Oh Arte! We posted at the same time and I just realised I missed your post. I'm so sorry that it's like that for you I would never advocate someone leaving their DH, but please don't stay together for the kids if you feel there really is no future in it. They will know that things aren't right. My parents stayed together longer than they should and it ****ing sucked. I can't beat around the bush about it. Mum and dad had the freedom of him being a long haul truck driver, but when they were together it was awful for us. We couldn't even speak sometimes because the tension was just so thick when they were together. And being older I often felt that it was my responsibility to make things better - no child should ever have that pressure put on them. Then it just descended into constant fighting before Mum finally left. The way I see it, kids form their knowledge and understanding from the relationships they see modelled to them, and that's why I work so hard at getting it right, because I don't want to screw my kids over the way I was. But you know what is right for you and maybe this way will work for your situation It pains us all to see you like that, just resigning yourself to it