Babies Born May 1st ~ 15th 2009

[Maruschke]

TMTM - poor Clare, how horrible for her. I hope she wasn't teased too much. I'd be cranky at the teacher!

Roses - 2 am - 7 am sounds fantastic! I hope you can get him into the cot soon. Have you tried heating up the cot with a heatbag before you put him down? I know X hated going from my warm arms to a cold cot sheet.

TM - how did you go last night? Did she eventually settle? I hope you got some sleep .

AFM - X vomited in her bed again last night. I have no idea why! She slept a lot better and I actually woke up smiling which was great. There is a BB breakfast meet up tomorrow and I am looking forward to getting together with my mummy friends (and meeting little Sophia!).

[nelly]

well my "phase" is over knew I'd jinx myself!! Back to "normal" (whatever that is) newborn behaviour and sleeping. Oh well at least she managed to resettle herself this morning when I put her down and was busting for a pee after her feed!

Yay and I get to meet Xanthe tmrw morning at the breakfast!

TMTM I hope CLare is ok - I'd be rather peeved at the teacher too!

[nelly]

Janelle Fuller's Photos - Sophia Katherine | Facebook

some pics ....

[tattoo_mama]

Hi all

Candice: she was up from 1030 am til 11pm with only a 1 hr sleep dp was no help and we had a huge fight I lost the plot and called my mum and am staying with her for the long weekend. I don't know if im gonna go back, he has left voice messages, some are angry, some are apologetic, I just don't know what to do...

[Maruschke]

Oh Emma I am so sorry. A new baby puts a lot of stress on any relationship. Is your mum happy for you to stay for a while? Sorry I can't give you any advice, just big . I wish I lived closer, I would keep you company or at least give you a break from Jade if you needed it.

Best of luck in making your decision. If I can share (but hopefully not put any pressure on you)... My mum chose to leave my biological father when I was very little (before my 1st birthday) and she said that she hesitated because she wanted what was best for the kids (I have an older sister), she wanted us to have a dad, but left anyway. As a kid I am glad she did, a few years later met my step dad who is a wonderful man. I am always thankful that I didn't grow up in a tense household, even though we spent a few years without a dad figure.

[megs]

Hi Girls,

TM: I am thinking of you I hope you and Jade are doing OK and that your Mum is able to give you a break. If she has just switched to formula that might be causing some grief for her tummy. Have you tried giving the Maternal Health Line a call to see if they have any advice. With Jack when he gets overtired and ridiculous I just swaddle him as tight as possible and hold him, he screams for a couple of minutes then drops of to sleep.

TMTM: Glad to hear the block feeding is working. Sorry to hear about Clare's experience at school, sometimes you wonder why people become teachers.

AFM: Jack is going really well, we have had a few unsettled evenings which I think has been combination of wind and being overtired. He has slept a couple of night for about 7 hours, but isn't consistent.
I am thinking that I might try to get some type of routine happening with his sleeps.
I am still having a discharge which I am really over, hopefully this week will be the last of it.

Sorry I haven't done more personals will try to catch up later.

[Toomanytoomany]

Hi all

Candice: she was up from 1030 am til 11pm with only a 1 hr sleep dp was no help and we had a huge fight I lost the plot and called my mum and am staying with her for the long weekend. I don't know if im gonna go back, he has left voice messages, some are angry, some are apologetic, I just don't know what to do...

I'm so sorry it's so tough, Emma. Your dp is a #$(%*. You need support and love at the moment and I hope your Mum is able to give it to you.

I second the notion of contacting your maternal child health nurse, and getting referrals to as much support services as you can. There may even be day stay or overnight spots for you to stay at where mothercraft nurses will help you to work out your wakeful little girl.

[nelly]

Emma I hope thing turn around for you soon. Even try the hospital where you were sometimes I find they are just as helpful?

We had our first "incident" with Jake and Sophia this afternoon. Unfortunately Jake has inherited my clumsiness and managed to kick Sophia in the head as he was getting onto the couch when I was clustering her this arvo. He was upset, she was upset, I was upset... lol was quite funny in hindsight! She is ok and it wasn't really that hard, just a fright for us all.

Right she's aslepp, so no Vicar of Dibley (I know old people's TV) tonight I am off to bed. Night xxxx

[amazed]

hi everyone,

I am trying to type with little Jonah attached to my boob! He has started getting much hungrier (he is just at the two week mark as he was born on May 15th). He was eating every two-three hours and now he seems to be wanting to feed every hour. How's momma going to handle all that, kid?

Tatto_mama: hope it turns out the best for you and Jade. It sounds like DP is immature. He has to grow up soon...

Megs: seven hours of sleep. Wow. I'm jealous.

Nelly: good to hear!

Kelly: Whew, on the chickenpox!

Roses: I have the same problem. In fact I want to ask everyone? Is there a way to encourage the kid to settle himself? He'll only fall a sleep at the breast and can be transferred to his crib or otherwise put down (at night we co-sleep) if he's in deep sleep which takes about 20 minutes. So, 15 minutes per breast, plus 20 minutes to let him get to sleep -- almost an hour per feed. It gives me nooo time to do anything else. Also, if I put him down on his bed and he wakes up, he will then cry or otherwise be unhappy until his next feed because he doesn't know how to go to sleep not on the breast -- even though he's full.

He's just two weeks old so I don't know how to encourage him to learn to go to sleep besides on the breast. I don't have a swing; maybe I should get one? He does fall a sleep in the car...

[Pandora]

Hi guys.

TM - I hope you can get some rest at your mums and some time to think about things.

Well, Oscars attachment is still pretty average on the left, and relatively good on the right, I made an appt to see the hospital LC tomorrow afternoon. TBH, based on last time Im not expecting miracles.
Im worried though because I think hes not getting on well enough to get much of the fatty milk, he has really greenish dirty nappies, but not frothy ones, so Im finding it hard to tell if its something in my diet, or a lactose issue.

I really, really cant block feed him, at least on the left anyway its too painful to have him on that side first for 2 feeds in a row, if I need to do that I'll have to only feed him on the right and express the left side.

Im actually seriously thinking of exclusively expressing for a day or two, at least on that side, and cup feeding it to him.

Amazed - it depends on whether you are happy feeding him to sleep I guess. DS1 falls asleep on 2-3 feeds through the day and will go to sleep, and at night time I feed him to sleep I guess. I fed DS1 to sleep until he was about 18 months old (b/f til 6, ff til 12 then regular milk) but I didnt have a problem with it, and when we stopped he had relatively little issues going to sleep without milk.

I never gave him a bottle in his cot though, he only had a drink if I was holding him.

Do you have a sling or pouch - he may go to sleep that way, and you'll at least have 2 hands free to do things, even if its not sleeping yourself.

WE went to the GP yesterday to get Oscars bellybutton looked at, as the MCHN was concerned its still very moist/weepy and thinks he may have a granuloma. GP said its not too bad just yet and he wont cauterise it if he doesnt have to, so told me to give it til Friday next week and bring him back if its not dried out.

[amazed]

Rayray: I don't mind feeding him to sleep most of the time but sometimes he will wake up right after the feed and he just can't go to sleep till next feed time. I wish there was an alternative way for him to go to sleep. It creates dilemmas: for example, I'm also torn between changing him after a feed and letting him sleep because if I change him he'll wake up and be cranky and unhappy till next feed time ... and if I don't change him, he'll be on his way to a diaper rash. I do have a sling but I'm finding it difficult to carry him around all the time -- I'm always sensitive to having weight hang off one shoulder. I'm looking into purchasing a carrier that distributes the weight more evenly. If he falls asleep in the sling and if I take him out of the sling and put him down, he often wakes up.

On nipple pain: I highly recommend ameda comfortgel hydrogel pads -- or any kind of hydrogel except ameda is pretty good because they can be reused for six whole days. That's what saved me when my nipples started bleeding and cracking at the hospital. A nurse suggested these instead of lanolin (in fact, do not use them with lanolin). They are the same kind of stuff they use on burn victims and serious wounds. These are not just plastic shields; they promote healing by maintaining an appropriate level of moisture. They aren't cheap but I used them for two weeks (two pairs, one per week) and am completely healed. I mean, I still have a bit of soreness but no blood, scabs, etc. I'd give it a go. (People talk about putting them in the fridge, how soothing the coldness is, etc... That's fine but that's not what makes them work. I heard some people take them out after they warm up; that's completely misunderstanding the hydrogel concept. Just keep them there between feedings and make sure to wash them gently and pat them dry to be able to use them as long as a week).

[Maruschke]

Ray - I hope you get your attachment issues sorted out. There is nothing worse than sore cracked nipples! It's weird, so many people say that their baby attaches much better on the right, maybe it's because most of us are right handed? The left side is my bad side too. It got so bad that we have had to ff. I really didn't want to, but I had to do what is best for me and bubs. Did you manage to bf Milo for a while? Good luck with the expressing, it is exhausting.

Amazed - how exhausting!!! Are you changing sides every hour, or offering the same side a few times in a row? I wonder if bubs is hungry because he is getting mostly foremilk? Good luck, this might be a phase that he passes through quickly while boosting your supply.

Emma - how are you today? I hope you are recharging at your mum's. I've been thinking of you and hope things are improving .

Nelly - haha on the Vicker of Dibley, we watched it last night and it was hillarious! Thanks for the cuddles from Sophia, she is gorgeous and Jake is such a proud big brother. I'll bring some herb bread over tomorrow.

[Pandora]

grrr I lost my post.
I bf milo til 6 months, there were much bigger issues with him though.
I am really hoping to get to 9 months with Oscar, but ATM it looks like I will have to go back to work early, when hes only about 6 months old, so that may not happen unfortunately
Ive just managed to get him to sleep after 5 hours awake, hoping he sleeps for 40 mins at least!

[tattoo_mama]

Hi guys

Still at my mums, has been great the 1st nite (fri) mum let me sleep all night and she got up and FF jade (of course after being awake for close to 12 hrs she went to sleep at 1am, only woke up at 530 for a feed and fell strate back to sleep, and slept again til 11am!!) and I got a good 6 hrs sleep. She is still awake from about 10 or 11am everyday til 2pm ish, just wants to feed and be held and gets ridiculous and won't settle, mums been encouraging me to BF and its been going ok (still using the sheilds) but caus I didn't BF for 3 days I've got hardly any milk (can I 'dry up' that fast?)

Last nite she slept ok, put her to bed at 10pm she woke at 11pm, 4am and 7am, but each feed takes about an hr cause she won't settle even tho I feed her in the dark, no eye contact etc she's just a very alert girl....but I feel 100% better today after sleep and food (I hadn't eaten or showered for 2 days and am now below my pre pg weight from not eating which is bad I look way 2 skinny) and all yesterday I cried and said I wanted 2 give her up...I think im gonna have to go see the doc about some meds caus I went off them a few months before I got pg...

As for me and DP I think he has realised that he wasn't helping much and understands im depressed and its not 'caused' by anything (he kept saying why are u sad and I just don't know) his mum had a big talk with him and he's coming to my mums tonite to talk to me. He is still very against anyone coming to our house to help me though, he thinks ppl coming over to help is like accepting charity, and he keeps saying 'why don't u just ask me 2 do housework' but when I ask he forgets or complains he just doesn't understand us girls need our mums to help!!! My mum has been so much help I can't stop saying thanks to her, for all her advice and letting me sleep and practically feeding me!!!

Im sorry abt no persies im feeling very selfish atm....I really hope all u guys are enjoying ur babies I wish I could...I do love her but its so hard to bond while depressed...

[Pandora]

TM - no you probably cant 'dry up' that fast, but the no bf will cause your supply to be low. The more you put Jade on the breast the more your supply will increase.
Some people have gone back to bf after months and been able to successfully get their supply back up to do it full time, so 3 days should be OK.
You can ring the ABA number too.

As for him not wanting people to come over to help, he needs to get over that - maybe his mum can talk to him about that specifically - you should to take all the help thats offered to you. He needs to know its not about him - my husband thinks he has to clean the house and have it at display home standard because people are coming over, and what will they think of us?? Hmm that we have a 2 week old baby? My mum was over as often as she could be when I had DS1 and I was 27!

As for the depression, talk to you MCHN. Im going to talk to mine when I go next, in 2 weeks. I dont htink I have PND but I do think the mild depression that I had before I was pregnant is back. I wonder how they differentiate.

[*Dee*]

Tatt - sorry to hear things arent going smooth for u. But just so u know, it does get easier over time as u and Jade get more use to eachother and familiar with eachothers ways. The first baby is ALWAYS the hardest, no matter how young or old u are. I'm glad ur mum is helping u out, DP needs to understand that that's what parents/grandparents are for! I just had my dad come down from QLD for the weekend and he spent so much money on us all and helped out heaps. That's just what they do, maybe if u told DP it's not charity, it's not just coz u need help but that ur mum WANTS to do it for her granddaughter.
Does she like the bath or massage?? Sometimes that helps to settle them, and I found keeping Ethan warm makes him sleepy too, rug her up in warm clothes and swaddle her and put mittens on to stop her hands from getting cold and see how u go... All babies are different but sometimes the warmth gives them security, even a drive in the car or a walk in the pram might help. If she has colic or wind the movement might settle her belly. Works with Ethan. With DS1 I use to put him in the capsule and put it on the washing machine when it was on, he looooved it. got him to sleep everytime! haha
I also agree with the others on calling the nurse for some advice. Hang in there sweet, Being a Mum is the most difficult job but also the most rewarding!

TMTM - sorry to hear about poor Claire, how horrible that the teacher didnt help her. Glad the block feeding is working.

Ray - My DH is the same, everytime I say someone is coming over he races around the house scrubbing and cleaning.. lol I'm like - just relax, ppl understand we have a new baby and alot of sleepless nights, they dont care if there's dishes on the sink etc, just make sure the toilet is clean and we'll be right! LOL

Hope everyone else is going well, I have been reading but it's so much to catch up on and only a little window of time... lol

Ethan slept like an angel last night, Ahhhhh Fed at 10pm woke for feed at 3:15am then again at 6:30am then up at 8:30am... it was so uch easier to settle him after feeds too.
I think it may have been a combination of being awake alot thru the day, and I dressed him in a really warm wooly suit over his romper and just one blanket so he was kept warm (as it's been freezing here and he keeps kicking his blankets off so this way he cant get cold no matter what he does) and the night before he was up ALL night whiging and crying with wind, I got to a point where I just put him in the basinette and left him and he whinged a little bit then went to sleep himself, since then all I have to do is cuddle and rock him till he's sleepy then pop him in bed and he goes off to sleep. sometimes he stirs a bit so I just rub his head or rock the bed a little and he stops.
Feeding is going well, he feeds a fair bit thru the day but less at night so we are getting somewhere... Tho by 3am thismorning my boobs felt like they were going to explode!! lol
He loves his bath now he'd stay in there all day if I let him... lol
My poor bub has conjunctivitis tho it started today so I got these little wipes for his eyes... I feel so sorry for him

Had my dad here for the weekend which was great, he absolutly adores Ethan. It was sad seeing him off on the plane tho, eventho I'm going to see him in 2 weeks, I really miss him!

Better run, Ethan is unsettled and needs a cuddle with mum.

[sarah85]

Hi ladies,
It's over 2 weeks since I posted on here - how time flies! I've been trying to read through and catch up on everyone. It seems that most of us have been going through similar things...and it's been so reassuring for me. Some days I feel like I'm at my wits end - and that I just can't do it any more (as in looking after a baby full time)...I was thinking that made me a bad mother, and that nobody else would be feeling this way. But I guess it's just a reaction to being exhausted by looking after a newborn. I'm figuring that as long as there are more "good" times than "bad" things are ok. Does that make sense?

Tatt - I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now. But it sounds like your Mum is a fantastic support for you right now. It's so hard to remember to take care of yourself when you can't settle bubs down, but I've got to the point where if I haven't eaten, and know I need to I just put little Emma down in her bassinet, making sure that she's fed, and has a clean nappy, and let her cry for 10 mins while I eat something. At least you'll feel a little better having eaten something, and you can go back in for round 2...or round 30, whichever you're up to. And over the next few weeks as Jade gets a bit bigger and hopefully settles more you'll get more of a chance to bond with her. At the moment my favourite time is just after a feed when Emma is awake. I'll sit her up in front of me and look at her face and just talk to her, and let her look at me and look around. She's just starting to become more interested in things around her which is just so cute! Keep your chin up - they can't be this little and unsettled forever!

TMTM - Your post about Major Tom's frothy poos caught my eye cuz my little girl has the same problem. I had seen a bit about block feeding, but wasn't sure about trying it. Have you found that it's improved any more since your last post about it? When I mentioned it to the midwife at the post-natal clinic she suggested that maybe I was eating too much dairy or sugar...but I didn't think I was eating a massive amount...

Dee and Ray - My DH is the same as well - if I say that a friend is coming over for coffee he tidies the whole house. It's pretty sweet really, but I feel bad - like he doesn't really get a break at the moment.

Dee - I hear you on the being so full by 3am...little Emma sometimes sleeps from 10.30pm through to 4 to 5am - and I am absolutely overloaded by then. lol, I soaked right through my breast pads, and saturated my bra the other night. lol. But the sleep was magic. Sorry to hear about Ethan's conjunctivitus - that doesn't sound like much fun at all!

Nat - we haven't heard from you for a while - hope everything is ok...

I had to go to the Dr on Saturday, because lucky me got mastitus. I tell you what - for those of you who have never had it make sure you keep an eye out for the symptoms, and get to a Dr ASAP to deal with it early. Mine started with a really sore area on my left boob which I noticed Friday afternoon. I tried massaging it in a warm shower, and massaging it while feeding, and feeding from the sore side first for a few feeds in a row, but it just got worse.

We had an unsettled night on Friday night (I'm pretty sure Emma could sense that I was upset - I had a mini breakdown Friday night when DH didn't get home from work until 8pm, and I was exhausted), and around 5am Saturday morning I took my temperature and it had soared to 38.9 degrees. I felt like I had run a marathon (was absolutely more worn out than I have ever felt in my life) and like someone had smashed my boob with a meat cleaver. I couldn't even get out of bed holding Emma. Went to the Dr, and got antibiotics, then spent Saturday resting, and taking panadol, and thank god woke up yesterday feeling human again!

RE settling techniques (I was going to address people individually, but figured other people might be interested). I'm only a first time Mum, but some interesting things I've heard over the last few weeks are:
From the Dr on Saturday - if a baby is feeding for more than 40 minutes it's generally considered that the baby has finished feeding and is just using you as a dummy.
- you shouldn't let the baby fall asleep at the boob (I'm considering ignoring this one during the night at least - if it means I get more sleep at the moment!). As soon as bub doesn't seem to be really paying attention to the feed any more they should be taken off the boob.
- as bub gets older the feed, play, sleep routine becomes more important. So after a good feed, if baby is wide awake then talk to her, interact with her, or if you have a few things to do put her down somewhere safe where she can look around on her own for a few minutes. After a little while she'll start to show signs of tiredness - yawning, irritability, jerky movements. Once these signs are there then you need to wrap her, settle her and put her down. I was told that if you miss this "window" you often miss that whole "cycle" of sleep because baby will be overtired and too cranky to sleep.

I don't know if any of that helps anyone - and I may have just repeated what others have already said (I can't always remember what I've read on here, and what I've heard elsewhere. lol).

BUT we all need to keep our chins up - WE'RE DOING A GREAT JOB...NEWBORNS ARE HARD WORK!

[sarah85]

I just re-read my post - please don't take the bit about settling techniques as me telling anyone what they "have" to do...I used the words "need to" which make it sound more like an order. lol. It's only a suggestion - I'm finding that I have success with it maybe 3 or 4 times out of 5...