Arte - to be honest Noah doesnt do a lot of the things you describe... thats my honest response - but I also dont think what you write in that post sounds 'abnormal' (I think Noah is generally a v well behaved/placid character). I think it is a great sign that they find him well adjusted at kinder too. His language has always been good (as has Noah's) - I found that a huge help on the tantrum front (Noah has never been much of a tantrummer) - given he is advanced in language do you think that has helped him express himself (i always though the advanced language was a key factor in avoidance of tantrums from Noah). The attention seeking behaviour (peeing on the floor) - have never had anything even close to that with Noah - but again maybe he is the other end in behaviour (though I havent heard of that a lot from others either). I am not menaning to compare our kids - they are all so different (as we are) - but I am just answering as you asked if our kjids act how you have described. If so much is stemming from his sleep do you think that may be something a GP could help you with? I have also done 'comforted sleep' with both boys and it has been a long ropad but a good one overall - but maybe the GP would have some other ideas to help with W (and A and no 3).
you sound a bit 'defensive' in your post - I hope my post doesnt come across as anything other than trying to help you - you sound at the end of your tether and it sounds as though you need to act on it, to get some help for you all... I offer my ideas only out of wanting to help you with something that has been going on for soooo long now. hugs xxx