Hi everyone – thanks so much for all of your advice. I think I just got a little overwhelmed with it all. But I am still in awe of people that can go back to work while still looking after their babies, particularly when they are younger than my own. However I have written a list for myself of all the things I have to do, and I was surprised how much I have got done so far.
Inlove – I’d love any tips on how you manage! And you are right – DS will change so much between now and January
Meow – I actually asked my friends that did return after 6 weeks. One was on shift work and alternating care with her husband – the other was going through major relationship hassles and eventually became a single mum so she had no choice in the matter. I spoke to both over the weekend and they said I was being too hard on myself, as well as telling me that they only did what they had to do to survive. One also said that comparisons aren’t always helpful, because mine is a different situation.
Tanstar – thats really great advice. I think thats what the problem has been as well – trying to live up to this ideal of living up to giving 100% to everything.
Nai – thats good advice too, particularly about stressing out.
CheezelMonster – some good advice as well. I think the biggest issue at the moment is that he will sleep through some nights and not others, which throws my sleeping pattern out too. In the last few months DH has had surgery in his lower abdomen which meant (and still means) he had difficulty lifting things, particularly for the 6 weeks after the procedure. Now he is going through chemo (1 week on 3 weeks off for 6 cycles) which means that he is tired and nauseous – although he is still going to work on the week of the chemo. Its just a hard time - and I freaked when I thought I have to go back to work shortly.
Last edited by Caramello; November 7th, 2010 at 07:42 PM.
Okay, i am back. I went back at six months after my first and four months after my second out of financial neccessity.
The first tip is like the other have said you will have to accept that there are some things that you just wont have time to clean. I have a cleaner who comes once a fortnight to help out and if i do things in between times thats good but if i dont then its just too bad. Anyone that comes to my house know i am a busy mum and they just have to accept that my house is always messy!! If they are a true friend then they wont care!!
Tip number two, meal planning, i plan our meals at the start of the week, i have a mixture of meals some for when i wont have much time to cook some more elaborate things for the weekend and some meals that i can just do int he oven so i dont have to worry about defrosting the night before.
Tip number three our priority is the kids so they come before everything except for our half our walk just after tea we go for that no matter what so that we get some excercise. One of us is usually with the kids at night playing and the other is getting tea etc. Dishes that cant go in the dishwasher get done at night, my DH does them once i am ready to go to sleep as he gets up a little bit later than me in the morning (he sleeps in my 3 year olds room as she is a difficult sleeper so he waits till i am ready to go to sleep and then goes out and does them before he goes to bed) We structure our day around the kids needs it makes our lives easier and makes for a happier more peaceful home
In the early days i got as much help from family and friends as possible and we didn't do much on my days off just the routine things like shopping etc to stop me from getting too exhausted,
It must seem overwhelming at the moment but the time will fly once you get back to work my DH and i frequently remind each other that in the big scheme of things this time is such a small portion of our lives it seems to make us feel a little bit better.
In terms of getting more sleep i cant help much there my 3 year old still wakes over night, luckily my DH deals with that, when i went back to work after DD2 i was getting up to feed twice a night, i dont know how i did it but i just did, i suppose i knew i had no choice so i just had to get on with it! Now some nights she sleeps through and some nights she wakes once so it is much easier. My only tip would be to get as much sleep as you can even if it means napping during the day!!
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate atm so i would put work to the side and worry about that later. I hope that things with your DH improve soon. You must be very worried.
Take care of yourself
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