Bekz - yes that is very true, my dad messed me up big time and still today after 23 yrs of it i still have my moments, after getting the sms i talked to mum about it, she is absolutely fantastic with helping me through this as she went to heaven and earth to protect us when our dad left, i admit i did cry for a while thinking im doing all this to ash what my dad did to me.
So yes there will be very strict ground rules, and thats why i need to make some very good decisions now. i know when ash is old enough he will ask about his dad one day so I can only guide him as gently as i can. And maybe if his dad seriously steps up and does the right thing, theres a potential to have a family.. and when he saw ash last time (when he was 6 months i think) he said he wants marraige and all the family stuff, hes just been a d!ck about doing it when 'he' is ready and ready to except he has to grow up. So who knows, one step at a time i guess and we'll see how this visit goes. Hes not a bad person - Just a really stupid idiot! LOL