Parenting, work and gender - who takes the day off?

[wysiwyg]

Book is from the US, published 2011.

Working conditions in the US are quite different from here (lack of - statutory holiday entitlements, parental leave, sick/carers leave etc.) and I think these things do have a big impact on peoples views and perceptions.

[Nai]

If dp is home he does it but if he is at work then I do, purely because I can generally get away more easily and I have very generous leave provisions. Sometimes, if I have interviews booked or can't get out of a meeting dp will stay then we will tag team it. It really depends on the day and the situation.

[peanutter]

Working conditions in the US are quite different from here (lack of - statutory holiday entitlements, parental leave, sick/carers leave etc.) and I think these things do have a big impact on peoples views and perceptions.

I get that, but IMHO the fact remains that there is this prevalent undercurrent in the interviews included that anything under the "family" banner is the woman's job, and she's getting indulgences, taking liberties, etc. I don't understand why it's being painted (through the interviews, not by you) as a gendered issue.

Now there are some absolute realities that if someone is working from home, whether or not they're doing just as much of the core work they'd be doing at work, it's different, and it often creates more work for the people at the office.

But I don't see this as being a gender issue - it's a balancing work/family life issue - and why is there the expectation that it will be the woman who will do all the bending and asking and massaging to make it work? It's a family decision.

That seems to be the resounding feedback from others here - that you as a family have assessed what will work for you. It's not these shapeless nameless men in the workforce deeming that the kids are your job and whatever you can do around that is gravy, so be grateful.

I've got a friend who works in an office where they have some principals who work part time and lecture part time, and my friend (and I gather some of her colleagues) hate it - whether it's a man or a woman - and they have some admin staff who work part time (all women, as all the admin staff there are women) and they despise that too. Because no matter how much work, dictation, typing, appointment booking etc the part timers get done from home, no matter how much they do outside of hours to make sure their performance is still up to the expectation required (and from what I understand, they do a LOT of extra hours, to make sure they're on top of their work - there's no criticism of that at all) the fact is that those people aren't available for presentations, client interviews, team meetings (I think they tried skype, but after a poo-splosions and a tantrum it was decided it wasn't conducive to ... anything ...), answering the phone, doing the mail, deliveries, and heaps of other stuff. So I hear - and understand - the gripes about flexible working hours, working from home, etc. And from what I can see, it creates resentment on both sides.

I don't know what he solution is.

But I do know that it makes me mad to see it painted as a women's issue (or *breathe, breathe*) a "Womens' Lib Issue".

Because I still see the need for flexible hours, time off to take the kids to the Dr, time off for school interviews or school holidays or whatever else as being a need the family - not simply the mother - has. In the same way as if you have a two parent household, and both parents are working, the cooking cleaning shopping etc remains a two person responsibility.