thanks guys, wasnt them on the phone last night, DH spoke to his mum today to sort things out.
told her
yes he also finds his dad diffecult, she doesnt know how to address that with him (he will make a mountain out of a mole hill,) i understand we all have bad traits taht we cant change, but he can make more of an effort to change certain things he says, hes the srot of person who expects people to get him things instead of getting it himself, i feel like he's the percious one here!

she understands we want some time alone

understands we will no longer have the room to accomodate them

understands im not blocking them out!!

understand that it best for my mum to look after sophie while having baby, its just not practical to get them to drive 4 hours

still worried WTF...

so over family ****, respect our wishes, she works with PND women and she fishing to see if i have it and i DONT
fark have a head ache now!