Printable View
Thanks sarah, I was being a little bit over dramatic with my statement about not waking up, as I would NEVER really want that to happen, not in a million years because I know how much my DH and my boys would miss their mum, and all kids need their mums.
Sharon, be gentle on yourself. I had PND after my first child. I researched the pants off it, as you can imagine. They can't find anything wrong with the brain chemistry of a woman with PND, and many self-respecting psychologists therefore don't agree medication is appropriate... since medication alters brain chemistry.
Not that you have it, but I'm sure it's gone through your mind so I wanted to mention that.
They can only guess the causes, but a little logic can be very telling. Apply some logic to this: When women in certain other cultures that never suffer PND move to America or another industrialised society, their incidence of PND skyrockets. When we study their life in their native country, we find one outstanding difference - support. A female community. They all live daily life in the emotional embrace of other women also raising children. It is very nourishing.
It can be hormonal but mostly, it is emotional. We have very good reason to feel down when we have children under the circumstances we have them today. For all our progress, we've isolated ourselves. "Clinical Depression" is feeling down for no reason. However, we ALL have reason, as our biology is fighting our reality. So it isn't depression, it is a natural reaction to a situation beyond our control.
We often can't replicate the community factor, but we DO need to acknowledge our need for women at this time in our lives, our need for support and community, so we don't feel we are doing it all alone. It is hard to give up our lives and completely dedicate it to other people, and this can all hit us with a first child or the tenth, there aren't rules. Aside from joining a commune ;) is there anything you can do in your life to remedy this? Even if it doesn't feel like it, it just feels like "emptiness" or what is often described as a doomy black pit in the soul, trust me, it is amazing what this action can remedy. I got together with the only other friend I had with a child and we did things together. Play groups are not the same, they are once a week with people you hardly know. catching up with a friend now and again isn't gonna do it either. Form a solid bond with another mother and spend quantity time with her doing boring daily activities. I also went to a retreat and tapped into my joy again but that's another story, a long one.
I say that because meds are the only thing a medic will offer you if you see one and say you feel low after childbirth. I didn't take meds, and I came around after a few personal experiences that changed things for me. The other thing is I had naturopathy on my side, as I had studied it. I was able to formulate a hormone herbal and I started supplementing also.
I HIGHLY recommend zinc . I had posted about it before but maybe it was in the pregnancy threads way back. Research has shown zinc deficiency causes uncontrollable crying in babies and mothers. Zinc is leached from the body and dumped into the placenta towards the end of pregnancy. The way we birth these days means the full blood transfusion is not given to the baby as the cord is clamped instead of waiting for it to stop pulsing. All that zinc is taken from the mother, and then not even given to the baby. Most mammals take a big bite of placenta or eat it all except us, so we miss out on all those hormones and nutrients. We start motherhood totally deficient. I can give you a list of herbs to have made as a herbal tincture by a health food shop near you. Or you can gently start by supplementing with liquid zinc (powdered and made into liquid is fine) and taking things like raspberry leaf and nettle tea again.
Gotta fly at the mo...
Sharon: I ment it in the way all you want to do is lye in bed all day and watch TV. Have a ME day instead of an everyone else day.
Oh, and this is the place to be over dramatic some times. It just make us all feel better if we over react sometimes.
Cheers
hay girls, what are you using to wash your bubs and bubs stuff. Russell skin is getting really dry and peeling and i think its reacting to the washing powder as he getting a slight raised rash around the cuffs of his clothes on his arms and back. was using curash baby soap every 2nd bath.
zennie i use nothing at all - just water. and i don't even bath dd every night, because sometimes she's asleep when ds has his bath and then she misses out. if your baby's a bit prone to eczema or peeling skin, why don't you try not using soap and reducing bathing (you could 'top and tail' him with a cloth every second day). and maybe change washing powders too and see if that helps. there are also all sorts of soap-free body washes you can buy, like the QV range or various plant-based ones.
sharon :hug: and good luck for your talk with ds. maybe you should try some counselling, it might really help you get on top of things emotionally. in the meantime be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time.
sarah i hope you're enjoying your new clothes. i can't wait to go out and get my hair cut and get something new to wear - i know it will give me a boost. i'm kind of hoping to get rid of some tummy first, because like you and grubi i still have a way to go! if only i had the time to get to gym...
beatrix i'd love a maid too. i sometimes tell dh he should get a second wife, one who loves to clean and enjoys looking after children! ;)
i've had many 'not coping' days this week and have been feeling teary and exhausted. we're all sick, dd is constantly congested and coughing, and all the people i had lined up to help me out have cancelled one by one due to various illnesses (SO inconsiderate - can't they schedule their sick days for different weeks?!).
LAMO... You poor thing. we were all sick last week, but some how I managed. DH was dying as all men are when they are sick. Kicked him out to cough to die out there not in lovely clean bed. I felt human again today with some nice tops on. I'd even go as far to say YUMMY, if I say so my self... LOL:
*I even painte my nails today. They look very SHINNY...
I took Wyatt to a Massage class for babies today. And well he didn't mind it until we go to rubbing his bum. That part he got argo at, so we moved onto the tubby thighs.
hope all are well. As you might have guess both my boys are sleeping at moment. WOOOHHHOOOO....
Grubi - I completely understand about the real life thing. It's a shame we have to be so secretive isn't it? I've decided to just be myself and bare all on here as I don't know anyone else IRL who visits this site (except a friend I met through here!)
Having said that, I usually tone down anything I want to say about DH as he often reads the threads out of interest. Which I don't mind him doing, but it does kinda restrict how open I can be...
I'm now in the routine of having a shower at night and going to bed by 11 so that I'm up for the 6-7 am feed and stay up after that so DH can sleep in (he does the 1am & 4am feeds for me and goes to bed later)
We don't shower Liam every day either - usually every second day. And we only use water or occasionally some nice bathing stuff I got at my baby shower. We tried using the Johnstons baby bath stuff but he got a rash from that.
I'm sad to say the balance has tipped toward more formula than breast milk each day... he's still getting at least 2-3 bottles of breast milk every day, but I've noticed something interesting with this - he's hungrier much quicker if he's had EBM. He still feeds every 3 hours with the formula - but sometimes he's hungry after only 1.5 hrs after EBM! I'm still persisting as long as I can though!
Nessa - I reckon the Govt should provide a maid service for 6 months after a new baby, as well as the baby bonus!
Sharon, mgm & Sarah - :hug: I hope you're on top of things soon. Try to eat oats everyday - they have good anti-depressant properties. Try muesli, porridge, muesli bars or oat brits.... doesn't matter how you eat them! I found they were all I needed (as well as regular walks outside) to get myself out of depression a few years ago. Mind you - I didn't have a baby then!
BTW - I still have my tummy too. Tried to wear a pair of old tracky daks today that used to fit me before I was pregnant.... not a good idea. They were so uncomfortable and cut into my big flabby belly! Am about to re-arrange things so I can put my exercise equipment in the lounge so they're in my face all day - I might actually use them! Just some dumbells to do simple exercises - nothing major! I walk everyday, but it doesn't seem to be budging the weight! It might help if I ate properly, but figure I'll start my 'diet' when my milk dries up. :lol:
:grouphug: to everyone - hope we all have a fabulous weekend! I'm heading down to football (soccer) tomorrow while DH stays at home with Liam. Looking forward to the break but I'm sure I'll miss my little man terribly!! :doh:
Fire thank you, you are a wealth of knowledge, as usual, may try some Zinc.
sarah phew! wouldn't want anyone to think I was going to 'top myself' lol. as for being a yummy mummy, I think I was well on my way, but I have now taken to eating everything in sight, and that everything all seems to be bad for me, if i'm not careful I will put all my weight (and then some) back on.
Zennie I use the Johnsons bedtime bath, and I was his (and our) clothes in Omo Sensitive, but I have been told by a paediatrician that you don't need to use soap to clean babies. I do bath him everyday though as he really enjoys it.
mgm :hug: I know exactly how you feel, I think at this point in time if friends of mine called and cancelled anything that involved me I would be shattered, and would probably end up crying uncontrollably.
Nettie I tend to have my shower at night too, it is just easier, although on the days that I want one in the morning, if there is no one home to listen out for Oliver, or he is awake and we are the only ones home, I put him in his bouncer at the bathroom door so he can see me and he is fine.
Oliver had a check up today, and in 2 weeks he has put on 400g so he is now 6.5kg and grown 4cm which means he is 62cm, his HC has also increased another .5cm to 40.3cm so no wonder he finally outgrew the rest of his 000's so I officially listed all his outrgrown clothes on eBay today.
Oh, and we have had to change back to our 'Jane' pram (exactly the same as the Emuljungas only cheaper) as we where using the Jeep Liberty Limited 3 wheel jogger but he hated not being able to see me when we where out, he is now happier while we are out shopping/walking.
Oh, and I also forgot to add that I went and saw a friend the other day and her 1 day old little man, and she had the newer version of the Angel Care sound and movement monitor (it is a digital one) and it was fantastic, no static and you can set it up so that it only comes on when noise is detected in babies room, it also has built in thermometer that displays temp in babies room on the parents handset, the parents handset recharges when it is in its cradle, so when I told DH about it he told me to buy one, and it was fantastic getting a non-static interrupted sleep, would highly recommend this product.
I bath Ci in just water. Mostly it is a bath with me at night and a few drops of lavender oil, and about once a week he showers with daddy. We skip the occasional night but I was using it as a nighttime cue so we bathed regardless for a while there.
Regarding maids, did you know that Europe kicks a$$ in the post birth department? One of them has a $28000 baby bonus (and no, that extra zero was not a mistake), France has a maid for six weeks post partum... there are so many things we should get from our gov't since we're a socialist country basically. Oh well, one day when they realise the importance of the mother in the future of our nation. The movie Sicko is really good for health comparisons actually.
All you people going to bed so late, I envy you. I am still in bed at 7pm and may be for some time yet because he feeds every hour after midnight. I hear cosleeping breastfed babies do that until weaned and it freaks me out so I'm just taking it a day at a time at the moment so it doesn't do my head in.
Toni, apparently breast milk is digested in an hour, better on their bellies but not so good on mama! It was (here I go again :lol:) apparently designed by nature to keep mothers and babies together constantly, but I wish evolution would catch up cos the likelihood of DS being eaten by wild lions now is rather slim so we don't need all these built in bios anymore!
Seriously wishing I could change the all night feeding thing here, but unwilling at such a young age. I thought six months would be ok but apparently forcing anything onto them before a year is a no-go. I hear the No Cry Sleep Solution can be started at 9 months, but even that sounds so far away. Ugh. I haven't had a stretch of sleep longer than 3 hours in three months. Most of my sleep is in hourly chunks, I think I had a couple of three hour stretches total when he did a five hour stint a couple of times. But that's all pre-midnight. After that, the buffet is open, apparently.
Le sigh.
Fire :hug: to you, I would be in an even bigger mess if I wasn't getting a decent sleep at night, you poor thing, hope things get better for you soon.
Morning all,
Well today I was looking forward to heading out early this morning, drop DD and DS off at grannies and go scrappbooking. But now we arn't hearding off until about 10:30. So everyone is already Wyatt sleeping on shoulder bum on computer desk so I can use towo hands. Anyway I will have at least 6hrs without the other two kids. It's going to be so wonderful no fighting.
Have told DH he is taking DS with him to farm for the morning, and I will come and pick him up around 10-11am when ever Wyatt wakes up I want to get my house cleaned tomorrow. Everything has pilled up and would love to get my lawn mowed. That is main goal. Will put Wyatt down leave DD inside to watch TV and she can come and tell me when he wakes up. But normally my lawn only take about an hour front and back. So I should be right after his afternoon nap.
Fire: I no you don't argree with CC, but I am going to swear by it, Wyatt goes to bed around 8-8:30pm, and he used to wake up for a feed at 12 then at 4pm. But since last saturday he has been sleeping until 3-4:30 before he wants his boobie, and even then it's only a quick 5 mintue feed. He back in his bed and me too. So now I get a good 6-7hrs nights sleep it's wonderful.
Sharon19270: LMAO.... I know what you mean about the eating thing. I try and eat healthy but if I see cookies I have to eat them. I noticed after DS was born it was cheesecakes and with Wyatt it has been cookies and milk. (HUMMMMM)
Well I am off, go and spend some time with granny, before I dum and run from kids.
Cheers all. Have a good day...
Sarah
hi guys...just popping in...not much to report...
Bj's awake times are getting longer now and much more full of play...lots of kicking and talking and laughing etc (a big change from our upset little Zantac man, then upset little UTI man!).
He had a minor nervous breakdown at bed time tonight which I put down to him still being hungry (despite downing 180ml formula), then the time it took for him to drink the other 85 ml, made him overtired!
We are now wrapping with one arm out as he likes to suck his fist sometimes...still got the dummy, but pretty much only ever in bed now which is good.
Im trying to get over my addiction to teddy bear biscuits....ever since Benjamin was born, I've been eating a double pack a week....I can eat 5 or 6 in a sitting...its hideous!
Hi everyoone!!!
well its been a very quiet weekend at my house. The older girls are at their dads. I dropped them off on Friday night and will pick them up tomorrow night.
So nice to have a break but now i really miss them!!
On the plus side my sis and I went out to dinner last night, She treated me to the works. Had Chinese.. Prawn ****tails followed by steamed Dim Sims.. and chicken and sweetcorn soup. for the main I had steaming garlic combination seafood and then fried icecream...
MJ was such a angle while we were their, i was getting coments from the other people making jokes about where my naughty baby was cause she didnt even make a peep!! I was very proud mummy.
My only prob with MJ is she HATES the car seat with a passion, will scream most car trips. I cant do anything about it either as I need to go out.
Well the good news is we are still Breast feeding!!!! I am very proud.
Oh and Im going to the circus next weekend with my older two.. they should love it
Hi Beatrix,
Have you tried going back to the Chiro for MJ?
A friend of ours had the same problem with their daughter, and took her back to the chiro and it turned out that her neck was out.
After about 3 chiro appts (a couple of days apart), she spent her time gurgling happily in the car!! (Sometimes with Chiro, they fix one thing, then a day or 2 later something else shows up and then something else, it can take a series of adjustments to fix the actual problem!)
Also one thing I did with BJ from early on was to put a mirror where he can see himself (also means if I look in the rear view mirror, I can see what he's doing, and where his dummy is!)
Your dnner sounds beautiful!! I miss chinese food...we can't find anywhere good near us, and the best chinese I've eaten is in Geelong (an hour and a half away!) Im glad MJ was an Angel...we tend to be lucky (so far) with BJ, he tends to only have his nervous breakdowns at home!
Hey
Yeah we see a chiro regularly for MJ..
This chinese place is the one we have gone to for years and years!!! So very yummy
Janine- sounds like you're really doing it rough, kudos for sticking to what you believe is the right thing to do for your Ci. When I was having so much trouble bfing Lila I had heaps of people telling me it was ok to switch to formula, that she'd be alright etc etc. Of course she'd be "alright" and I'm not bagging out anyone who FF, but what I needed to hear was encouragement to keep going with what I felt was the right thing to do. And I did stick to it and it did get better. So stick with the bfing/cosleeping and don't change it if you feel that would be wrong. My auntie (who is like my mother) had three sons and they slept in their own beds but she still got up with them every hour of the early morning to feed until they were over a year old. So sticking him in his own bed away from you might not change things anyway. You'd just have to get out of your nice warm bed to go to him. Good for you. Ci is a lucky little man.
Beatrix- Its so good you got a little break and a nice dinner. :) I've been all about the dimsims since I got pregnant, never touched them before.
BW- I've been eating heaps of sweets since Lila was born, too. I try not to buy them when I'm out (can't afford them anyway) so I usually end up making a zucchini cake or some cookies or whatever. Its terrible.
Things are pretty good here, we went to an Indian wedding yesterday and she slept through all the crashing music and loud chanting. She slept through the hour and a half long ceremony and was wide-eyed and cute during the reception.
I'm kind of bummed though, I have heaps of student loans back in the states. You have to start repaying within a year of leaving uni (horrible, the system here is so much better) and my year is up. We're just getting by as it is, and besides DH shouldn't have to pay off my education. Bloody worthless degree in Political Science. So I'm starting to look around for part time work I can do. Probably receptionist/boring office work. If I'm lucky maybe some writing job. Sucks. I can't stand the thought of leaving Lila even for a few days a week.. Our family doesn't live close enough for me to drop her off at Granny's or my SIL's (who would LOVE to do it) so it looks like we'll have to put her in day care after DH's uni holidays are over. I hate it I hate it I hate it. :wall: At least I have a comparatively small amount to pay back, I had heaps of scholarships and grants. I know people with upwards of $100,000 in debts. Wretched.
Janine- addendum: I've read over and over again that nutritionally, a baby doesn't need to get up to feed in the middle of the night after 6 months. For me, I figured that if she wasn't sleeping through by 6-7 months that I'd get up with her to comfort her and re-settle but not feed her in the middle of the night. But who knows for sure right?
steph - KISS for you, thank you for your kind words :). i've heard that about 6 months, too. I figure I will night feed once or twice for a year as DD had a 11pm feed until almost exactly 1 year old (formula fed). But the cluster feeding - well, I'd love to curb that. I will work on it seriously after 6 months, I reckon. DH (American) has student loans too. He has ignored them for almost 15 years. Ehem. Oops. :o
thanks to all those for suggestions and back pats... i'm hanging in there and re evaluating at 4 months. i pick up the NCSS tomorrow also.
hey, re sugar cravings... count me in! I eat almost exclusively sugary stuff and carbs. I wonder if it relates to breast milk being high carb, low protein?
in good news, Ci did: 7pm, 11.30pm, 2.30am, 6am last night. definite feeds, too, not just comfort attachment.
Also happy to report the swelling above my c-scar has almost gone. I've slowed the weight loss, too, which I'm happy about. I was losing really fast there for a while, but Ci was a massive eater. He slowed down a little and I ate more so the whole thing balanced out. I am about where I want to stay, weight wise. Now, to just KEEP that weight! My friend calls bfing "baby lipo", just sucks the fat off ya.
Fire you'll find lots of ideas in NCSS - and they start right from newborn stage, i think (i have a dogeared and heavily annotated copy lying around from DS's babyhood). Good luck finding some solutions that work for you.
Janine - i discovered that feeding longer at Russells 7pm feed , helped him get through the night. instead of putting him down or going to bed straight away, i sit with him and re attach when he stirs till he is in a real deep sleep (limp like a rag doll) before putting him to bed. He dosnt just comfort suck when he stirs but actually feeds. it has made a world of differnce as he is now sleeping from 7-9pm to 3:45 - 5 am( 71/2 - 8 hours a night). He goes to sleep happy and that makes for a secure feeling baby.
i commend you for digging your heals in. All my friends FF and gave up on BF within the first 2 weeks and i can see the differnce in our childrens temperments as there babies were much more unsettled at his age. i know there are a lot of factors, ie parenting styles but definatley believe that Russell temperment is partly due to sticking it out till BF became second nature
Well, it happened again! It may be coincidence but the last two days have seen a rather significant change. I stopped sleeping with him in the crook of my arm. After his feed, I used to just lay back onto my back, but these times I move to the side enough to slide my arm between us, and pull my shirt across (less cold too!). For those two nights, he has done this:
7pm
10 or 11pm
2.30am
5 or 6am
WOW! Real feeds, with a beginning and an end! He finishes, gets comfy (even looked at me and smiled this morning), I get comfy, and then ... he falls asleep! Last night at about 4am I thought he wanted another feed, and previously it would have been the first thing I offered. But his head is really itchy from the cradle cap/fungal thing he has so I thought, hang on, maybe he's just uncomfortable. So I rolled him onto his tummy and he was out again like a light.
This all coincides with two days of engorged breasts that have seen him have tizzy fits and I've had to express for him to cope. The two late night feeds were VERY big ones :lol:. That might have had something to do with it. So Kira, you have a good point there. I should make sure he is tanked before midnight. My engorgement has taken care of that recently but that may settle.
I have started a milk bank. I bought those milk trays from the ABA that freeze bm in 30 ml blocks. I have two now. So proud. :lol: they are watery foremilk though (from the engorgement), so not much good for a night feed.
Morning all,
I had a great day yesterday. I clean house, washed dished x2 did all DD, DS, DH and Sheets washing, mowed the lawns front and back. Did some weeding even. Looks so neat and tidy now. Through all rubbish out in yard. Cleaned back of car out.
Wyatt was wonderful through is all. Keep to his routine. DS was abit of a hand ful but just sent him to room for nap and when he woke up we made bright green playdo he was happy.
Also DS is doing wonderful during his day nap with no wee's in his knickers. So we reward him for that. We brought a jar of lollies and when we have NO wees then he gets on. It's great, then it's only night we have to get rid of. He has been toilet trained during the day since he was 2 (sept 07) but now I want him out of nappies all together.
Well I am off I have to get shower and boys ready to go to council to registar the dogs, before I get fine. Along with the normal banking and post office stuff.
Cheers
Sarah
For those tryn to save money i came accross this at baby expo. they provide heaps of stuff in bulk and deliver aust wide - the bulk warehouse.
they stock nappies wipes and heaps of other stuff
new thread is here everyone https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...-2008-5-a.html