Babies born October 1st - 15th 2008 #4

Still not a great day here although better. Went in and had major long appointment with my pychologist/case managere. He suggested that I need to find a balance and some me time (dah) I also need to get over the obsesion of being Bethanys sole care giver. Although at the moment with the hours DH works I am the sole care giver!! I need to have a long talk to DH tonight about that I resent that he comes home from work and wants to relax when I need him to take some of the care tasks. Not so I can relax but so I can have a break!! I also need to work on leaving Bethany with someone be it DH or someone else for a bit each fortnight and work up from there. Basically he did most the talking I did the crying and nodding, yes I know I need to do these things but how?? I think I am going to have to over come my fear of my MIL and ask her to help. She is never going to offer I can see that now (she is one of those who wants to be asked not offer...don't get me started) I have waited 3 months for the offer. Its not going to come. But I just can't get my head around leaving Bethany with her. My MIL has spent so little time with her I am not even sure if she can give a bottle (ok I know that is dumb but we know there is a technique particularly if you don't want a baby full of wind at the end) I know she doens't know how to use disposiables....sighhhh what do I do?? I have friends I can call who can do this and they do know how to give bottles and change nappies. Its tough. I was thinking of maybe inviting MIL to spend some time with us so she could see Bethany's routine and things and then after a few goes of that see how I feel about leaving her. Is that mean though like a trial??

hugs Amy_o!!!! thinking of you hun......

amy - i would just like to say that most of the things you mention, I have also felt - I settle Zander all the time so it is quicker if i do it - DH has NEVER got up during the night, he has NEVER put Zander to bed at night time, and only during the day probably as many times as you have fingers. DH travels for on average 2 nights away from home per week, which i 3 full days really - I too am the sole caregiver. I am sure your case mgr was pointing things out you already know, just like I know too - but knowing you have to let go, and actually letting go are hard. But why do we have to? My DH works a full job and then comes home to a crazy house - he might want some peace too - so it is about balance really. He does bath and bedtime story with the other 2 whilst I b/f and put Z to bed.

My MIL had 5 kids, but I wouldn't leave Z with her at the moment either cos he has no idea who she is - but they live interstate so different story. My bestie here had my other two on SUnday for our anniversary lunch - she offered to take Zander too and I express EBM - I was not comfortable with this - the what ifs he didn't take the bottle, and he is little and no reason why he couldn't come with us. Also I feel guilty for burdening someone else with my kids - that comes from having no family here to help - so even though lunch was lovely, I felt like I was rushing to get home to "relieve" her, but I know she didn't care what time we got back :redface::redface:

I just want to assure you hun that it is not because you have a medical condition that you feel this way.

DUnno if that helps or not ...... oh well you know more about me now :rofl:

just gave Mia a feed of Lactose Free formula and she drank 150mls!!! and she didnt spew up half of what she normally does.. hrmmmm

woo hoo Hollye!!!!

Sami you made me cry cause I actually feel like a normal mum not "the mum who has bipolar", Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!

shes still abit spewy but not as bad..... as u can see, im desperate.... ill try anything! hurry up tuesday!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Sami you made me cry cause I actually feel like a normal mum not "the mum who has bipolar", Thank you thank you thank you!!!!!

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Oh Hun you are more than welcome - all those things are very normal. Perhaps you might feel them more at heightened times, but you are doing wonderfully well and what more could you ask from yourself but take each day at a time, and do the best you can for Bethany and you . :hug:

Talked to DH, not sure we achived much but atleast he knows how I am feeling....
it is all sooooo much easier on paper or in the psychologists office....

Oh Tanya you don't need to apologise for what you said!

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Sorry I know it's not as bad as ops and sick babies, but an hour of screaming while being stuck in a car just really did my head in!

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It's all about what we're all going through - no-one has more or less right to complain :hug: and it sounds like it was just awful! That would have me in tears too. I did the same thing early on trying BF. He was screaming at 2am and our feeding wasn't going well, so I yelled back (which brought DH running - from being fast asleep). Then I felt like the worst mummy in the world! It's just such a foul way to feel!

SamiH & Amy_o - well you're both just fabulous! I'm about to start "training" my MIL too. I know I should use her, but I'm a bit reluctant as I feel she won't respect how I want MY son looked after... so I feel for you Amy_o, it's not easy to do at all. And good on you for talking to DH too.

hollye - hope that formula is still going well :hug: bring on Tues!!

And good news on my front, I think my little snorty man is on the mend. Haven't had any more diahrroea for a few days, he was more settled yesterday and he's not whimpering in his sleep like he was (nor rubbing his head so obsessively). So yay yay. He managed to spit up on my robe AND my nightie this morning, plus I didn't do the bottle up tight enough so we leaked (yes, leaked EBM!!! :o) on our bib, sleeping bag and bodysuit. In fact every single thing both of us wore now needs washing lol!

I'm now trying to work out if I have to pay an excess on my op - have a nasty feeling I do - so there's $500 down the drain! I guess it's worth it though... I so have that lottery... all things PG related with me don't go well, it's just the baby who's good :rofl: on balance I prefer it this way round.

Belifei..are you only in for the day?? if you are only in for day stay i am pretty sure you don't have to pay your excess....

we have laughs!!!! soooo cute :D

Well this will make us all feel better .....

I was at a friends house yesterday arvo and her sister was there, she is preg with #4 - and had her 3.5 yo with her only. She does swear like a trooper - but her little boy knocked over his OJ and she yelled "Oh you F***Wit". Oh my gosh, my friend and I just looked at each, I was appalled. I know we can get angry at times, but this was completely unprovoked - it was more cos she had to stop chatting and pay him some attention.

# Note to self - leave the room if you feel an explosion that big coming on ..

Zander coo'ing - what a nice way to wake up! Better get the little man :)

Amy - I agreee that you sound like a new mum and your DH just sounds like a first time dad. If we didnt know about your bipolar we wouldnt have suspected! lol :) I found with DD i had to be very black and white with DH on what i needed done. They just dont seem to know what needs doing with a baby and as they are not near the bubs as much as we are they dont pick thing up easily.

I remember when DD was born i wrote DH a letter titled...."what i need you to do for DD" ... and i put in point form basic stuff (it is never too basic)... ie- if she cries check her nappy for me, in the morning, hold her for 10 minutes before you go to work in a room i cant hear crying so i can have a shower... reallly easy terms to understand.

DH now, takes DS in the morning after his feed so i can get another 1/2 hr sleep, When DD wakes automatically gets her up, changes nappy or toliets, dresses and sets her up fror breakfast (this is all before he leaves for work at 7am). And in the arvo, comes home - takes the kids so i can finish dinner, then after dinner - cleans DD, runs 2 baths, watches dd in the big bath awhile washing DS in the little bath, dresses in the bed time, - puts DS on our bed so i can feed for the night while he give DD a bedtime story and milk.

Now that wasnt something that came naturally. It was a routine and we talked and worked harda t it.
Now it is second nature :) SO it itakes work as a partnership :)

You are doing a great job - i am very proud of how well you are coping! :)

Sami - mmm to the swearing.. they pick it up so quickly. i can see DD doing things we do within seconds of it happening!! if a child takes her ball at FDC - she yells HEY!!!! ooops... lol so yes i can understand your shock!

Belfie - My health fund also stipulates that day surgery has no excess.. i would check - what defines a day surgery is that you are not admited to the ward (this is regardless of how many hows to stay there). You need to be transfered to a day surgery bed after recovery and discharged from that unit :)

Hols - how is your little girl? Ethan has been SHOCKING lately. Still throwing up and like you know - most of every feed. It has been very mucousy and now it happens after and well after feeds (you can see it is partly processed milk)... I am not sure what to do as he is BF so i cant just change my milk lol if you know what i mean, and as he wont take a bottle ,akes it harder... thinking of trying a cup today of EBM and seeing if there is a thickner at the chemist to add... might book a dr appointment to check it all.


On the upside he was 6.4kg yesterday so he isnt losing weight :_)

oh on the MIL thing i still dont leave DD with them lol ...

my poor lil girl got checked out by the MCHN today and shes not putting on much weight. shes struggling to put on 100 grams a week. So the MCHN is worried now and has given me all the infoto give to the pead on tuesday. fingers crossed he helps my lil girl :(

jst a quick q
if bf poo is predominantly runny, hw do u tell it frm diarrhoea?

teru - frequency and signs of dehydration :)

teru - it also looks a bit watery - I know normal b/f poo is runny, but the consistency is like thin cream (sorry, couldnt think of anything else) diarrohea is watery - you will know the difference if it is the runs - smell might be stronger too

Holly - thats no good, I hope the paed has some answers for you.

PP - I weighed Zander today and he was 6.5kg so our boys around the same - he was 64 cms long.

Z has had a grumpy day - think the heat - tried to feed him a bit more but he just got psd with that :rolleyes: Obviously his short feeds havent affected his weight gain either - still 800gms in 4 weeks. Happy with that :D

hollye ~ hun i hope you get some answers soon hun!!!
well we have had an OK day...he has had his moments (which frustrates the hell outta me!! as NOTHING will settle him...

Well i gave Ethan EBM today.
He fed at 5am(breast) then
9(100),
1130(100),
130(100),
4pm (120)
6.3pm (120)

and booby for bed at 730.

And only the 1 smallest spit up! when i put him on the boob at 730 he fussed and pulled.. i dont know what the deal is???

ofcorse he will fuss at the boob PP, he has to work harder for his tucker and he now knows the bottle gives it to him straight away ;) they are smart little critters! great hes taking the bottle tho!

Thanks for your comments girls. I am feeling better today! It just felt so awful to be trapped in a car with a screaming baby for so long. I love her so much but that just took me to my wits end. And then afterwards I felt terrible for yelling at her. Anyway, I just took it easy the last couple of days and avoided any car trips. :lol:

My Maya sounds so small compared to all the other bubs. She was weighed yesterday and was 5 kgs and 59 cm. She's putting on 100 grams a week. But the MCHN isn't worried. But it's weird for me cos I thought she'd be one of the bigger babies cos she started so big! The MCHN said that after birth babies tend to take after one of the parents. So I guess birth weight has nothing to do with weight gains afterwards!?

Hollye - :hug: I hope the paed can help.

amy - I agree with everyone that you're a normal first mum. I'm all over the place with my emotions! I just think motherhood is a roller coaster ride in itself! And as for DH helping out we discussed what he'd help with before the birth and now I do have to continually ask for things and remind him. Hopefully he'll get there eventually. :lol:

Sami - This has nothing to do with your story but for some reason your story about the mother swearing at her child reminded me of when I met a girl who was feeding her baby cola from a bottle!! Not milk or formula.. cola!

belfie - Good to hear that Xander is doing better. :)

PP - Did Ethan take a bottle? Or did you feed him from a cup?

just thought i would share this with you girls. i loved it.

Cherish This Time


So your baby is here!
What joy and what pleasure!
Now your life is expanding,
To make room for this treasure.


A darling newcomer
To have and to hold--
Her (His) smiles are more precious
Than silver or gold.


She’ll (He’ll) demolish your schedule
Though she’s helpless and small;
She’ll make her needs known,
And she’ll rule over all.


See, a new parent’s work
Is just never quite done,
But you’ll never mind,
‘Cause it’s all so much fun.


When you hear her cute giggle
You’ll start "aahing" and "oohing,"
And she’ll soon reply back
By "ga ga" and "goo gooing."


Those big innocent eyes
See a world strange and new;
To make sense of it all
She’ll look only to you.


So cherish this time
Of miraculous things--
The excitement and wonder
That a new baby brings.

Love the poem Hollye!!!
Too tried for personals tonight try again tomorrow!! :)
mwah all round

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

I've tried to post FOUR TIMES today & yesterday!!!! Each time my PC has rebooted totally or IE has crashed altogether (i.e. can't click "back"!!). I wanna new PC!!!!!!!

Ok dummy spit over now.

Happy friday to all. Just assume I said lovely things to you all, I'll type super quick.... Hollye - poem mwah. Tanya - OMG cola, birth size not related to growth... my DH 6'4" born 8lbs, only matters they're healthy & happy.

Us: still doing well, osteo yesterday X in good shape bit tight in mid-back due to growth spurt.
I'm running away before this dang thing can crash again!!!!!!

Yep he took a bottle.
I tried the cup but i think it was the same problem as boob - fast flow. SOi put him on a newborn (1) teat and he has to suck away hard to get it and i think he perfers that as he can guage how much he takes rather than it squirting in too fast making him choke and vomit.

Well i am going to try Boob today.. i am confused huh lol!!!

His poos were green this morning... It has been suggested for me to cut out dairy but omg i donthtink i could.!!!

Tanya - DD was 6 months before she hit 6kg like ethan already has at 3 months!!. I think girls are generally littlier (as a whole) and i remember DD would be lucky to put on 150-250gm a month when she was that little. I didnt worry though as her development was fine! I mean she is only 2 kg heavier now at 19months than her 6 month old cousin!


Not Oct Born related but wanted to share! DD slept in her big bed last night! woohoo!!!

Hope everyone is going well and had a sort of good night. It is pretty backward around here as Bethany sleeps great and I am the one waking constantly!!!

I think I have become addicted to flair on facebook....they are so cool....that is a side issue though!!

Hollye~~ Hows Mia going?? Not long till Tuesday now!

PP~~ Bottle is a good start, from what I have heard BF babies need the slowest of slow teats for a while.

Tanya~~ Seen that and a baby being feed KFC potato and gravy, little tacker couldn't have been more than about 5months. Also my pet peeve it the bottle proped up in the pram. Forward facing prams!! hello people how will you know if your baby is chocking!!! I have a reversable one so Bethany faces me at the moment, anyway I still wouldn't prop up her bottle!!!!

:hug: and hello to Katones, Sami and Belfie and anyone else I missed by accident.

Just a case of TMI here....I am in soooo much pain with my infection (for those who missed it at my pap smear they found an utrine infection.) I am not due for AF yet a couple of times a day I have blood on my panties or loo paper, not enough for a pad but enough to notice....What to do???
Sort it out before the weekend or wait till next week?

Amy - ill add you to facebook! lol

Post baby your period can be all over the place! so it may be the start of one but if you have an infection (uterine) then it could be from that to. If you are worried see your Dr - esp if the pain gets worse.

We are off the the park soon so Ashley can burn some energy. lol

We had a good night with ethan last night - inbed at 730pm and up at 530am :)

Well i have dr appointment soon for my pap (really over due lol.. but seeing i havebeen pretty much pregnant since 2006 what can you do lol). and going to get a copper IUD i have decided!

Not much to report here, Julian is rolling closer to his bars of his cot lately and is waking screaming. Was devasted yesterday when I couldn't get on BB, lol sad I know. Off to do some washing, it's going to be a stinker today.

hugs xoxo

Jack is such a wriggler in his sleep!!!! he is wrapped at night BUT is ALWAYS managing to wriggle one arm free which is the DAMN arm he knocks himself out with and then he wakes up!!!!! arrrrrrrrrrggggghhhhh :(

yes my boy is still wrapped and I plan to keep it that way for a while! :)

i wish he could sleep happily unwrapped..but he won't never has....

Hi... I'm recovering after my op. I think it all went well. DH has been looking after Byron, just bringing him to me to feed while I keep my leg elevated. He's been very unsettled but I guess that's to be expected as DH does EVERYTHING different to me. It's good for DH to know what I go through each & every day. I think he has a new found respect for what I do lol. I'm just enjoying the rest. DH has been cooking dinner, doing the dishes & making lunch. All while I kick back. I watched 4 movies yesterday lol.

I'm not in too much pain. Just have to be careful on how I sit so I don't put too much pressure on it. It's very swollen & bruised.

I've uploaded some pics of the damage

https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...day of surgery
https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...74 Taken today

I hope you all have a great weekend. It's gonna be 32 degrees here today. Time to bring out the air con.

Wow Georgi, I hope that you stay comfortable and off that leg.

Julian is wrapped day and night as well, as he won't sleep any other way, but he always manages to get an arm free and wiggle his way to the bars, little monkey he is.

hugs xoxo

Hollye - Loved the poem. :)

PP - That's great that he took a bottle. I remember you were saying you were having trouble getting him to have a bottle. Which bottle did you use? I'm using the Tommee Tippee with a newborn teat and now Maya seems to take it without too much fuss. :)

amy - I know what you mean about people propping up bottles in prams. That annoys me too. But OMG I can't believe someone would feed their baby KFC potato and gravy!

What's flair?

I hope you are feeling better soon! :hug:

katones - Maya often gets out of her wrap too. Sometimes I find her awake and grizzling because she's gotten out of her wrap and the blanket and is cold!

georgi - I hope you're not in too much pain!!

I've gotten Maya into bed by 9.30pm the last few nights, which is an improvement from 10.30pm! I hope to slowly move it earlier and earlier. At the moment she wakes at 5am but that's not too bad cos I usually can put her straight back down after the feed and then she sleeps till around 10am!

This afternoon I'm going to get some hearing tests done. I am slightly deaf in my left ear but during my pregnancy it got worse and drs thought it was a weird pregnancy thing. Well it hasn't gone away so I'm getting some tests done.

Ethan isnt wrapped at night. But he sleeps on his tummy so in effect it does the same job of security.

Georgi - ouch! how is it feeling this arvo?

We are just using the avent size 1. he prefers the bottle too! i wonder if i will cave and FF earlier than i want to... i was aiming for 6 months BF.....

funny that.... Jack used to happily tummy sleep...NOW..hah! awake straight away..lil bugger!!! he sleeps elevated on a boomerang pillow (don't flame me...paeds intructions!!) he is having a shiat day of drinking today..oh well he will drink more when he wants to....

Amy - i have sewn you 4 pairs of bloomers for Bethany.
Here they are here:

Bethany's bloomers front view

Bethany's bloomers Back view

I hope they fit :) will pop in the post tomorrow for you

MWAH!

geez PP you are talented girl!!!
Bethany is going to look sooo cute in them :D

babys being stinky today :( he'll drink out of bottle but not on boob, so ive jst been hand-expressing for him (too lazy to get pump) so i feel like a cow today LOL

btw hes a VERY stinky baby, his hands sweats & he sucks on them so it smells funny...