How do parents manage a balance between work, home and raising their children?

[peanutter]

hi there,

it can be done

I went back to work when DS was 9 weeks old, and I am not a supermum. DH is a SAHD so I'm not sure what your arrangements will be for childcare ...

But I get up at 5.50am, get ready for work, bf DS around 6.15 and then DH drives me (with DS) to the train. I often nap on the train (it's an hour) or I read or pray or meditate or listen to music... something just for me though, I try not to read stuff for work, or baby books, etc. Just something that feeds me, iykwim.

I get to work around 7.45, get coffee, eat (I keep my breakfast supplies at work) and start work.

I express at work around 11am and 3pm.

I try to leave at 5pm, and am almost always out the door and on a train by 6pm.

I get home between 6 and 7pm, and jump in the bath with DS (which I find much easier than bathing him in the baby bath). DH dries and dresses DS while I finish washing myself, then we have a snuggly feed and a book, and then DH puts DS to bed.

DH or I make dinner, depending on who is less stuffed ... and then we spend time together (or do our own thing) and then I express before bed.

It's pretty full on, and would be much harder if DH wasn't such a gem - but he's a full time dad and is studying full time by correspondence, and is looking for a bit of work he can do from home too. It's busy all round.

But if the floor needs vacuuming, or the lawn needs mowing, sometimes it's just too bad, you know?

Sometimes it's easier for me to do 5 loads of washing on Saturday, than for DH and me to try to do them during the week.

And I'll make some mega meals (slow cooker casserole with rice, roasting tray full of tuna bake, simple things) and freeze them into lunch size plastic tubs so DH and I don't have to spend any time preparing lunches (and can use them as dinners, too) which saves time and stress during the week ...

And we make sure we get out to birthday gigs, parties with friends, etc. Sometimes we take DS, sometimes we leave him with a bottle of EBM with family ... sometimes we just host, so we don't have to organise a babysitter. But getting out with friends reminds us that we're humans and are allowed to do thiongs just because we want to!!

If we could afford it, we'd get a cleaner and a gardener in once a fortnight, just to keep things better so we'd have a bit more time to relax on the weekend, but it's not on the cards at the mo ...

Any specific Qs, I'm more than happy to answer if it would help

But it can be done

[Fleur]

I remember freaking out about kind of the same thing while I was PG.. I couldn't fathom how I was supposed to get out of the house on time each morning when I was struggling as it was (with the three older kids). And I asked my boss for advice - she has 4 kids - and she said 'you just do it. you do what you have to do' And I thought 'pftt, that's not very helpful'... but as it turns out, it is exactly the truth

I went back when Pie was 9 weeks old but that was only one day a week. I think that helped... I kind of eased back into it, after a few weeks it was 2 days, then a month or two later it was three, then 4 (now I'm back to 2 for a while).

getting everything done... well, I don't! The housework definitely suffered, and if I end up back 4 days again after Christmas we will look at getting someone in to do the bathrooms once a week. We have a great repertoire now of quick & easy meals... and as for getting out of the house in the morning, I don't know how! but we managed fine. The best thing for me is to be really organised the night before - I get Pie's lunch, clothes etc ready, bag packed. I am usually up between 5 & 5:30 and aim to be out the door at 7:30 although it's usually more like 8.

Bottom line is, I found it much easier when I was actually doing it.
And I don't think you have to worry too much about trying to prepare yourself now KWIM? Just do what you have to now, then do what you have to later. Be gentle with yourself.
Best of luck

[MantaRay]

Synch, it does take some adjusting, but once you get a routine going it is do-able. One thing to consider is that there is a big difference between a 15 week old and a baby 2 months older. By then your DS will be in a different rhythm and you will also be in a different place. I'll be honest, it probably won't be easy at first, but you are a strong, capable person and are pretty good at adapting.

I think the biggest key is planning. If you are not a "do things the night before" sort of person, this might be the time to start. The less you have to do before getting out the door in the morning the better. And it helps to have a plan for how (when) dinners will be cooked, when the best time to buy groceries is etc. Also it can be a difficult time for relationships, so having it worked out with your DH in advance about who does what is a good idea too.

I know things are difficult for you right now hun, but don't stress too much that practising isn't going the way you'd hoped. It will work out when you are doing it for real

[ladybird11]

Um, the words 'juggling act' jump to mind .

I'm big on time management and preparation in advance. So if the kids are in child care the next day - their bags are packed and ready to go the night before as are their clothes laid out too.
DH is a massive help, he does (if not more) cleaning than I do around the house, as he's the shift worker of us. So team work is a huge thing with us - we work well together.