Babies born September 1st-15th 2008 #4

**indie24** · January 27th, 2010, 03:25 PM

Hi everybody. Boy its very quiet in here isn't it

Pam- it was so wonderful to meet you too. You were exactly as I thought. I am glad that you could use the clothes that I bought you. Sorry there wasn't more but it looks like Molly had more neutral stuff than girls stuff. Anything bigger than 000 is the wrong season. Not long until you meet your little girl now

Molly had been doing the screaming thing long before we went to my dad's unfortunately. She has stopped again and the only thing that stopped it was giving her evening milk drink in a bottle instead of a cup. We have stopped BFing so I think maybe this she missed the sucking and cuddles at night.

Lee- its great to see you again. Things must be very busy there now.

Niamh- well done on the healthy eating plan. Sounds like you are doing great. I have been seeing on the news about your cold snap over there. You and your family have been in our thoughts

As for news from here. Molly had her first haircut on Monday and now she looks like a real dork

MIL tells me off for calling her that but she does. We did have to get it cut though as it was in her eyes all the time but she wouldn't keep any clips or hair ties in.
Its been so cute watching Molly play ATM. She gets a spoon and cup and pretends to eat and you have to pretend as well. I got out the tea set that I had bought her for when she was older today because she was playing pretend so much

Hope you are all well

**blackduckies** · January 29th, 2010, 08:18 AM

Donna, don't worry about the bottle, they are only babies once..make the most of it.. I did the same with Poppy's hair and had it cut I'm with you she looks very dorky??? And I feel like I have sort of lost my baby, but like you had to be done it was sticking into her eyes. When she starts to leave clips in we will grow it out. The clothes are great more than enough...and knowing so far in advance I have been able to get lots of great/cheap bargains off ebay

in the next size..

Lee, thanks for looking out for me..you are one busy girl. Scares me a little which is silly given I am pretty flat out myself..just the thought of a newborn and sleepless nights and teaching DS to read count etc preppie this year I hope we can keep up??? I am glad Flynn is such a good baby..I can only hope, for the same!!!

Niamh, seeing the cold weather on T.V is mind blowing..I doubt I would cope, but I guess you get used to it, unless you don't have water etc for a month???? Good on you the weight loss is going great..always feels good when you get i the right mental place to do it and stick with it, I am hoping I can after bubs comes, but sometimes i have afew false starts before I get inot the right mindset.

I'm nearly 32 weeks, not long but seems so far away at the same time..nights are getting difficult, in that i'm restless and toss and turn and I feel big then I think how much more I have to grow yet!!!! I keep telling myslef to try to enjoy it, especially when I look at how fast life is flying by..it was only yesterday DS was born now he is off to school

very sad..and Miss Poppette my goodness we blinked and she went from a baby to a big girl.
Anyway off now, hope you are all going well, don't really see you alll around, I guess I am going into different forums, never enough time when you get in here, the hours just fly by and I don't have many spare these days and soon going to be a lot less. xxxxxx Pam.

**Niamh75** · January 30th, 2010, 01:25 AM

Pam time is just going way to quick, I keep looking at Eireann and thinking she is growing before my eyes. the cold has eased a bit but its snowing again in some parts today very cold today even for me and I dont mind it to much when your all wrapped up for it . you do adapt and get used to it all right . the list is endless what wrong here in Ireland at the minute its very disheartning I am so worried about the kids getting sick or me or DH our health care is terrible it takes ages to get a hospital appointment if you need one so sadly I think people with cancer are passing away because by the time they see a specialist its to late. a disgrace we are a first world country.oooh and Facebook Pam that way we can keep in touch here a link to my page ok
Login | Facebook

indie24 thanks its so easy now with DH doing it with me we are motivating each other I weighed my self this morning and I have lost 2pounds so im delighted Im enjoying it so that the main thing. Eireann needs to grow some hair Im living for it she has so little its a joke LOL but if it was in her eyes you have to do it and it will grow again !

for us Eireann and Shane got the swine flu jab I hope the are ok after so far so good ! I have my first proper night out with DH on saturday we will be away for the night I got new shoes and a handbag for a great deal 13 euro so about 23 dollare or there abouts I wont be able to walk by the time the evening over.

Oh and we are planning our retun trip back to Australia take us a year to save up I think but dont know how long we will stay but I am looking forward to it , there is so much I want to see and do.

take care ladies

**ezymay** · February 9th, 2010, 07:41 PM

Hi ladies...its so quiet in here these days! Busy little beavers we are

Can you belive our bubs are nearly 18 months old!!!! It just blows my mind. I hope everyone is well.

Well our household has been struck by the dreaded gastro!! I hope that's it for a while. Poor Em's bum

she screams at nappy change time. DH has gone back to work so we are slowly getting into the daycare/work routine. Its quite an adjustment but we'll ge there. Em is so unhappy when I drop her off, it breaks my heart. The carer says she is fine when i go but its still hard.

Donna congrats on the RAK!!! That is very cool

Pam you are getting closer and closer!! How are things going?

**blackduckies** · February 11th, 2010, 08:50 PM

Hi girls doing well, nearly 34 weeks my ticker seems a bit slow???
I feel good, healthy and no aches and pains, best of all I can walk normally well most of the time, there are lots of of ouchies down below, baby girl takes alot of pleasure in bouncing up and down at inapppriatie times like when I 'm out shopping or trying to get kids to school or kindy.
My OB forgot to tell me he was leaving before baby is born so its been a last minute scramble to get into another one and all my plans are up in the air, we were planning on going into labour and seeing how things went, the new one wants me to book a CS straight away, I really would like to wait until my baby decides she wants to come, the last thing we need is breathing problems etc on top of her kidney issues.

Ezymay, the dreaded gastro we have been really lucky and the kids have never had it..but with school, kindy etc..I am not sure how long we will stay as lucky...it freaks me out big time!!!!

Niamh I must follow your link I am so lazy and jsut can't be bothered to join FB, currently I am nesting and selling heaps on ebay, just the need to get the house sorted and cleaned up before bubs arrives and the bit of extra $$$ is good as well.

Us, Poppy is walking everywhere now and getting very cheeky and naughty, still not talking but that might be good, she shakes her head a lot, so I guess she would be telling me NO..which would'nt go down well currently. DH has still got live sperm, 7 months after his vasectomy???? WTF!!! so there is no way he coming near me after this baby is born..he is kind of pleased with himslef, well see how pleased he is when there is no DTD

DS is doing well at school an dhappy, so that makes me more rrelaxed and DD loves kindy and made some really close friends already, one who will go to the same school next year, I can see lifelong friendships developing, they are very like minded little girls.

Keep a look out for my BA, its coming along quickly, I nearly can't believe it myself. Catch you all soon, I have another US next week so will pop a photo into the first part of my ticker, so you can all get a look at my precious girl.
xxx Pam.

**Visitor8** · March 11th, 2010, 08:08 PM

Hi girls. I am so sorry I haven't been in here for a while

TBH I haven't really had anything nice to say. I was very over 'life' in general. I am now single, after a lot of ups and downs, and expecting to bring this little life into the world in 12 weeks on my own ... I am looking into a doula at the moment, but in general freaking out. I had so many things on layby for bubs, I had to cancel them all because the 'sperm donor' isn't being helpful at all so I am feeling very stressed and upset about getting things for him and wondering how it is all going to work out. All I wished was to set up a little corner in my room in 'nursery' style and it's all fallen apart, I don't know why it's upset me so much but it has. I had to take a FVO against his father, he was arrested last night for breaching it (42 abusive and just down right nasty text messages in less than a day) It's all been very upsetting and stressful Not at all what I wanted for this pregnancy.

However I am feeling a little more cheery at the moment. Excited (and very scared) about the impending birth! I can't remember when my last update in here was but I am having another little boy, Levi Flynn is going to be his name, and he is measuring smaller than Ashton (11lbs) which is awesome I had my first team midwifery appointment the other week, where I got to hear his little heart beat and I got approved for a water birth in the hospital! So I am very excited

When I say to Ashton "where's your bubby?" he rubs my belly and kisses it The older boys are very excited, and talk about having another baby all the time. I don't know what I would do without them, honestly.

My mum is moving back to Singapore (where she lives with my step dad) in a couple of weeks so I am really sad. She has been with me for all the boys births, and my sisters 2 births also. This will be the only grandbaby she misses the birth of. However, she really has to go back as my step dad needs an operation on his heart and she's spent the last 20 months here in Australia ... a long time to be away from your partner!

My SPD has come back raging and worse than it was with Ashton... so hard running around with the kids, and their activities, doing everything on my own... the pain is ridiculous. I have a physio appt soon can't wait for it. I really HATE Levis father for doing all this and leaving me like this to do it all on my own :'(

Sorry this is such a crappy poor me post.

Ashton is growing and changing before my eyes! He talks so much... somewhere between 50 and 60 words!! He runs and jumps and dances and is such a joy!! He just broke through a molar today, and the only sign he was even teething was dribbling! I love his teething necklace! So now he has 4 top teeth, 4 bottom front teeth and a pointy molar poking through hehe

I would really love to share some photos of Ashton with you. I am feeling very lovey dovey towards him today

Melissa Abbott's Photos - My Beautiful Boys <3 | Facebook
Melissa Abbott's Photos - March 2010 | Facebook
Melissa Abbott's Photos - Feb album 2 | Facebook
Melissa Abbott's Photos - January 2010 | Facebook

And just because I can't believe he did it... here he is opening the babygate

Log In | Facebook

I'm now subscribed to this thread hehe so I will be back in more regularly

**ezymay** · March 11th, 2010, 08:45 PM

I was just coming in here to post how super quiet we had all been and to say hi so it was great to see you had posted Mel. I'm sorry things haven't work out with Levi's "sperm donor" How awful to need to take out an AVO!!! Hopefully you can get some peace soon and and can enjoy the rest of the pregnancy. Levi is a very cool name. I like it. Sad your mum is leaving too. Its ok to have a poor me post you have had a pretty rough time of it by the sounds of things.
Ashton is a real cutie!! They grow up so fast don't they.

Oh Pam only about 2 weeks to go!!!! I hope you are well and I can wait to see your BA!!

Well Emily is going great guns... well and truly experiencing terrible 2s already. She has whinging down pat, I am really trying to be patient but some days its hard..I don't mind going to work sometimes but then cant wait to see her. I do love pick up time when she runs to me and gives me a great big cuddle. She is a bit of a crack up. I posted her air guitar work on FB recently, I jsut laugh and laugh when she does that. 18 months where does the time go??? Must be time for another one

**Visitor8** · March 11th, 2010, 08:51 PM

oh do it! You know you want another one!!

Air guitar hey?? Got a link?? hehe

I know all about the wonderful tantrums lol Ashton seems to know how to throw a good one about once a week! He is a bit of a whinger when he doesn't get what he wants too hehe Nothing a cuddle can't fix. He makes me laugh so hard with his tantrums because he will often stomp his feet, flail his arms and turn in a circle.. it's a funny sight.

Does anyone have a climber? Ashton is always climbing on something, up on the computer table, top of the couch, can climb ladders and gets on the bench!! I gave up so have been teaching him to get down safely ... so far so good he hasn't fallen!

Anyone doing toilet awareness or tt'ing? Ashton always takes his nappy off... pain in the butt... so I got the potty out a while ago and have just had it there, when he would wee or poop on the floor I would say "whoopsie do it on the potty" and he's started to! So far in the last week we have had 3 nappy free afternoons and he has used it about 80% of the time, including poos. I am in no rush to tt, he has too many cute nappies hehe and it's a pain when we are out with me being so fat and not able to rush to a toilet when he starts his "yucky MUM YUCKY' yell lol I usually only have max 30 seconds to get him to a potty when he yells that to me.

**Niamh75** · March 12th, 2010, 02:06 AM

Mel so great to see you here, I was wondering were you had gone and all was OK with you Gosh I think the last time I remember you posting was just after you found out you were Pregnant, Sounds like you have had an awful time of it, how sad that it all turned sour did he get cold feet! you must have been broken hearted after all you went through before. don't be a stranger now and vanish on us we are here to listen to you on good and bad days

I love your pictures your boys are so cute they have amazing eyes, you must be so proud

Pam hun how are you doing will you get a chance to go natural I agree with you the last thing you wee little girl needs is added breathing problems on top of every thing else. some day I will get you on facebook

How is every one else doing, we have been plodding along.. I have had a hospital appointment for a strange lump on my nose they have mentioned there could be a chance it could be cancer I say its not just some mad cyst or something (fingers crossed) I am now waiting on a appointment to have it removed and hopefully sooner rather than later.

OOOH and I'm so clucky its really creeping up on me and driving me mad as not a chance DH is so sure we are finished we would need to win the lotto LOL.

**Visitor8** · March 12th, 2010, 06:12 AM

oh I hope your lump turns out to be nothing!!

No he didn't get cold feet, he turned abusive

We had a lot of issues anyways that reared their head in the last 6 months, cheating etc but we were working at fixing those problems. Then he left bruises on my arms new years day when he wouldn't let me go, followed me around yelling horrible things to me and yelled in my face while I was holding poor Ash. He didn't take it to well, nightmares for 3 days and would only sleep if I was cuddling him

Was heartbreaking. That's when I took the FVO out, we tried to work on it again because I didn't want to be doing this on my own, but things turned bad a little while ago when he decided getting drunk is more important than coming home to us

I just couldn't take anymore.

http://livelaughandlove2010.blogspot.com/ my blog if you read blogs

Make sure you pop a comment so I can follow your blog too!

**Visitor8** · March 12th, 2010, 06:13 AM

oh I hope your lump turns out to be nothing!!

No he didn't get cold feet, he turned abusive

We had a lot of issues anyways that reared their head in the last 6 months, cheating etc but we were working at fixing those problems. Then he left bruises on my arms new years day when he wouldn't let me go, followed me around yelling horrible things to me and yelled in my face while I was holding poor Ash. He didn't take it to well, nightmares for 3 days and would only sleep if I was cuddling him

Was heartbreaking. That's when I took the FVO out, we tried to work on it again because I didn't want to be doing this on my own, but things turned bad a little while ago when he decided getting drunk is more important than coming home to us

I just couldn't take anymore.

http://livelaughandlove2010.blogspot.com/ my blog if you read blogs

Make sure you pop a comment so I can follow your blog too!

**Niamh75** · March 12th, 2010, 10:16 PM

oh I hope your lump turns out to be nothing!!

No he didn't get cold feet, he turned abusive

We had a lot of issues anyways that reared their head in the last 6 months, cheating etc but we were working at fixing those problems. Then he left bruises on my arms new years day when he wouldn't let me go, followed me around yelling horrible things to me and yelled in my face while I was holding poor Ash. He didn't take it to well, nightmares for 3 days and would only sleep if I was cuddling him

Was heartbreaking. That's when I took the FVO out, we tried to work on it again because I didn't want to be doing this on my own, but things turned bad a little while ago when he decided getting drunk is more important than coming home to us

I just couldn't take anymore.

Live, Laugh And Love my blog if you read blogs

Make sure you pop a comment so I can follow your blog too!

OH wow you poor thing

but fair play to you for standing up for your self and your boys! I admire you

I would'nt feel guilty for giving him that second chance I know I wouldnt want to be on my own either !

Im going to read your blog, I started one before but gave up LOL I have awful grammer!

**Visitor8** · March 13th, 2010, 05:57 AM

Thanks for your lovely comments Niamh xo You should blog

It can be a wonderful outlet for all sorts of things. My last blog, which I put on private as J was stalking it, was better. I had all sorts, recipes, pics, brag posts haha

Ash woke up screaming last night

Poor poppet. I keep thinking it's his molar because he goes back to sleep with minimal effort after cuddles. Now I am thinking maybe it's stress related? Maybe he has picked up some worry from all that's happened. Sadly all the times Jamie left was at night after the kids went to bed so they would wake up and he just wouldn't be here anymore. I hope that isn't the problem. Poor thing, would be so hard for him to understand. He's been doing other things, like hitting himself in the head with his hands when he is angry or upset

Has anyone had the 18mo needles? I am unsure if I am going to give them to Ash. I think it's just the chickenpox vax isn't it??

**cheekyfrog** · March 13th, 2010, 10:08 PM

Sorry everyone for not having posted for such a long time. I never seem to have the time I need to do a decent post so I keep promising myself "next time".

Mel, I'm so sorry that your relationship with Levi's father has gone so pear shaped. And to have to say goodbye to your mother so soon before Levi's birth must have been really hard. I wish I lived closer to lend you some support, as little as it might be. I know how hard it is when you feel alone and lonely. I hope that you have some girlfriends nearby who will be able to be there for you - we all need help sometimes! I like the name Levi, too. Coincidentally, one of my teacher friends has three little boys. The youngest is named Levi. He turns 1 on Tuesday. The eldest is named Ashton and the middle one's name is Elijah.

Niamh, I'm keeping everything crossed that your lump is nothing sinister. Hope you get that appointment soon and an answer quickly. No one needs those sorts of worries! Big hugs!

Erin, I just loved the air guitar video you put on FB - Em looked sooooooo cute and it was so funny. Matthew has been trying to jump and his little runs and leaps are also very funny. I often wish that I was only working part time so that I could see more of him during the day. The weekends go too quickly.

Pam, that's such bad luck about your ob leaving just before you're due. Didn't something similar happen before Poppy's birth? How early does the new one want to set a CS date? You sure don't need that stress. I've been thinking of you often, wondering how you're going. I have to say that I have moments where I wish I were giving DS a little brother or sister but I am still only just barely coping on my own with one child and full time work.

Donna, how's Molly going now with sleeping? It's a rare night that I get DS off to sleep before 8 and I often fall asleep feeding him. Waking up at 2am and then getting things ready for the morning is killing me! I'm a bit clueless about how to fix this problem though.

Lee, lovely to get an update - I bet you're busy!! Would love to see photos of Flynn and Remy now. I don't suppose you're on FB, are you?

I've got DS booked in for his 18 month needle Tuesday week, not sure whether to take the day off for this event. Any advice? He had his 18 month check up with the local MCHN too last Wednesday and is now a hefty 13.6kg. I can't walk very far with him in the Ergo (he often lunges sideways and backwards) and if I put him in the backframe carrier, I feel like I could easily topple over. I'm just too short! Letting him walk would be the answer except that he likes to plonk himself down and refuses to move and carries on if I pick him up and carry him. So my poor dog isn't getting much of a walk these days unless I put DS in the stroller. Need to think of some new tactics!

**Niamh75** · March 13th, 2010, 10:29 PM

Thanks for your lovely comments Niamh xo You should blog

It can be a wonderful outlet for all sorts of things. My last blog, which I put on private as J was stalking it, was better. I had all sorts, recipes, pics, brag posts haha

Ash woke up screaming last night

Poor poppet. I keep thinking it's his molar because he goes back to sleep with minimal effort after cuddles. Now I am thinking maybe it's stress related? Maybe he has picked up some worry from all that's happened. Sadly all the times Jamie left was at night after the kids went to bed so they would wake up and he just wouldn't be here anymore. I hope that isn't the problem. Poor thing, would be so hard for him to understand. He's been doing other things, like hitting himself in the head with his hands when he is angry or upset

Has anyone had the 18mo needles? I am unsure if I am going to give them to Ash. I think it's just the chickenpox vax isn't it??

I remember your other blog, I read it as well

I would say its more you and how your feeling he is picking up on and he has had change with J gone but also a new baby on the way. DS3 was the same ages as Ash when I was due Eireann and he had moments like that, I think you are doing the right thing though I would take him up as well and cuddle him he might just need reasurance and it will pass. on the hitting himself thats fustration as he cant express himself properly with words yet or he is not getting what he wants I think that to will pass given time. nothing TLC wont cure and I know Ash and his brothers will deffo get that

.
well thats my tenpence worth not sure if its any good but there you are LOL

any one else have any Ideas!

Pam hope all is ok, any one heard any thing yet!

Oh and I did it posted on my blog for the first time ever LOL http://thekellyclanmovetooz.blogspot.com/

**Visitor8** · March 14th, 2010, 08:39 AM

I wouldn't take the whole day off Kerry. They are usually over it pretty quickly

Nothing a lolly pop can't fix hehe

I am ringing to book Ash in for his check up on Monday. He is 15kg Kerry so enjoy that 13kg haha Ash is such a lug. I can't carry him anymore in the ergo because of my SPD playing up, so he has been walking everywhere. Can you try coaxing him to walk a little way. All sorts of things help when Ash is over it. We do the 'dinosaur stomp", you know the one from playschool "do the dinosaur stomp stomp stomp stomp, dance dino dance dino stomp stomp stomp...", balance on the edge of the footpath, play racing games. He usually forgets he was protesting after a couple of minutes. I was really impressed with him the other day! We went to town on the bus at 9am, he walked around all day, missed his 3 hour nap at 11am, and kept on walking until we got home at 4.30. I only carried him for about 30 minutes of the whole day! Haven't done it again though, poor thing was exhausted lol

Well last night he woke up crying again, but he is sick so I think that's why. I am wearing a constant snot trail and we haven't left the house all weekend. Poor thing was all croaky in the middle of the night so I gave him some cuddles and half a bottle of milk and he went to sleep. He's stopped hitting himself, well he didn't do it at all the last 2 days so hopefully it's stopped.

He is being so funny this morning... he's walking around counting "ahhh twoooo, threeee, ooooo, eeeeee" LOL he's also learnt 3 animal sounds in the last few days. He does "ROOOOAR" for a dinosaur, "ooof" for a dog and makes the trunk and trumpet sound for an elephant

So that is 5 now . He also does moooooo and eeeeooooww for cow and cat but has done those for a few months now. It's funny how they will learn nothing new for weeks then it clicks and they have learnt it all!

Off to read your blog

**blackduckies** · March 15th, 2010, 09:49 PM

I'm still around,
Mel sorry to hear things turned out this way, it sounded so promising..and your mum having to leave now, just makes it harder. I thought I read in anorther post the baby is going to be called Eli??? am I going insane??

Niamh, hope th ething on your nose is nothing, but great that it is coming off now, so many people wait??? Big DD is moving home for 10 weeks so she can help me set up a FB page, how often I will update who knows but at least its a start.

Kerry, have it done (imms late arvo) he will sleep through the worst of it, I must get Poppy done before bubs arrives..

Donna hope all is well all the clothes are rewashed ready to go, thanks so much again.

Ezymay, terrible 2's already DS did that, then he was pretty good when the other kids were goign through it.
Lee hope baby Flynn is doing well, as well as Remy and your big kids, I guess you are run off your feet.
Hi to the rest of you girls, hope all is well???
I really thought with this baby i would go early, being so busy with school/ kindy runs and Poppy running around, I still have 2 weeks to go but it feels like it is never going to happen.. I feel pretty good just keen to meet this special princess and a bit worried about her. I had a meltdown inthe docs office today and pretty much stormed out in tears, so embrassing!!! He sees it all as B&W I see the grey areas, he views it as VBAC or CS??? I want to hedge my bets, I don't want to put bubs health or mine at risk by going with a VBAC that is'nt working out amd I'm not keen to CS..if I VBAC he will leave me to go 10 days overdue which could be around 15 days cause they are using a later EDD..I am not keen on that, getting a bit far over for my liking, if I elect to CS he wants to do it 2 weeks before, whcih woud be next week by their dates. He is'nt supportive of the VBAC but will go with it as long as I am prepared to take the risk??? He loves to tell me all the things that can and do go wrong and scare the s*** out of me and is sending me for a scan to see how big the baby is!!! Iguess he is hoping she is big and then I don't have the option. I kind of thought I would labour for a few hours and have a good idea of how things were going by then eg: progress or not, appasrently that won't be my call he is the specialist and he will decide if I am truely in labour and if I need to CS or not, if things are slow he can't see a reason not to wait an extra 4 hours or so to ssee how things are going..as far as I can see, going by my other labours it is either progressing or not. With Poppy I was 2 cms at 7pm and 3cm at 4am when I had the CS by then my cervix was swollen and floppy (I'm not sure what that means excatlly but does'nt sound like anymore was going to happen) with a bad back labour an dlots of blood gushing each contraction apparently he thinks i could ahve waited until the morning for the CS???? I have to say I wonder ifmaybe i should just book and go ahead with the CS just because its easier, but a VBAC would be so much better for me and my family..I want to go home to be with my kids, verus days in hospital and weeks of recovery, i want to pick Poppy up, take the kids to school/kindy get back to my life, not stuck at home for 4 weeks relying on someone else to do everything. I don't want to lay on atable and let someone cut my tummy open while I'm awake even if it is to meet my baby unless it is completely nessecary!!! Oh my gosh this sound s so much like last time... and yes my doc did leave last time and another one has done it to me this time, geez I hate men sometimes!!! Talking about hating men DH still has a sperm count all these months on after his VAS..he is so proud of himself, I told him the other day he won't be feeling so pleased when its a no go zone after baby arrives, I WILL NOT do this again....I love the babies, but not the worries that come with it.
Anyway thats my rant I feel a bit better now, even if I am still confused, anyone want to give birth for me!!!?????