SJ. I was thinking you should try DoCS again. Maybe someone would actually look into it & do their job now? Or maybe you guys could at least apply for more custody than you have now?
Have you or DH asked him about it yet? How he feels? Kids are pretty resilient, & alot smarter than we give credit for. He may have already known something like this was going on, it was just the admission to it that rocked him.
It's admitting it to both of them.
It's a hard position to be in. Just make sure he can talk to you guys & ask what ever he wants, & I think you should come out of it ok. As long as he knows its not his fault.
Is it still true that kids can make the decision of which parent they want to live with at 12? I hope so.
Good luck with it all.
I really hope it gets better really soon.