Oh I can totally sympathise - its my easy is it? I've been working 4 days a week (so not quite full time), since DD was 6 months old, and I spent the last semester studying. I will admit, I have plenty of times where I just feel so guilty, but at other times it doesn't seem so bad....DD loves childcare and I do enjoy my work - it doesn't mean that I don't wish I was spending more time with her though.
As for the staying on top of things tips. These are some things we did:
1. On Saturday and Sunday nights we would cook what we call 'two nighters', meaning we had a couple of nights dinner for the week already pre-prepared. The slowcooker with another one or two nighter during the week is also handy.
2. I'd try and do a load of washing at least a couple of times during the week so there wasn't as much to do on the weekends
3. On a good note, the house doesn't get as dirty during the weeks as you are barely ever there! On the weekends DH and I would just try to get stuck into the housework to get it done. My house rarely looks as good as I'd wish, but it's liveable and occasionally we will do a mega clean.
No real answers to your questions - but you are not alone. We are trying to come to a similar decision - because I can't seem to get part-time work.
The thought of trying to get two to daycare and then to work 5 days a week terrifies me. I hate feeling torn more than anything, and know I would find the pull of work and the pull of the children difficult.
I did work fulltime once before when only had DD and hated it so I also have that barrier to overcome. I am not sure what others do - I don't know anyone who works full-time and has children in CC full-time (most if work fulltime have grandparents take on some of the daycare, which I can see really helping not only with the cost but I know I would feel less "guilty" if we did that and also would be easier as I wouldn't have to get them to childcare they could come here and they could also continue doing some of the stuff they already do with friends just with my mum instead - we would need to ship her over from UK and find her somewhere to live too, to do it).
Also based on my calculations I wouldn't actually earn any more working 5 days a week to 3 (due to the cap on the CCR) so the only benefit would be that could actually get a job in the first place.
In the situation you describe - I would focus on all the things you mention and make sure you have a budget so you can really 'see' the benefits of the extra money. Maybe what you are doing will also help you in the future be more around when the girls are at school in terms of being there after school etc - so you 'lose' a bit now but 'gain' later on IYKWIM.
I work 4 days per week and there are times where I do not feel like I am coping as well as I should.
Essentially I try to simplify things. I limit the extra activities for the children, so they have 1 thing each. Earlier this year DH had DD1 enrolled in twice a week martial arts and it just about wrecked me, so I pulled her out the moment the contract was up.
I limit my activities, whilst it sounds great to be doing yoga, meditation etc, the stress involved in getting there, making sure DH was around to look after the kids, the loss of time at home to do things or just plain rest, was not worth the benefit.
I insist on have a home day once a week, a day where we go no where. We live just out of town, so just a quick trip means at least an hour of the day gone. I find those days beneficial, I just take me time doing what needs to be done in between doing those things that I need to do.
I don't tend to feel guilt these days, as I feel the girls having a roof over their head, good food on the table, being able to not miss out on school trips etc, is important. We would struggle to provide those things if I was not working in some capacity. Plus the stress of lack of money for me is worse than the stress of trying to do so much.
Check out the book "A pressure cooker saved me life". Written by an Aus news-presenter, who did try to do it all till her body told her to stop. She had various tips in there for coping (some are good, some not so) , along with some history of house keeping (very interesting), lots of pressure cooking info (great, as I don't have time for slow cooker prep of a morning). Really, just reading her story I found beneficial.
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