Oh Jodi It is really hard going back to work when it's not by choice.
I really don't know where to start, I'll try to share my experience without writing a novel. Firstly, in many ways the thought of leaving the boys was worse than the actual doing. I am lucky that my boys thrive at day care (they go 3 days a week and are looked after by my PIL 2 days a week). They both love it, so that makes it much easier. And I have seen how much they have gained from day care, they are happy there, stimulated, learning so much and their social and communication skills seem to improve every week. So that is enough to stop me feeling too guilty.
With regard to yourself, physically it's exhausting (especially at first). Emotionally ever more so I think, although that definitely improves too. One key is to be super organised. To do a day's work, pick kids up and have dinner ready and kids bathed by a decent hour is pretty tough. I am lucky that my ILs cook 2 nights a week when they are here with the boys. On the 3 day care nights we mostly have left overs (so I have to plan in advance - I do a weekly menu up at the start of each week), or we save the quick and easy to cook meals for those nights. Day care (and work) lunches are made up the night before. I have set washing nights and put a load on as soon as I get home so I'm not up hanging clothes at midnight. My MIL helps with cleaning, if you have no other help get a cleaner. It will make a huge difference.
Which leads to me to the other key - you need to make sure you look after yourself and find some "me-time". This is tricky as a ft working mum, but it can be done. I have managed to fit Pilates in at lunch time twice a week (luckily they are next door to work), and I now do things on weekends or in the evenings sometimes. I used to not ever go out without the boys unless it was a really special occasion because I hated missing time with them when I was missing them during the week days as well. But after a year, I am starting to get out more and we are all better off for it. And DH and I are going out together once a month or so now as well which is also making a huge difference. "US" time for you and your DH is really important too.
Ok, just about a novel, so I'll stop there unless I think of something else really important. In the meantime, feel free to ask more questions. You will manage hun, and it might not be as bad as you think. GL.
Thank you for replying MR, I was hoping you would.
I currently have both girls in daycare 2 days a week, and I'll slowly be increasing it until I start work, which is hopefully in a month's time.
Nina absolutely loves daycare, and so far Emily hasn't had any issues. She's been going for 3 weeks now.
I am generally an organised person, but I worry how I'll do dinner, bath, bed, washing etc all in a couple of hours a day. So thanks for those tips.
Oh yeah, one more tip - we have been known to skip the bath on day care nights if it's late and/or the boys are tired. Unless they are covered in sand (which they often are), I think it's ok to miss the bath. They usually will go in the shower with us in the morning if they haven't had a bath the night before, but even if you didn't do that I don't think it would matter for one day.
I don't know what your work hours are like, but how do the boys go with being at daycare all day, 3 days a week? Are they completed buggared and hard to get up the next day, or are they ok? And do you put them to bed earlier on daycare nights?
DS2 is tired by 5pm every day - day care or not. Even with a 2 - 4 hour sleep during the day LOL! But he manages to get through bath and dinner usually and then goes straight down after dinner/bath (whichever is last, depends on the day). DS1 is mixed, sometimes he is tired and goes straight down, some nights he stays up a bit. Generally I try to have DS1 down by 7:45pm on the day care nights and DS2 by 7:15. That is normal time anyway, but if there is no day care in the morning and the boys seem ok, sometimes they do stay up later.
Generally they wake around 6am every morning, which is the time we get up for work, so it's not hard to get them up. But we have had some mornings when we've had to wake one of them, which is not good as neither do well when woken up before they are ready!! Lucky these mornings are few and far between. I think it was more of a problem when DS1 was younger, I remember having to wake him more often before we had DS2.
We are even really, really lucky about twice a year, and they both sleep till 7 or 8am on a Sunday morning!
See that's my problem. Nina isn't a morning person, her usual wake up time is around 8am. Anything earlier is unusual for her, regardless of what time she went down the night before.
Emily is usually in bed by 6pm at the very latest, but I'm sure as she gets older that'll change.
It is an adjustment for everyone at first. You will certainly find the first weeks the hardest. Hopefully though as they get used to it, they will start sleeping and waking at the "right" times. Nina might adjust by going to bed earlier (if you can manage it), or she might sleep longer during her day sleep. I know that when I went back to work the first time, with just DS1, I used to really worry that he wasn't getting enough sleep. And probably back then he wasn't. But now I would say the boys both get enough sleep.
I guess the thing is, you try it and see what happens. If there is a particular thing that isn't working - one of them is too tired in the evening, or one needs to be woken up each morning - then you look at that one problem and see if there is anything you can do differently to help. We have certainly got better at this as we've gone along.
It is really hard going back to work when it's not by choice.
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