Be a woman. Don't try to be a man.

[Rouge]

Ahhhhhh ok. Well I think that can be a play on words too. Complimentary to me can be said either way. Anyone can stand alone in their skill set regardless of gender. I'm more talking about how women see themselves in an environment where they feel they need to change who they are in order to be seen as an equal. And sometimes that can be women alongside women too.

[little_O]

I understand what you mean Sushee. I agree with Rouge, i mean complementary in the sense that a man complements us too. As in everyone’s skills together works for the greater good.

The saying "no man is an island" applies to both sexes. I think you are right in what you say about a man being viewed as fine without a woman but not the other way round. Im of the opinion we all need someone. In the work place its hard to kick at it by yourself, but if you have a supportive team we can all do wonders. Everyone needs to be appreciated for their uniqueness and abilities.

I work in a male dominated field too (well prior to children ) and it drives me nuts being spoken down to and the assumptions that i wouldnt know what i was talking about. This was even in university prior to working! However, in the end my skills spoke for themselves, and my human touch and people interaction was something that the he-men could never do. In the end they have to respect you for your skills or they look like the idiots . That being said there some other aspects that i would need to ask them about. In the end working together the results were way better, without me having to man up or them get in touch with their feminine side!

[sushee]

And this is because in most cases, a man who is in senior management will assume that another man will have the skills to do the job. A woman has an unknown quality about her (to a man) that poses a risk. So he will hire a man over a woman. Or he will hire a woman who behaves like a man as a second choice. So that woman who behaves like a man gets hired, and so what she teaches the women she mentors is that to get ahead, THEY have to behave like men. And so the vicious cycle continues. I've had ringside seats all my working life.

It takes women who get into senior positions to change their mindset, because it starts with them. They should put value on the skills of the women under them and promote that. That's the missing piece at the moment. And the conversation that needs to keep taking place so it does eventually change. Which is why I'm so glad you posted this.