality time together.
As hard as it might be, I think it's important to put work out of your mind before you walk in the door and not let it get in the way of spending time with your daughter - no matter what sort of day you've had.
The other thing is making sure you make time to do something that's just for you so that you can be a better partner and mother. That might mean once a week having a bubble bath once your daughter is in bed, or reading a book, or going out for a coffee with a friend, because you need space to rejuvinate yourself so you can keep going.
I work full time in a very demanding job, have two kids on my own (except for 48hrs a fortnight) and live by myself.
I honestly don't know where I would fit "partner/couple" time in at the moment, except for those 48hrs a fortnight. My routine is very strict - I do housework on set days and times, mostly after the kids go to bed until 8:30, then a little "me" time until usually about 9:30pm, then work-work (as opposed to house-work) until the work-work is done. Sometimes that's 2am, sometimes it's not at all.
I have a "flexible" bedtime, because it depends how much work-work I need to do. However I always get up at 6:30am during the week, because I empty dishwasher/put washing on line/get lunches/start kid-getting-up-routine and have a shower all before 7:45am when I have to leave with the kids...
I tend to catch up on sleep on the 48hrs I have "off" each fortnight.
Sometimes I don't know where I'd fit it all in... I'd probably have "couple" time in the hour of me-time I have between 8:30pm (kids in bed at 7:30pm, housework until 8:30pm) and 9:30pm when I usually start work-work. But that would probably depend on how much me-time I needed!
It's a difficult balance, Leasha, and I wish you all the best in working it out.
I work full-time as a supervisor to 10 staff, just starting a double Diploma and DH is a SAHD. I'm also on call for work (if the security system goes off - I get called to go in and check it out - 24/7).
I don't have a plan - we split the cooking about 50/50 (DH also has his own business to run - part time) and the only 'me' time I get is surfing the net for an hour or so while DH gets DS to sleep (after bath). That's my BellyBelly and FB time (and at the moment - it's my Nappy Hunt time! )
Bedtime is usually more like midnight (10.30 is an early night!) and the only thing DH and I do together is watch TV/DVD's and go for the occassional walk.
I make sure I spend quality time with DS on the weekends - and it's Mummy's job to do the bath stuff - so I get a good 1/2 hour with him playing then *every night*.
I also do all the washing (by choice) and we're in cloth - so there's a lot!
Lucky for me I don't have any hobbies or anything (except reading the occasional crime book! - eats into the sleep time), but I manage ok.
As long as you leave work at work and home at home - ya just manage! Good luck!
While I'm a SHAM now, it is only a recent development.
DH is a shift worker, so the load was mine. Because I was working regular hours a routine was easiest. On the OT/weird hour days you just do your best.
Like Divvy I had a fairly strict routine. I also reassessed what needed to be done as opposed to the perfectionist view of what should be done.
With DH the fulltime worker now he does bathtime with the kids when he is here, that gives me time to cook dinner/cleanup/spend some time on the lappy.
I preferred to get up a bit earlier to do a few jobs than stay up late (funny how that is totally the opposite now). The gym was my time. At night DH and I sit together. We might be doing separate things (like me sewing or crafting or surfing the net and him on the PS3 or watching telly), but we're together. Sometimes we don't even talk lol. We've had many chats in the wee hours of the morning, but they're the ones we treasure - that's what works for us.
I'm really glad you got your job babe. I know it's something you're worried about, but don't stress to much. It has a way of working out. You will also appreciate Shell much more because you already know what it's like to SAH, so it's not taking advantage.
I find it's a case of trying different stuff until you find what works.
If I don't spend time with Pip immediately he sees me - and I mean playing / interacting with him - then he spends the whole night "mum. mum. mum". so I either sneak in and have 15 mins of "me" time of silence then go down or just suck it up and take the time immediately.
I also take a walk with him each day after tea, just he, I and my dog for us to have fun, and to give DH some time out after dealing with him all day - this really helps all 3 of us.
Housework - still haven't worked that out yet!
Cooking - Shared. Lots of easy meals on my part.
Communication is key, letting DH know when I'll be home, does he want me to pick up anything on the way etc.
Oh - and take your lunch break! Take that 30, 45 or 60 minutes to leave work, sit down in another spot and be alone!!!! Think! Relax! Enjoy it!
Both my DH and I work full-time. I've been back at work full-time since May last year. And honestly, it is pretty hard. The housework suffers for sure. I don't sweep or mop the floors or clean the bathrooms quite as often as I should be But you have an advantage over me there with Shel being at home.
When I get home from work at 5.30 it's all about Miss Charli until she goes to bed at 8pm. She is my priority for sure.Then it's time to do a few things and then I am buggered and quite often I'm off to bed by 9.30 and DH stays up watching the TV til midnight so I guess you could say we don't have that much relationship time.
As for cooking because we both work we share that task.
You and your little family will get into a groove that suits you
We both work FT and i find that the housework suffers big time! Because i am a teacher I have work to do at home so even though my hours are great there is still work after hours.
I find we spend 1/2 a day on a weekend trying to get the house into some kind of order and I really need to recharge in the school holidays.
I think it would be much easier if there was someone at home to clean and cook since DH and I are both tired and so no-one does it!
You will love working but it does take time to adjust.
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Good luck!
But you have an advantage over me there with Shel being at home.
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