Gill - yeah you sound like me hun!!! I keep telling myself "it will get better" as everyone reminds me.... and don't worry, I too, am living off about 3-4hrs a day too. It's amazing how I'm still standing!!!
Every time Ava cries, I think "omg are you hungry AGAIN?" and I feel like I need to offer the breast all the time!!! It's so difficult knowing what they want and learning her different cries etc.....
Yeah I'm not really worrying about a routine until from 8wks onwards. Just going with the flow, what she wants at this stage.....but definitely trying to get her to self settle gently.
Gill: Sounds like bub has day and night muddle up? Have tried some sleep cues that are only for night time sleep (like wrap tightly etc).
My guy sleeps in his cot during the day unwrapped and self-settles with his mobile and fish bowl within a couple of minutes. Once asleep his music goes on his CD and he sleeps for up to 3 hours. If I am going out and want to have a small sleep, I don't put the music on and he naps only. At night, he goes to sleep with his music on (no mobiles), wrapped (from under his arms) and well fed (he cluster feeds from 4pm-7pm). DD had the same 'routine' (I use the term routine loosely) and she knows that when the music comes on it is time for bed. She just says 'nigh, nigh, love you' and gets into bed now and goes to sleep.....hope DS does the same (eventually).
For those having trouble settling bubs, have you tried white noise? Put the radio on an off station....it drives you nuts but is supposed to produce a similar noise that bubs were used to in the womb. I used this earlier on with DD and it worked....drove me insane so I switched to music. She hates it when I change CD's...she has her favourite (that is slowly driving me insane but why change something that works right??). Anyway, just my two cents worth he he.
Ren: With Ava having trouble gaining weight, routine would be the last thing I'd be thinking of....think you are doing the right thing feeding her when she needs it....she has some catching up to do. You are right, maybe at 8 weeks she will be ready for a routine.
Took Dash to the doc today and is on Zantac. Little porker has gained 500g in 10 days!! total weight gain is 1.5kg in 6 weeks!! And that is with reflux....go figure! Will see how we travel with the Zantac. Hope that is all we need to settle the reflux.
Anyway, bye for now.
Linda
PS. Have any of you put together a photo book at Big W site before? They are under $10 at the moment. Give it a go...it is too easy!!
Oh girls, im hearing what you are all saying and ive heard it before and then seen the answer and a very happy mum and baby after they put the advice into practise... please please check out the baby whisperer website, im telling you, its been a godsend for me. We still have our routine going, Caleb feeds every three hours and sleeps for an hour and a half to two hours four times a day and sleeps almost through the night as well
Ren if your little one is crying out for food and its been less than an hour and a half since she ate then either you have a low milk supply or you arent reading her cries properly, she wont be hungry that soon but if you give her your breast she will take it and not learn to self settle and you wont learn how to differentiate between her cries. Just imagine you go into a restaurant and ask for the bathroom and get a plate of food shoved in your face or you ask for some food and get taken to the toilet, how frustrating. if she doesnt feel that shes being heard then all her cries will become the same and you wont know the difference at all.
I hope i dont sound like im "preaching" i just know how valuable all this information i have received has been and I want you all to benefit the same way i have, i have so much sleep and energy, im able to go out, i dont have to drive Caleb or rock him to put him to sleep he just falls asleep because ive learnt how to read him and know how to settle him down so he has now learnt (in just two or three days) how to put himself to sleep in his bed. Its not a strict routine, its just a guideline and you work out how your baby fits into it as every child is different.
BTW the baby whisperer does NOT condone crying it out at all.
Here is a rough guideline of what the cries mean:
From Secrets of the Baby Whisperer p.86-88
Tired or overtired
Listen
Starts as cranky irregular frequency fussing but if not stopped quickly escalates to an overtired cry: first 3 short wails followed by a hard cry, then 2 short breaths and a longer, even louder cry. Usually they cry and cry and if left alone will fall asleep.
Observe
Blinks, yawns. If not put to bed, physical signs can include back arching, legs kicking and arms flailing, may grab own ears or cheeks and scratch face (a reflex); if you are holding him, squirms and tries to turn into your body. If he continues to cry his face will become bright red.
Of all the cries the most often misinterpreted for hunger. Therefore pay close attention to when it occurs. It may come after playtime or after someone has been cooing at baby. Squirming is often mistaken for colic.
Overstimulated
Listen
Long hard cry. Similar to overtired.
Observe
Arms and legs flail; turns head away from light; will turn away from anyone trying to play with him.
Usually comes when baby has had enough playing an adult keeps trying to amuse him.
Needs a change of scene
Listen
Cranky fussing that starts with noises of annoyance rather than outright cries.
Observe
Turns away from object placed before her; plays with fingers
If it gets worse when you change position then she might be tired and needs a nap.
Pain/Wind
Listen
Unmistakable shrill high-pitched scream that comes without warning; may hold breaths between wails and start again.
Observe
Whole body tenses and become rigid, which perpetuates the cycle, because the air can?t pass; pulls knees upward to chest, face is scrunched in an expression of pain, tongue wiggles upward, like a little lizard.
All newborns swallow air, which can cause wind. Throughout the day you?ll hear a tiny, squeaky wincing sound in the back of the throat ? that?s air swallowing. Wind can also be caused by irregular feeding patterns.
Hunger
Listen
Slight cough like sound in the back of the throat; then out comes the first cry. It short to begin with then more steady: waa, waa, waa rhythm.
Observe
Baby starts to subtly lick her lips and then ?root? ? tongue starts coming out and turns head to side; pulls fist toward mouth.
The best way to discern hunger is look at when baby last ate. If she?s on EASY it removes some the guesswork.
Too cold
Listen
Full-out crying with bottom lip quivering.
Observe
Tiny goose bumps on skin; may shiver; cold extremities; skin can sometimes have a bluish tinge.
Can happen with a newborn after a bath or when you?re changing and dressing her.
Too hot
Listen
Fussy whine that sounds more like panting, low at first, about five minutes; if left alone will eventually launch into a cry.
Observe
Feels hot and sweaty; flushed; pants instead of breathing regularly; may see red blotchiness on baby?s face and upper torso.
Different from fever in that cry is similar to a pain cry; skin is dry, not clammy. (Take temperature to be sure)
Where?d you go? I need a cuddle
Listen
Cooing sounds suddenly turns into short waas that sound like a kitten; crying disappears the minute baby is picked up.
Observe
Looks around, trying to find you.
If you catch this straight away you may not need to pick baby up (pat on back, soft words of reassurance).
Overfeeding
Listen
Fussing, even crying after a meal.
Observe
Spits up frequently
This often occurs when sleepiness and overstimulation are mistaken for hunger.
Bowel movement
Listen
Grunts or cries when feeding
Observe
Squirms and bears down; stops nursing; has bowel movement.
May be mistaken for hunger. Mum often thinks she?s ?doing something wrong?
Ok so this is a really long post but i hope it helps somebody in this group....
Sonya, I will resend you my routine for Nixon, like i said just sing out if you want some help!
Jo: I'm hearing you....have a friend that followed the baby whisperer and it worked beautifully for her, and still does with her first. I guess everyone has to find that 'something' that is right. Didn't work for her second bub though (for many reasons) but they have found something else that does works (there is so much advice out there isn't there!?) Glad Caleb is settling nicely for you! Sounds like the two of you have 'worked it out'!! My DD started off her life with similar routine to you (and it worked) but she had to be demand fed in the end because she was labelled as 'failure to thrive' and didn't put on weight - she could only take small feeds regularly....but I still followed her 'cues' (like you described) to know what she was doing/needing, just not the set sleep times etc...so I guess a semi-routine that was baby led. She slept through the night from 7 weeks (10-11 hour block) and we haven't looked back (DS wont sleep through the night for a while because of his reflux but that is ok). Thanks for sharing the info....I'm sure it will help others because learing to read the different cries is very helpful.
ETA: BTW Jo, was thinking of you just today....have you started using your cloth nappies? If so, how are you liking it?? I am getting mine out on the weekend since DS is out of newborn nappies now. Can't wait! Love the smell of freshly washed nappies. Anyone else using clothies??
If anyone is at all interested in sleep routines (if not, don't read the next paragraph), there is a show on the ABC that started last week (I think Thursday night at 8.30pm) and it examines 3 or 4 different theories on settling babies (and Jo I think the baby whisperer is one - was sort of only half watching it and cleaning so can't be sure). They are going to follow several couples and bubs through to 12 weeks to see which theory works best at getting baby to sleep through the night....there were some great tips!! Was interesting so will sit down and watch it properly this week. I will find out the name of the show and get back to all if you are interested. Some of the techniques are quite harsh (well I think) like baby goes to bed at 7pm and stays in the room with the door shut until 7am the next morning....you do not go in the room during these times even if baby is crying....and yes with a newborn (can't remember which theory that was).
WOW - two long posts today!! I have blabbed enough today so will stop there (can you tell I've had no adult contact today he he). I don't usually give out advise (only when I am asked because I usually hate getting advice when it is not asked for - except from all of you of course) but felt like adding my bit today he he. Hope it has helped someone too. I really do have several conversations going on in my own post at one time don't I (all the brackets and ..... and - !!) lol!! It must make some of you giddy reading my posts.
Speaking of advice...any second time mums out there who have had experience with Zantac and reflux bub? Just want to know when the best time is to give it and if it worked.
Dash is 6 weeks now - only 2 weeks until imunisations!!
Linda
Last edited by LuckyStar; February 23rd, 2009 at 04:37 PM.
: wanted to keep talking (is that a reason?)
Jo, I meant to pop in and thank you for the info about the site. I needed something like that. I am very much into gentle parenting and basically have gotten rid of all my books like sleep right, sleep tight and save our sleep. I love the sound of the E.A.S.Y routine, I just need to get organised to implement it.
I was horrified watching Bringing Up Baby! I think Claire? is a nasty piece of work, in the thread on this forum about the show some girls have mentioned that Claire is not even qualified and even if she was, she isn't following the true method of parenting (Truby King? 50's style) that she preaches. The other 2 styles are Dr. Spocks 60's style and the Continuum Concept 70's style. I am a good balance of the later 2 styles. I will be watching the next 2 episodes but my TV might wind up with a cricket bat in it
I don't get online much anymore, not to post anyway, I do try to read up as much as possible though. I found that the internet was detracting too much from home life so I am limiting my usage to an hour a day and I use that hour on crafting sites for the most part
Xavier is growing so quickly, I don't know how much he weighs now but I would guess about 5kg as he is getting too big for the newborn nappies, or is it 6kgs the newborns go up to? Who knows, he is gaining, that is the important thing. I am dealing with a lot of unsettledness like a few others. I think it is the fact I am mis-reading X's cues and wind up overfeeding him. He likes the boob though and is always looking for it. Typical male I guess He has that hormonal rash that bubs get at 6 weeks, I hope it doesn't last long, he has a mega pizza face, gone is the clear skin I am giving him a little tummy time each day and his neck is getting stronger all the time, he can lift his head for about a second or 2 now. What else, they don't do much at this stage except eat, sleep, poo and cry. We are starting to get a 4 or 5 hour block between 2 of the night time feeds, he is 2 hourly otherwise. Well there he cries again, I better try and work out what this one means....
Sarah - im glad that website is helping you. i too do not believe in control crying, someone on the website said that one time their little one was crying and someone said to let them cry it out, well she caved and went in there and her little one was lying in vomit, if she had have not gone in all night and let him cry it out he wouldve fallen asleep in it and then vomited again (which he ended up doing) and possibly choked on it, plus he had diarrhea. imagine how traumatic that would be for a baby!
Also someone said to me, imagine if you came home after a horrible day and all you wanted was a cuddle and you came in crying and i just walked away and ignored you, how would you feel.... well thats what its like for them, sometimes they just need a cuddle, babies have bad days too.
ok ok enough from me, i didnt realise i felt so strongly about all this until i had a baby!!
Orange - yes i have started trialling my cloth nappies during the day and they are still a bit too bulky (they are one size fits all) he only goes about and hour and a half before he hates wearing them because he can actually feel the wetness and i have to change him so ive decided to do disposables at night so he can sleep peacefully through and cloth during the day... I have some motherease nip naps and they seem to be alright, some of the others ive bought arent that good (waste of money!) and some others are too big to even try yet. Caleb is still under 5 kgs so it might be another week or so before i can really get stuck into them.
Well i just gave Caleb a bath before sleep time and he was kicking off the bath and having a grand old time, he just loves it. He loves tummy time too, he holds his head up straight and high for about 5 minutes straight, its unbelievable, i just sit there taking photos of him while he is doing it and i get around 10 in before he starts to wobble!! hahahaha
My sister is now 5 days overdue for her little girl, she is getting the gel put in tonight and then again wednesday if nothing has happened by then, i sure hope she goes soon the poor thing.
Oh and Caidens mummy is having troubles with belly belly but said to say hi to everyone and she misses you all!
My goodness i can talk today! as you can see i have far too much time on my hands at hte moment hahaha, i even started back up on my scrapbooking again today for Calebs album.
Well i better go and spend some time with my husband, i bet you are all sick of me by now!
hi
i nearly bought that book today secrets of a baby whisperer but bought another by mistake,i think ill go back and get it..nixon is a pretty good baby
nixon been pretty good the last few days apart from when we had him out n about here.there n everywhere but is doing good,ill be dashing to buy that book but we are pretty close today to what they suggest,except dh coulnt get him to settle whilst i was off shopping so i came home picked him up,cuddled n been asleep the last 2 and 3/4 hours except hes fallen asleep on me,not waking him im enjoying the cuddles...
jo-i think u have found ur forte as a sleep 4 baby advisor,u should look into it as a career..
speaking of which please checkout my facebook page as ive gone back into my kids photography,its in my albums called ignite kids,my friend n i are currently putting a plan together to do the shopping centre photography but with some finesse not flowerpots n bath-tubs..hes done my pix of nixon,great for me as i can sit at home and make money n market the business..for all you melb girls ill look after you
well tomorrow going to get nixon's feet hand n cast cant wait
Orange - I've seen those Big W books, I'm going to organise one! They are so cute!!
And yes my friend told me about that ABC show! We are taping it each night! It sounds really good. my friend sms me when it was on but i'd gone to bed to get some precious sleep!
Jo - thanks for that website info. I don't have a low milk supply, in fact I have probably too much!!! plenty of milk there....leaking left right and centre lol To be honest, with all the breastfeeding issues Ava and I have had to overcome the last 2 weeks, we haven't really been able to focus on anything else..... and Ava is only 3 weeks old so at this stage, we are just happy focusing on getting her feeding right with the help of this LC I've hired and she's been wonderful. So happy Ava is putting on weight. (not sure if you've been reading our updates!?)
As for different cries, we've watched that DVD "Baby Dunstan Language" its fantastic and demonstrates different cries and how to help settle etc and react to each cry. We are watching the DVD again this week. Everything takes time and I'm happy with the way things are going at the moment..... we are learning each other and that takes time
And yep sometimes babies just need to have a good old cry!!! They can cry for no reason sometimes they just want cuddles.
Lately we've given Ava tummy time every day and she loves it. She lies there comfortably for a good 5mins before getting a bit upset. She can lift her head up so strongly and hold it for a good 2mins or more and has done so since day one!!! We are soooo proud of our little girl We also give her nappy-free time so she can kick her legs etc.....
Jo - Ava loves her bath time too! She is so relaxed.... I'm glad cos she is starting swimming lessons at 3mths which isnt far away!! hehe
yeah you sound like me hun!!! I keep telling myself "it will get better" as everyone reminds me.... and don't worry, I too, am living off about 3-4hrs a day too. It's amazing how I'm still standing!!!
He has that hormonal rash that bubs get at 6 weeks, I hope it doesn't last long, he has a mega pizza face, gone is the clear skin 
I am giving him a little tummy time each day and his neck is getting stronger all the time, he can lift his head for about a second or 2 now. What else, they don't do much at this stage except eat, sleep, poo and cry. We are starting to get a 4 or 5 hour block between 2 of the night time feeds, he is 2 hourly otherwise. Well there he cries again, I better try and work out what this one means....
plenty of milk there....leaking left right and centre lol To be honest, with all the breastfeeding issues Ava and I have had to overcome the last 2 weeks, we haven't really been able to focus on anything else..... and Ava is only 3 weeks old so at this stage, we are just happy focusing on getting her feeding right with the help of this LC I've hired and she's been wonderful. So happy Ava is putting on weight. (not sure if you've been reading our updates!?)
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