Babies Born ~ September 2007 #75

[Artechim]

No real birthday idea around here MP. I don't know if I can be bothered with the whole party thing when we have only been here a couple of months and none of them have good friends yet. Might do a day away or something. Present wise, W is begging for a tablet but it seems so....something. I am not sure that it is suitable for a 7 year old, yet he has a nintendo DS that he plays so it wouldn't be any different to that, would it? Somehow it seems different though.

Oz, I can't believe how quickly that baby of yours is growing!! She is adorable. I am turning into the liking holidays sort - the allure of staying in bed longer, no rush or lunches.

Cass, I read some quote somewhere that you have to be present in the place you are in, not living elsewhere in your mind/heart. I am trying to be here but it is hard. I too miss all my old people, most were just casual friends but it is nice to have other people to talk to. And it is freaking cold!! But we will get there.

[MamaPan]

Hi everyone :-)
i am having some much needed time out today - it has truly been one of the most challenging weeks for me. so kids are at my BIL and SIL for a bit and I have done yoga, some serius retail therapy and now chilling at home. Cass - we are going to woodend tomorrow, let me know if you will be there. hoping the weather is ok for it, but I'll brave it anyway!
as i said its been an awful week. dh is away, ILs in italy, nanny in italy - was going to be a hard juggling act anyway.. but then one of my team members in sydney passed away v suddenly on mon night.... so awful. its filled me with anxiety as it was a heart attack (he was 41) and i am paranoid as my dad died at 39 from this... so as i get older i am mega anxious about it all. and i was devestated for the team and his family. anyway i spent wednesday u thetre with them which was so tough, but good too. it meant my poor mum cae over at 4am and tayed til 9pm (working in b/n) and it was also my bday! hard day. the kids have been to various friends afyer school - theyve loved it, but for me, who hates to ask for help - its like my fine balancing act came crashing down and my weaknesses were laid bare!!! anyway, the week s done, dh will be home tomorrow and i am looking to recharge my batteries with some great time with the boys.
for N bday I think we will do a lego party... i just need to book it in. we got J a scooter for hisbday, i am not sure what to get N. he would LOVe a tablet but i am not willing to get that just yet... maybe a remote control car as the main present... i'll have to think.
hope everyone else is doing well. x

[Artechim]

MP, our kids have loved remote controlled helicopters, although they don't tend to last that long. Something else W would love is one of those air hogs flying ball things.
Your week sounds exhausting! Must be a big shock losing a team member like that, what a young age for heart attacks - scary! I hope your weekend proves more relaxing than the week.

MD, how is your study going?

[AnyDream]

Cass, I read some quote somewhere that you have to be present in the place you are in, not living elsewhere in your mind/heart.

Them's true words! x

Arte - I'm glad to hear W is more his usual self again, but I encourage you to take some more steps re getting some support in place for the next time (because there will always be something that tips him out of equilibrium). Ten years on, I'm regretting not doing more to get support for whatever-it-is that DD1's got going on. While she seems to be doing ok, really the family is doing a lot of absorbing and compensating behind the scenes. And it's wearing us out. (And by the family, I mean mostly me). BTW how's the stopping smoking going? AND - thanks for asking about my study. I bombed out last semester (stress overload) but they've extended my deadlines so I'm back into it again now. I'm so freaking close to finishing and so really not close to finishing at all! LOL. How about you?

MP - Sorry you've had such a tough week. So shocking when someone dies so unexpectedly . I hope the weekend is having a restorative effect.

Re birthdays - I think we'll go for a little backyard party (as usual) with a bit of art/craft involved. I rediscovered shrinky dinks during the school hols - they are the Best Thing Ever & spot on for a not-too-difficult to organise party activity.

E will be getting a tablet (ipad mini) because we told her we would pay for half if she saved up the other half, and she has (!). I'm a little awkward about it, but she already plays with one of our (v.old) iphones sometimes, so the ipad will give her more activities and a bigger screen, but there will still be the same boundaries on its use. In our case, much harder not to go there when DD1 has multiple devices.

Oz - your little bubba is just gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. Such a divine little smile. I can't believe it's been 2 months already!!

Cass, LOL I'm all about the YA right now too. Anything more = too taxing on the brainio. Plus I've got a constant stream of recommendations coming at me from DD1 & her pals. I think you just need a little more time breathing the country air then it will all seem right. xxx

Apologies for my extended absence. I was crazy busy (or maybe just crazy) for a little while back there, so I unplugged from my usual activities for a bit. School holidays were a bust. First week, I fell of the back stairs and mashed my ankle, then our much-loved cat died, and then there wasn't really very much left of the school hols! Still, we managed to rediscover shrinky dinks, learn french knitting, take in the Art Gallery, and have a few pleasant family outings. Not to mention a pyjama day or two.

[Artechim]

MD, great to see you! I hope you are feeling better now xx I know those patches where your life shrinks down to essentials because there is no brainpower or energy to manage any more
I have got something in place for W now - after waiting for ages to get an assessment done, we realised that we need more than a one off in the city so I have found someone local that we can see regularly. It took forever and a piece of luck to find a private practice - wasn't keen on waiting several months to see a paediatrician to get a referral and wait another few months to actually see someone in the public system. We have an initial appointment next week for background. She sounded great on the phone so hopefully we might get some actual help this time.
I totally know what you mean about absorbing it as a family. I guess even in the best of times we are still all sacrificing to allow for W's behaviour, walking on egg shells to keep the peace.

Stopping smoking is going well enough, I have a couple now and then if DH buys some but generally I don't even think about it.

I have just withdrawn from this semester of study, and didn't do any last semester either because of the move. I was getting really stressed about finding time to do it since I have Erin at home all the time. Next year she will be at kindy so it made no sense to squish it in this year with bucket loads of stress and then sit around half the day by myself next year. Still frustrated though - it is going to take me 5.5 years to finish a one year course! I hope this semester goes a lot better for you xx

I hadn't heard of shrinky dinks but they look good. I vaguely remember shrinking chip packets in the oven though.

ETA, I was very sorry to hear about your dear cat passing on MD. It leaves such a gap when they go Especially those ones that were a link with the pre-kids life.

[Artechim]

I just had the first session with the psych for W and she was amazing! The difference between her and the public health woman we saw last time were incredible. Last time the lady seemed to have absolutely no idea what she was looking at and could offer me no suggestions besides sitting on his hands to eliminate the constant hand licking. She never really talked to him or tried to find out the underlying issue, just wanted to slap a ASD label on him because then I would get some funding - no help at all. This lady took the time to listen and seemed genuinely interested in getting to the cause of the behaviour. I have been thinking for some time that it was SPD and anxiety, which are often good buddies. She said from the symptoms and behaviours that that was what she was thinking too, so next week we will have an OT appointment with a full sensory assessment and go from there. I am quite hopeful that we can find some strategies that will enable him to cope better without always operating at such a high stress level.

Coincidently, I was talking to his scout leader the other day who is giving up leadership at the end of the year to focus on her son and when I asked if he was alright she said he was getting assessed for SPD! We spent the next 15 minutes swapping tales of our boys and I think we both felt better for finding someone else who is living the same thing - kids that are amazing and perfect for everyone else but are a disaster to live with.

[Cassius2]

Oh Arte it is such a burden lifted when you find someone who knows their stuff and is the one looking out for your kid! I feel that way about the neurologist for Miss E. I know that he 'gets' it and he always takes the time with her (and us!).

YAY!!!