Parenting, work and gender - who takes the day off?

[Astrid]

DH is the main breadwinner and works full-time, his work also has the greater possibility of progression and the associated $$$.
I work part-time, school hours. I was hired with them knowing I am a parent and the owner had the expectation the role would suit someone like myself.

Even with that arrangement we share the load with sick kids. Often we decide on who can afford to be away from work (no appointments and other commitments). Also on which one of us may be also not feeling 100%. We find winter, if one of the kids has a bad cold, then one of us has as well, or could do with a rest day.
DH's work likes to promote themselves a family friendly, so they are OK with dad's having time off. Well to clarify, the business is ok, but his direct supervisor is not (middle-aged woman, no kids and cannot understand why I don't take all the time off )

I do find though, that other appointments fall on me to organise and take the kids to. DH is fine with the GP visit when they are sick, but dentist, optical, any other concerns, he just expects me to do. Now I snap back, that is he has a concern about the kids that needs an appointment, he is welcome to arrange it.

It is frustrating the assumption that the female is always the care giver and that any time taken off for kids is grumbled about. Yes, I have to leave on time due to children, but when I was studying part-time of an evening, I also had to leave on time. Also before kids, I had other things I wanted to do outside of work, which meant I also took time off (annual leave) and left on time. Women get bagged for taking Maternity leave, but I have worked in environments where if a male decided to take extended leave or even resign (only to return) for an overseas holiday for the same length of time, it was deemed a great thing and celebrated!
I point out at work now, that everyone has commitments of some kind and just because I have children/work part-time does not mean I let down the business. For example one of our staff is a big local footballer, around grand final time if his team is playing we are lucky to see him in the office at all!

[Trillian]

And that right there sums up the patriarchy :/

It wasn't an issue when I wasn't working (naturally because I was home all the time anyway) but now we are both working it's usually DH that takes the day off if need be because his work is more flexible like that than mine so we work it out as it happens. As a teacher they need to arrange a casual to come in and cover me, but with DH, there are more than enough men on crew to cover his work. I do work at the school where our youngest 3 go so if they got sick when I was working I know they would be right in sick bay or if they were really bad I have someone I can call to get them. Dh works out of town so if it was a sudden thing it would be harder for him to arrange it, but if we knew a kid was sick it is easier. He also works a 4on-4off roster so he technically only works 6 months of the year anyway.