i might be paranoid, but i don't think i am. when a single mum with older kids gets picked over us (on c'link only - funny what crap you learn while waiting for the RE!), it makes you wonder. i'm sure if we didn't have E, we'd be in with more of a chance - but i guess the thought is that once you start a family, you're bound to add to it. not like we can really write a statement telling them thats not the case (or even tell them to look at the fact that i get 28 weeks paid leave - admittedly at half pay - plus either parental leave or baby bonus if we have another, so enough pay to last a year) - it's just doing my damn head in. it will happen eventually. we have five apps in now, but c is going to ring and withdraw one tomorrow - driving home after applying, we both decided that the year really wasn't E friendly. the front yard has retaining walls all over the place and there is every chance she could/would fall off and hurt herself (onto concrete) - also has sharp corners. plus to access the front door, you need to close the front gate, walk up a few steps, go across the first bit of lawn, climb another step, more lawn and then up onto the verandah - we'd either have to have all traffic come to the back door (up a steep driveway, not ideal) or deal with mud inside. nope, not a great idea. it's also on a rather busy road...
anyway - settlement is just over a month. if worst comes to worst we can get a very small place in the town my folks live in and wait 12 months so we have rental history and then move to town near work - i just don't want to be relocating frequently...



Hope everything is going ok relationship wise, sorry you are going through some stuff emotionally atm and proud of you for talking it out - sending you a massive hug and smoochies hehehehe
LOL @ Phoebe and her faces. Bailey has recently started (only last night at the dinner table actually) pulling this face where he looks like he is going to pop a blood vessel - you know the tight type of "I am holding my breath" face, we laughed and laughed which only made him do it more for the laughs, which made him look even funnier as this face WITH a cheeky smile is even more funny - bless these kids, they certainly know how to put a smile on our dial! Hope you are too worried about the favourtism you mentioned, I think it sounds very natural and completely normal. I remember reading an article about falling in love with your firstborn again, so clearly its an issue common enough to warrant discussion 

Bummer.
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