Arte, it may have been a spectacular failure for you, but it sounds like it is the only thing that works for them. When we had to do it with A when he was going through the roughest of his reflux problems, I hated it - DH did too, but I had to just suck it up and do it because thats what worked best. Sometimes you have to put your own needs aside and do what works and what gets you all the most sleep.
With W's behaviour, when has he ever truly had a time when it was 100% good? He has always been a high maintenance child and true, it does seem to fluctuate depending on how bad his sleep is, but I think it is all part of a bigger problem. Going to a GP could help a lot - getting a referral to have a sleep study done on him would be a start and see if there is a neurological problem causing it, because maybe if there is a 'reason' for it, then there can be a solution to deal with it. I'm sure I speak for all of us when I say that we just want you to be able to have a night where you don't have a fight happen and that you can go to bed knowing that you wont be getting up 10 times before morning. Most of all I know how tough this is going to be once you have the baby - and my older two were brilliant sleepers, but still found it tough at times once P was born and getting used to dealing with 3 little ones on my own.
Wow Arte, what a horrific day. Poor little A, and poor you!
I agree with the others, you might be right it may just be a sleep issue but worth checking out incase his bad sleep is a symptom of something else. Something that can be helped. Just a suggestion, have you considered the possibilty of him being on the Autism spectrum? I just wondered with his high intelligence, and the stories you tell us it would seem like a possibility. I hope I'm not out of line by mentioning the possibility.
Arte, I hope it doesn't feel like we are ganging up on you - we're just really worried about you and how this is affecting all of you. We care about you so much and we feel pretty helpless, but some of the things he does is just starting to look like there is something bigger going on with him. I know you probably don't think that there is anything wrong - but please just think about it as an option. I think Ange is on the right track.
Hi girls....just popping on quickly...hugs to arte...sounds like the day from hell w the car...good thinkingonyour part feting her out! I hope you manage to get some sleep...
I also think there is no harm going to your gp...ihaveno idea about what they could do but you won't know if you don't ask... I am worried about you...all if you. I know my boys have even bad sleepers but nothing like your kids..and I dot bow how yup deal w that sort of behavior... If the gp gas any ideas thAt would be great wouldn't it? And if not...well all you have wasted is a little time...I bow my dh is adamant he can't go for 3 just dealing w the lack of sleep we have had...so I totally don't kbow how you guys are operating...and so anything at all that could help must be worth a shot. Xxx
I don't think he is on the spectrum. He is generally a nice, well behaved kid. It is just these random patches when he won't go to bed, won't stay asleep and acts silly during the day. His behaviour isn't anything outrageous (I don't think) for a 3.5 year old - sometimes throwing and kicking toys around, being loud, not doing as asked -do the other kids in here not do any of that??
The pee thing is clearly attention seeking behaviour. If he wants attention he is sure as hell going to get it if he does something filthy like that and he knows that I react for it.
His kindy teachers describe him as very sociable and chatty. He plays with the other kids every day and joins in on all the activities - even singing and dancing which he has always hated. Other mum's keep commenting on how much he has come out of his shell in the past 6 months since he started kindy. He just needed the confidence boost of knowing he could be without me and still be fine.
He is highly strung. Always has been. He is much better now at communicating what he wants rather than having a tantrum. We hardly ever have tantrums during the day now and we haven't had a mega long one for a long time.
I honestly think is main problem is the sleep. When he is sleeping alright he is good during the day. He is a very literal kid that does better with rules and order. I personally think that all this comforted sleeping BS has not been right for his personality - I would have been better off leaving him to CIO and learning to get to sleep on his own, then that would be how it is. Instead I mollycoddled him and now that is what he expects.
Arte - to be honest Noah doesnt do a lot of the things you describe... thats my honest response - but I also dont think what you write in that post sounds 'abnormal' (I think Noah is generally a v well behaved/placid character). I think it is a great sign that they find him well adjusted at kinder too. His language has always been good (as has Noah's) - I found that a huge help on the tantrum front (Noah has never been much of a tantrummer) - given he is advanced in language do you think that has helped him express himself (i always though the advanced language was a key factor in avoidance of tantrums from Noah). The attention seeking behaviour (peeing on the floor) - have never had anything even close to that with Noah - but again maybe he is the other end in behaviour (though I havent heard of that a lot from others either). I am not menaning to compare our kids - they are all so different (as we are) - but I am just answering as you asked if our kjids act how you have described. If so much is stemming from his sleep do you think that may be something a GP could help you with? I have also done 'comforted sleep' with both boys and it has been a long ropad but a good one overall - but maybe the GP would have some other ideas to help with W (and A and no 3).
you sound a bit 'defensive' in your post - I hope my post doesnt come across as anything other than trying to help you - you sound at the end of your tether and it sounds as though you need to act on it, to get some help for you all... I offer my ideas only out of wanting to help you with something that has been going on for soooo long now. hugs xxx
If you think that the CIO would have worked better for him, then it's not too late to do it. It might be absolute hell for a few nights or a week, but what have you got to lose? Personally I don't think you did anything that would have made a difference to the way he is, but you have to give it a try.
I want to add too that I truly did not mean to upset you by suggesting it, but I have seen this before with other children, that's all. I wont ever mention it again
Last edited by Trillian; March 22nd, 2011 at 12:55 PM.
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