Babies Born ~ March 1st-15th 2010 #2

Update - Just put him down for a cot nap, and success! He finally he seems to be settling in it! I did add some music, and a pillow alongside(he likes to snuggle into me) to try and trick him, but hey whatever works!

Deedles - I also had some blue days recently... sounds like its a 3 month thing if we are all having something similar?

LJ - Happy B-day

Cass - Yep, me to on the shocker nights lately

QB - Fab news... maybe we will all be as lucky soon!

Shell - Ive been worried about mine returning soon (nothing yet) so bummer on that news. Hopefully you adjust quickly to having a cycle again, but its gotta suck with such a young bub. :(

Okay time for feeling sorry for myself.......

I made dinner and well, DH took about 3 bites and said, I don't think I'll eat this. I asked what's wrong with it and he said that he didn't know he just didn't want to eat it. Okay he does have a sensitive stomach but it was just lamb and barley stew with veges. Nothing OTT. Earlier we were out picking out some furniture and well I couldn't make up my mind. I'm sure I'm starting to bug him. He's forever asking me what's wrong and I keep telling him I'm fine. He reckons that I'm quiet. I don't know, maybe I am. But then when he gets home from work and I start talking to him I feel like I should shut up because I just go on and on - probably due to lack of being able to talk to big people - I even say, okay I'll shut up now. I know that he has people at him all day and I feel bad about rambling on. Am I depressed? I don't know. I don't feel depressed, but I don't feel ecstatic either. I better go, it's time to join DH on the couch and watch some telly.

Hi Everyone

Please stop being so hard on yourselves :) this is such a hard job being a mummy and we all need to take some time out to just sit back and breathe .
I sometimes feel that i am depressed but dont feel it , just like you said Cass, its understandable to feel this way being sleep deprived and having such a young little mini person needing us for everything,and even more so if your like me who has a baby who will almost only settle with mum.
You are all doing such a great job, i dont have time to post much anymore but i do make the effort to come on and read everything you all say :)

Happy bday LJ

Now with the flat head SO not your fault hun, u didnt put your baby down and say thats it i am going to make u lay on your back untill u get a bit flat on your head, you dodnt do anything intentional ..Hannah has so much tummy time, coz she loves it and is not on her back all day biut she has a little bit of flat head as well, i really think it cant be helped sometimes with babies , it will go away :)

Hannah is teething we believe , poor poor littlegirl its been hard , i feel so sorry for her i just wish i could tell her what is happening u know?
she just wants to chew on everything
I just wish we could work out why she cant sleep well at night sometimes, she knows how to self settle as when we put her down she often wakes up but can go back to sleep, sometimes i see her wake up look away and stuf but go back to sleep which i like and makes me feel good that she can .
We put her in her pram capsule which lifts out and put it in the cot last night and she slept soooo well, i think coz she was all cocooned in there and snug. but she cant sleep in that every night so i dont know how to create this for her in her cot, she loves sleeping on me and would all night if i would let her but i struggle to sleep in the one position for two long or everything aches

I am clue less, she has a night time routine , she has her naps when she needs them during the day , i just dont know..she sleeps in the pram or swing during the day but i have started to make her sleep for her afternoon nap in the cot as its nice and bright in there, she sleeps but not for to long , i want her used to thecot more, she will self settle her self in there

Is everyone still wrapping bubs up? we use sleeping bag or wrapping depends what mood Hannah is in..

Yeh regarding the period i hate it lol, it was ok i just hope i dont get them like i used to, which was extreme pain vomiting major mood swings and just feeling awful and depressed:(

How are you all going with ppl holding your baby? like when family or someone holds Hannah and she starts getting worked up or crying i just want to take her back as i knwow hats wrong with her u know like wond needs sleep hungry etc and i hate seeing her cry... i find it so hard when this happens and i dont know how to nicely take her or ask for her and stuff, i do in the end coz i cant stand to see her crying and looking at me :(

I had potato bake the other night with a lot of cream and for the next two days Hannah has the most awful green poos, i dont normally eat much dairy as it doesnt agree with me and i dont think it agrees with Hannah either ..

Forgot to say Cass i do the same when DF comes home o cant stop talking and i say it too oh ill shut up now but i cant help it its someone big to talk to ..

Did he say why he didnt want to eat the dinner?

i also get times when i just want to be left alone and dont want to talk and stuff i dont know why, i just tell DF sometimes i just need some time out

An update......

Well I did end up talking to DH. He's worried about me. He thought I wasn't happy with him. I think my main problem is that I have this massive guilt thing because, I don't really want to be over here (in the West). It's not that I don't like it, just that I would like to be closer to my family (well my parents). The guilt is coming from the fact that I know that DH will miss his kids when/if we go back East and I know how much they enjoy (and need) having him close by - even if we don't get to see them very often. His family aren't really that supportive, in fact they aren't at all. No one kept in contact with me when DH was away even though I'd just had a baby. I love my husband so much and I feel terrible that I'm not happy and in turn making him unhappy. Hurting him just makes me feel worse. If we stay here I don't know what I'll do about work. I don't want to work too far away. In Canberra childcare is available at my work so it wouldn't be like I was leaving bubs each day - he'd be coming to work with me.

I need to take a big dose of positive.....

Shell, he didn't want dinner because he wasn't feeling that great (ha-ha-ha!! my paranoia is just the worse!!).

Also, LOL people holding your baby :o ........ NO ONE except DH, DS and DSD have held bubs (oh and mum and dad when they were here). We visited my SIL in hospital a couple of weeks back and I only got him out of his pram to feed him. I didn't even offer her a cuddle.

DH makes my problems seem silly - as soon as I open up to him I feel better and realise that I was fussing over nothing (see PARANOIA above!).

I cant believe his family didnt keep in contact ..u had a baby !!!!!!!!!
dont worry i get that DF family didnt keep in contact and either- peaved me off DF has to say something to them..

When are u planning on going back to work?
I understand that he needs to be with is kids but you need your family as well so its a hard one , and i dont have any advise at all .. I find it good to open up as well to DF sometimes i have all this build up of stuff and i feel i need to get it out as DF thinks he has done something wrong as well, i find it hard to get everything out that i want to say so i take my time and write him as email that way i can think about what i want to say and what im feeling and i dont stumble on my words or forget stuff , works for me :) of course we still talk to each other about stuff in person but this is just when i have major build up

Hi ladies. Haven't had much of a chance to reply for a few days and now I feel really behind! I feel like I haven't had much time at all lately. I have been going out a lot so I don't have to look at the messy house and also to get much needed contact with other adults plus to get DD out so she's not bored at home all day. The only problem is I get so behind with the washing etc because I'm not here. I guess it's a small price to pay for sanity.

You girls that are feeling down - do you have good girl-friends that you can talk to and hang out with when you're having a bad day? I've finally (after almost 3 yrs) got a great possy of girls that I couldn't manage without. Two of them have babies the same age as Toby and sometimes it's just great toknow that we're all dealing with the same stuff. I think it's so vital to have a couple of friends you can be completely honest with.

I've been feeling extra tired and finding that I start getting in a bad head space when I'm so exhausted. I think the broken nights sleep are catching up and I'm terrible at going to bed early. I really need to force myself to get to bed as I enjoy the evenings so much but pay for it the next day. Low iron levels and a very heavy period isn't helping either :rolleyes: I think the 3 month blues are probably a combination of tiredness and adjusting to the gorgeous but demanding additions to our lives. The "newness" has kind of faded now and all reserves are used up so I guess it's natural to feel a bit off. I had PND with my DD and it really crept up on me but you all sound like you're well aware of it. My only advice is to seek help from your GP if you feel like the cloud's not lifting. It's so much better to get on to these things early... trust me! Also, my PND manifested as extreme tiredness and a lack of motivation to do anything good for myself. I didn't necessarily feel "depressed". Just something to think about.

It was my 30th birthday yesterday and we have our weekend on Moreton Island starting on Saturday. I'm so excited but also a little bit tired at the thought of packing everything up and getting there. I'm going to delegate lots of the packing to DH - I usually do all of it but I'm going to pull the 'it's my birthday' card!

Toby's doing really well. Laughing, sucking/chewing his hands and anyone else's he can get in his mouth, sleeping pretty well at night and generally being gorgeous. He's shocking at sleeping during the day and doesn't do more than an hour at a time (and that's unusual - more often 20 mins). He goes to bed about 7pm, wakes for a feed about midnight (sometimes I wake him just before I go to bed) and again anytime between 3 and 6am. He then will sleep until about 8.30 am if he gets the chance. DD just can't wait for him to wake up so he often ends up being woken earlier than if the house was quiet. I really don't mind the night feeds because he's in my bed and I just feed him and we go straight back to sleep. I actually kinda like the sleepy feeds - he's all snuggly and he cuddles in and smells like a yummy, warm baby :heartbeat: There's nothing nicer, sigh.

Cass - all the best with the decision to move or not. At the end of the day both you and your DH have the right to be happy with where you're living and it's just not an easy one aye? Is your DH back for good now? No more trips away? And for what it's worth, don't be too hard on yourself. They're big issues that you have on your mind and it's not possible to feel positive all of the time :hug:

Polly - not sure if you're back yet but hope you survived the cold in NZ! Especially down south. The winters there are brutal.

Shell - I think Toby's starting to get sore gums too. Dribbling lots and chewing on anything he can get in his mouth. I read somewhere that their teeth are starting to move now - may not come up for a while but they may be on their way.
I'm okay with people holding Toby but I will take him back if he's upset. He's a real mummy's boy!
We wrap Toby to get him off to sleep at night but as he's in our bed I unwrap his arms when I put him down as it's not recommended to have them wrapped if they're co-sleeping.

LJ - Happy birthday!

A while back someone was interested in the book I've been reading but I can't remember who it was... maybe Lou? Anyway I've been meaning to expand on it but haven't had time/brain power but if you let me know if you're still interested I can PM you with more details. It's really fascinating - lots of really well researched information on babies brains and the importance of early experiences in building healthy attachment. Not just good for babies though - it's relevant to all ages.

Ok, must go. Trying to get an early night tonight.

Hope you all have a good night.

Things have been busy here so I haven't been able to get on here till now. I have now read everyone's posts.

Happy Birthday to the birthday girls.

LJ- I'm not sure if there is a trick, I think I have been blessed with good sleepers (DH is a good sleeper) I follow the feed, play, sleep routine, make sure he has a full feed put him to bed after he has been awake for an hour(he starts to yawn as soon as we get in the bedroom, so cute) and have him sleep in his cot. When he was little I had him in bed with me if he wouldn't settle but I can't sleep with him in bed.
Deedles- Since we started him on an antacid the reflux doesn't bother him as much but it does upset him a little. He should grow out of the stridor at around 12 months.

Jandals- I would love to get the name of that book.

My friend highly recommended that we see a pead chiropractor to help with the reflux. We saw him on Tuesday and he said that Tobi's neck was out and did an adjustment. He screamed which I am a little unhappy about but I think we will persist because if it works it will be life changing. We have to go back two more times. Tobi has been very unsettled during the day since then but I think it is a coincidence, I think he is teething. He had really red cheeks today but no temp. and was gnawing his fist. Poor thing. I remember DD teethed from 3 months and didn't get any teeth till 6 months. Fun times ahead.

This small window is making replies hard.

Have a great long weekend.

Bree - I don't have a solution for the cot except keeping them snuggled in - just like you did with the pillow. If you come up with something that works - let me know.

Cass - No wonder you feel down as you are tired, exhausted and very isolated. I understand re the family (although mine are a lot closer than yours) and the in laws only contacting through your partner. I would love to have my sister, in particular, closer. If you had a ****ty day - she would just pop in with dinner. Even my SIL - brother's partner - puts Soph to sleep when they visit (which is rare)....but DH's family (while only ten minutes away) are very hands off! It is also hard moving to a new area and having to make friends...I understand this as we have only been here for 3 years (and moved 4 times in the previous 7 years prior with work). This is a real issue for me too...Good luck with it all...Keep your head up!!

Shell - My son slept in the car capsule for his day sleeps until he wouldn't fit in it anymore .... and my nephew slept (all sleeps) in his rocker until he was 9 months!! Do what works...I just have to find what works for Soph (other than me!!!)..Re other people holding Soph - as soon as she grizzles I just go over and take her and say "feed/sleep time".

Jandals -I agree re the messy house a small price for your insanity....was my doctors words to me too!! Have a great weekend!! Oh - and I was the person who asked about the book...would love the name.

QB - Yes ... teething is a long and shocking run...was just thinking that this week (remembering back to DS). Good luck with the paed chiro...I think I should have taken my son who had a vac delivery and screamed consistently....but too late now...he is two!!

Plugging away here and looking forward to the long weekend. I got my first real extended giggles from Soph in the bath last night...Yay!!! Daddy gets them but they were my first. Toddler at kindy today..so better go clean the house and do washing...arg!!! But planning on watching a DVD snuggled on the couch with Soph later before I have to pick toddler up...

have a lovely long weekend all.

Hannah has a cold- i feel so sorry for her she sounds awful,any good tips on dealing with a baby cold?

Have you got any of that vicks baby balsam? I put a daub of it on the outside of Robert's blanket when I swaddle him at night. It's not overpowering and seems to help keep his nose clear. Other than that a vaporiser and loads of cuddles.

Oh I also found he wouldn't feed properly so it was lots of small feeds to keep up his fluids. I think it was a comfort thing too. I spent the worst night of his cold sitting on the lounge with him propped up on my chest dozing in between feeds. We just have to ride these things out.

Just a quick reply while I have a few minutes.

Deedles - I think it was you with the flat head issue? Lacie has a flat spot on her head too. The physio picked it up at her appoinment a couple of weeks ago, I felt so bad as I didn't notice it at all. To be honest though I still can't really see it. Its about the size of a 20 cent piece, I wouldn't have seen it at all if the physio hadn't found it. Its so common these days though with the anti SIDS sleep positions etc so please don't beat yourself up about it. The reason every healthcare person who sees a baby checks for it is because it happens so often.

In relation to the PND - two pieces of advice I've been given along the way were:

1. your partner is more likely to notice it than you are, as its easy to put it down to tiredness/new mum dramas/etc when its yourself but others may notice your mood change way before you do.

2. It's okay to have bad days, or bad weeks. But if you start having bad months then it could be the beginning of depression so seek help.

Much love to all of you who are struggling at the moment. You are doing an amazing job. Being a mum is harder than I ever imagined, but it is also one of the most rewarding things we can ever do. Love your babies and try to stay positive through the yucky times, we have just created entire humans inside our wombs. How awesome are we?! xxx

HI all,
Just back from ammoth trip, 6 flightsin two weeks, Melbourne and NZ with my babies. They did me proud, were amazing and I loved catching up with lots of family and showing off my kids. Last two nights have been awful sleep wise and I am buggered. Will acth up on posts soon.
My Baby fat removal plan now has to kick into action, on one plane I needed a seat belt extender. Mortified. Ah well, its does not define me.
Back after some sleep

:

---

Much love to all of you who are struggling at the moment. You are doing an amazing job. Being a mum is harder than I ever imagined, but it is also one of the most rewarding things we can ever do. Love your babies and try to stay positive through the yucky times, we have just created entire humans inside our wombs. How awesome are we?! xxx

---

Roxxie, you are so right..... HOW AWESOME ARE WE?!!!!!

lol Cass :D

The other thing I want to add is my Grandma (who is very wise!) is always telling me "you can read all the books you like about babies and their behaviours, but just remember, the baby has never read the book."

hope you are all having a lovely weekend xxx

Hey girls, so much to catch up on, not doing very well with the post holiday madness of the washing machine melting down and tired children. Thought if I didn't comment as I go I'll forget everything I've read, Cass72 and LJ- Daniel was sleeping through for 10 hours and recnetly stopeed also waking frequently after 2am-3am. It must be a 3 month thing. I tried to remind myself when he was sleeping well that it would probably not last forever. Sadly I couldn't even make the most of it due to my toddler also waking more than my baby. Hopefully the new distrubed sleep with be short lived because sleep deprivation is a killer.

Roxxie-
I too had a wise Nana. Actually our trip to NZ was a family reunion of her 8 children. Awesome. Her advice to her oldest daughter about parenting (a bit more for when they are bigger and living their own lives but pretty speical) was that she lived by 3 principles.

Never judge
Always keep the line of communication open
If you truly love your children, even if they do something you don't agree with , you'll be happy if they are happy.

these are the things that helped my staunch irish catholic nana become a matriarch to an awesome family of both religious and non religious, divorcees, parents of babies out of wedlock etc. she has been gone for 10 years but would have been so happy to see the 50 strong party of loving family for one of her youngest boys 60th birthdays.
all for now, i'll be back

Shell - How is Hannah?

Roxxie - Gr8 advice!!!!

PollyA - Welcome back and sounds like a brill holiday!!!

Had a great long weekend - as DH slept in, so did toddler and hence so did Soph and I - we managed to sleep until 8am every day!!! Yay!!!