Arte: i reckon the trip could still be serious fun! when do you guys leave?
crap, bbl...miss m woke up!
*ok, am back...bad dream reassured!*
Trill: oh yeah, the midwives were obviously going through extreme cases to highlight how valuable our lady bits are. They were discussing how it is important to look beyond the pelvic floor only in terms of incontinence and understand the importance of preventing prolapse. basically they told me that i need to give myself time to recover...i think they struggle with clients that feel so awesome after births that they are up and at 'em super quick. I guess it is about highlighting how it is important to look after ourselves as well as our kids in those first few weeks ITMS. I am so glad DH was there for the talk lol! he has been super awesome in ensuring that i do rest. and i have to say that it is making a big difference...i am so less tired this time around in general.
Cally: oh man, my midwives gave me a HUGE booklet from the phsyio they work with regarding all my pelvic floor exercises (and rest requirements) and i too also swear that there are like a million more things than the last time i looked into all this stuff but then again, i love living in denial and have been avoiding the whole issue for years now lol.
sheesh, now i have forgotten what everyone else wrote i'll take that as my cue to bow out for a moment the kids have a playdate coming up next door that i better take them to as well...although Miss M is now asleep...hmmm.
Last edited by Cassius2; November 11th, 2012 at 12:53 PM.
Honestly Arte, that trip would be my worst nightmare LOL. I love my husband and I love my kids, but the only people getting a holiday for 3 weeks would be them. It would be nothing like a holiday for me at all. A holiday for me is going away on my own and doing NOTHING even remotely like looking after other people. Even when we go away and stay in a motel, it's still the same old crap for me - cooking, cleaning, washing and making sure the kids aren't killing each other. For them it's bliss.
Cass, yeah, I understand where they are coming from though, just seemed a little OTT kwim? Did you do the playdate or just Miss L on her own?
Arte. Is your DH really ****ing you off right now? Or are you just generally not a happy camper (so to speak) at the minute? Feel free to PM me (or whatever) if you want to ***** about it properly.
Cass I didn't need the midwives to scare the wickywackies out of me after DD1, I searched the internet and came across (worst case scenario) photos of prolapses myself . I don't recommend learning about prolapse that way LOL. Good though that the key message is to rest and recover, it makes sense on all kinds of levels.
Cally, at our school they don't wear uniforms for orientation day either.
I was lucky enough to escape the house for a couple of hours today by myself... so glad because my girls have been bickering non-stop. You would think that an age gap of nine and a half years would be a protective factor against sibling arguments but apparently NOT. Miss E in particular seems to be going through a phase of "I'm bored" and insisting that she needs movies/ipods/screen time (!) which irritates me no end. We keep the screen time down with H and she was much better at entertaining herself. But FDC lady's girls have all got ipods etc now and I think the total screen time is increasing when she's there too. Now she wants an ipod for Christmas but she's in for a massive disappointment I'm afraid.
Trill, I totally know I am going to be in charge of planning meals, activities and clothing but I figure I will be doing all that stuff at home so may as well get to see some sights while I am at it. I am not expecting relaxing by any stretch, just a change of scene. My ideal holiday would also be alone. Just lounging, doing nothing at all in a scenic location.
MD, thanks Nothing out of the ordinary. I think we have officially reached the terminal 'staying together for the kids' stage of the relationship. Nothing new to me, but seems DH has just come to the same conclusion (plus a couple of stingy, kick-in-the-guts comments). It has been better, and it has been worse so I guess we will keep plodding on.
We were thinking of getting W a cheap tablet for Xmas but decided that his screen time was slowly increasing and that would be too much so at least we are limiting him by him having to borrow DH's gear.
I hate that MD. everywhere you go you see really little kids playing on phones and even in the most inappropriate (IMO) places. So many kids just do not have a clue how to entertain themselves and make up their own games. A will whinge that he's bored and want to watch a DVD, so I just hunt him outside and tell him to play and usually I'm calling him back inside because it's lunchtime etc. I refuse to have kids inside playing games or watching TV when the weather is so beautiful.
oh i am glad i am not only one! today miss L was hanging around me like a bad smell because she wanted more tv time...i told her to go outside and play in the gorgeous sunshine! so rare to have such sublime weather here in melbourne that i was frustrated that she didnt want to take advantage of it. we had the playdate today and the kids think that playing together is watching dvds!!!
Arte: i get the whole change of scenery thing too. we are planning a road trip to wollongong and yeah it will be the same parental duty nightmare...but at least it will have ocean views . that said, 3 weeks *could* be pushing it...especially if there has been some relationship revelations (massive btw, do you really think that is the status quo? is there possibility now that DH has also seen the situation that there could be a more positive, revived and shared way forward? or has the relationship just shifted too much...which happens xx), but then again the time away can be really good as a fresh start just in time for the new year.
Ah, actually, when DD was born was ... BEFORE GOOGLE!!! In fact it was pretty much pre-search engine, so I was pretty much limited to whatever I could find using Yahoo directories. Yep, that was when Yahoo was cutting edge
In my defence I was living in a small town in the middle of nowhere, and the doctor I was seeing was freaking hopeless. In the end, I saved my droopy fanny problems up another 6 months until we moved and I was able to flush out a decent GP finally.
Oh Arte! We posted at the same time and I just realised I missed your post. I'm so sorry that it's like that for you I would never advocate someone leaving their DH, but please don't stay together for the kids if you feel there really is no future in it. They will know that things aren't right. My parents stayed together longer than they should and it ****ing sucked. I can't beat around the bush about it. Mum and dad had the freedom of him being a long haul truck driver, but when they were together it was awful for us. We couldn't even speak sometimes because the tension was just so thick when they were together. And being older I often felt that it was my responsibility to make things better - no child should ever have that pressure put on them. Then it just descended into constant fighting before Mum finally left. The way I see it, kids form their knowledge and understanding from the relationships they see modelled to them, and that's why I work so hard at getting it right, because I don't want to screw my kids over the way I was. But you know what is right for you and maybe this way will work for your situation It pains us all to see you like that, just resigning yourself to it
Thanks guys. It isn't that bad. We bicker sometimes but it isn't full scale war or anything. I think pretty much every single thing I do annoys DH but I don't mind him, I can live with it. I grew up with a single mother and I wouldn't wish that upon my children.
DH won't leave because he doesn't think I am a good parent and wouldn't trust me to have them alone (I am ruining them, W's issues are my fault etc). I won't leave my kids. So that leaves accepting that things could have been better but making the best of what we have chosen for ourselves. There isn't anger or hate, only indifference (on my part at least).
I won't mention it again. I just didn't ever think I would be one of those people. Thanks for letting me vent, I have no one in real life to talk to and it is all about keeping up appearances lol
Arte I really hope i didnt overstep the mark this is a safe place for you to talk ok? i really hope that you you dont believe him when he says things like that to you because its just not true.
Nah Trill, you didn't overstep. I am watching. If I ever judge it to be better for the kids to end it then I will, but for now I won't trade their happiness for mine itms. Plus, I really don't want to do the yard work lol.
Enough with my petty little drama though
I am finding it hard to come up with Christmas ideas, it seems to follow too closely after the birthdays! Erin is old enough now to be aware of what it going on so we can't really leave her out, but she is still in our room and I don't want that piled up with kid stuff. Planning to eventually move the two girls into our big room and we will take A's, but I suspect there needs to be a better degree of sharing ability (and some better sleep) before it will work.
It's tough when you have no real space in your house like that. Is it an option for E to share with W? Or would he not like that at all? What we did when the girls were little and we put them in the same room together was to stagger their bedtimes, so we'd put E to bed first and then put P to bed. I have no idea what to do about christmas either. Just cannot even contemplate the thought of it yet. I've started shopping and picking up small bits and pieces here and there, but I will leave the bulk of it till close to christmas. We just need to get harvest out of the way first and go from there.
Arte - sweetie I have thought many times that you are doing the hard yards. Vent away. BTW your happiness does matter, so if it seems like it's in short supply on a regular basis, it might be a sign of depression. I don't know if this is something you're thought about, or even if you've sought treatment for it in the past, but worth keeping an eye out for. Especially because I know you feel "stuck" with where you're at, and in the past my own depression has been associated with a similar kind of stuck-ness. Especially during the endless round of domestic servitude involved in staying at home with small children, little darlings that they are.
Re space, could you put another cupboard in one of the other kids' rooms, or even in a hallway and stash E's bits in there. She can still sleep in with you but at least then you won't have too much coloured plastic in there with you!
Trill, it's crazy but I sometimes forget that you're on a farm that needs things doing to it! I hope all goes well with the harvest.
Cally, how did K's school visit go (that was today, wasn't it?)
Aete: it totally sucks and is unfair that he dumps all the hard, difficult stuff on you as being your fault. that is a huge cop out...and sheesh nice way to boost morale and confidence . here in our wee thread is always a safe place to vent. i totally get the keeping up appearances thing...i think we all, at some stage have been there through the crap times
christmas...egad. way too close to birthdays! i am thinking for Miss M a bunch of headbands and a jewelry box and maybe a proper tutu for dance class next year. Miss L is getting a 'hairdresser doll' from her grandmother and i am thinking maybe some art/craft stuff. I am really stumped though it has to be said!
DH has just informed me that we are having a road trip to wollongong at christmas . oh really? Oh, ok. at like THE BUSIEST time of the year to be on the roads...and motels...there better be motels available along the way! but the thought of sunshine and a beach does make it very appealing...
Cass, I am thinking of a few headbands and hair clips for A too - amazing that I ended up with such a girly-girl when I am totally not!. I think the girls might both get a Mr or Mrs Potato head set each, the ones with extra arms and stuff.
Good luck with the Xmas trip. Nothing like an overly hot car with a screaming baby and two bored preschoolers whinging...lmao, just kidding, I am sure it will be great!
I sometimes think of the time you arrived at a motel and baby L had orange? poosplosion and you had to cut off her clothes rather than dragging them over her head.
We have a spare room that we could turn into E's room I guess, I just like having it there lol. ATM it is easier to have her in with us. She doesn't seem to have any stuff yet - only a few bits that live in the lounge. Plight of the 3rd child lol. I could probably store some stuff under the cot now that I think about it.
MD, thanks for thinking of me. On the depression front, I honestly don't know. I am too tired to do more than function in a day, every day is as flat as the last. I have downsized my life and now exist between home and kindy with a weekly grocery shop thrown in because that is all I can manage. I used to be that mum that is at every kid-gym, playgroup, music, other playgroup etc but now 2 hours of solitude while E sleeps is far more important to me.
Arte - oh, I just wish I was closer to take you out for coffee, cake (sugar free of course) and a big hug!
Orientation went really well. She didn't want to go in at first and we just watched a few of the others so we knew what would happen. Then we headed over, I thought she wasn't going to let go of my hand, then her buddy asked if she wanted to go and do some craft and she was off. And I was left standing there not able to talk to anyone in case I cried! But then I went and got part of the uniform and met up with all the other mums in the art room for coffee. There were a few I remembered from the mothers group I went to when I was still on maternity leave so that was good. She is now sleeping in her new school jumper.
Christmas - I want to get Miss K a trampoline but DH is freaking out about injuries (I managed growing up with no issues and that was in the olden days before they had nets). If that doesn't happen, I have no idea.
Cally, I refuse to buy a trampoline with a net. They may fall off, but then they will learn to be more careful. It is part of learning risk assessment (I have a strong opinion on this matter lol). Same reason I don't have door locks in the kitchen or baby gates anywhere in my house.
Cute that K is sleeping in her school jumper!
We have a kindy hangi tonight. Tastes like dry smoke lol, but it should be good all the same.
I went out the other night for my friends leaving dessert night. Was fun. No plans for the weekend so far.
Cally, the nets are a major PITA. If I had a dollar for every netted trampoline I've seen with a manky busted net because it perished in the sun then I'd be rich. They give a false sense of security and injuries are more likely to occur because they believe that the net will save them every time. I'm with Arte on this one - it's more important for them to learn to use it sensibly with no net than rely on it too much. When we brought one for the kids we did not even consider a netted trampoline. Yes, the kids have had some spectacular spills off the thing, but they haven't broken a limb or seriously hurt themselves. But definitely talk him into getting one - it will be one of the best investments you will make - ours gets used every single day. So great to hear she enjoyed her day so much she slept in he school jumper LOL! that would have been super cute! Sounds like you had a lovely morning too.
Arte, I'm drooling at the thought of hungi food! I love it. Dessert night sounded great - you need to do that more often. Hell, I'd even go and do it by myself LOL
but then again, i love living in denial and have been avoiding the whole issue for years now lol.
i'll take that as my cue to bow out for a moment 
the kids have a playdate coming up next door that i better take them to as well...although Miss M is now asleep...hmmm.
Arte. Is your DH really ****ing you off right now? Or are you just generally not a happy camper (so to speak) at the minute? Feel free to PM me (or whatever) if you want to ***** about it properly. 
. that said, 3 weeks *could* be pushing it...especially if there has been some relationship revelations (massive 
. here in our wee thread is always a safe place to vent. i totally get the keeping up appearances thing...i think we all, at some stage have been there through the crap times 
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