Argh, Wite - just lost my post. Separation anxiety is hard to manage....

I have a PPP positive parenting program sheet on it....

spend[LIST][*]quality time with your child - lots of touchy feely smiley interactions[*]minimise separations - talk/sing to your child when out of the room or take them with you ( yikes get out the sleepy wrap again)[*]don't sneak out of the room, children will only watch you more closely[*]respond to your child if they are upset[*]the more anxious they are the more clingy they will be[*]be consistent when you leave - find a phrase to use every time you leave, and every time you come back - eg "bye bye for now" ( I use Mummy will be back soon) and one when you return - "mummy's back again".[*]stay calm ( from my own experience, that is probably the toughest one)[*]encourage desirable behaviour - the example given is if they smile at someone else praise them, so I suppose you could just praise her when she's quiet when you leave the room?[*]Let you child warm up to people
let family/friends know what to expect - if they are upset hold them until they are calm.

Hannah is usually ok when I leave the room - but not always. I just use the same phrases to indicate both that I am going and that I am back. I talk and sing to her whilst I am out of sight, or even in sight but away from her. ( and sometimes mumble under my breath out of her earshot - a habit that I am not proud of and am working on to change). Hannah's biggest issue is stranger ( anyone else but Dh and I ) anxiety. She went through it first at 4 months of age. By 6 months it looked like it was gone, but now it's back. But that may be that it's return has also coincided with her being sick.

Wite - I know it's tough, and I am so sorry that it's hard for you on so many fronts. Keep your head up sweetie. Don't lose heart, get your meds right and the world will seem a different place. And as hard as it is when you're depressed, try to make eye contact with Harlow and Jett and give them lots of touchy feely interactions. I am betting you do already. It will do you all the world of good.

What I want you to do, is each day, as hard as it is, do ONE thing for yourself. It doesn't have to be big, not until you get the hang of it.

It could be just having a quite cup of tea, or could be just looking out the window and taking some deep breaths, it could be just standing at the kitchen sink with your hands immersed in water, breathing deeply, it could be seeing the sun and smiling. Just take a few seconds for yourself.

I know you want more than a few seconds, but you're a busy mum and a few seconds might be the best you can do right now.

I am realising that with Hannah and I both sick that this is a very tough job. My needs def come LAST