Babies born~December 1st-15th 2009 #3

Carmey - please don't go to another thread, we're here for you and want to hear anything you want to talk about, that's what we're here for, not just about babies, but us too. We're all best buds now, don't ever forget that. We may not be eye to eye when we speak (unfortunately) but we know more about each other than most of our closest friends and family I bet! I tell you girls more than I share with anyone. xx

AFM - I need some honest opinions from you girls as I trust and respect all your beliefs/ideas/suggestions. I had a debate with the inlaws yet again last night. They really really full on lectured me about taking Amelia swimming in the indoor pool. Apparently the chemicals are bad for babies under 2, they really made me feel crap last night. We came home and DH did some research and it's looking like they might be right. DH wants me to stop taking her after our block of already paid for lessons have finished at the end of this month. I told him he'll have to build me a pool then at the other house, if we have to move that's the deal! She loves swimming and I love taking her. Anyone else heard anything? Apparently some research has been done in Europe and those exposed to breathing in chlorine chemicals at indoor pools have a higher risk of asthma and also respiratory problems - once they hit 2 their lungs are formed enough not to be so affected. As you can see by my FB I've had quite a response and it's all for swimming. I'm not sure I can argue with DH, especially if he has her health in his best interests but I'm still torn. DH's niece did swimming as a baby and has had non stop chest infections, asthma, colds - I personally think a lot of it has to do with the fact she was shoved in daycare practically the moment she was born so her mum could go back to her fancy full time career and also her mum has asthma, which can obviously be hereditary. I was livid last night, I felt ganged up on and DH just sat there and didn't say a word - men and their parents honestly!!!!! So, has anyone got an opinion or heard what the effects of swimming and babies is? I'm talking indoor chlorinated pools here and be honest. I want to do what's best for Amelia so I'm completely torn!

Hi Alison omg, we can't seem to do anything right theses days!! I haven't heard anything about the chlorine, but to be honest it wouldn't surprise me if it was bad. But I would have also thought that plenty of people swam when they were babies with no ill effects. It could be a problem if she were prone to chest problems or had a family history of problems (although, I don't think DH's niece counts) but then swimming can greatly help kids with asthma, so, what the hell are we supposed to do??!! Is the pool where you go really smelly? Some are much worse than others. I have a friend who is really up on all this stuff I'll e-mail her and see what she thinks, having said that she has 6 kids and as far as I know they all swim from pretty young, but I honestly can't remember how young they start, I'll find out. Her husband is my chiro, he's doing all sorts of courses and seminars on babies and their development so they are quite good with stuff like that. I'll let you know what their thoughts are, maybe that will help, maybe not, it's all too hard sometimes!!!

Thanks girls, it all means so much to me. What would I do without you?!

x

Oh wow thank you Willow, I would really really appreciate that. I need all the evidence I can gather for DH and the inlaws. But if it is bad for her then I have no problem waiting until she's a little older. Let's face it, come next year if I'm pregnant again I probably won't be able to juggle her swimming at the same time with a big belly anyway! lol

Hi Carmey - what would any of us do without each other.....................I'll openly say probably go INSANE!!!!!!! xx

I have heard the same Alison (about the respiratory issues and asthma) although I am sure genes have a lot to do with it - saying that though, our apt complex has an outdoor pool that is chlorinated and I plan on taking Eva in there this summer - but not too often...FIL is a former lifeguard (from his army days) and so is BIL (who is 20) and they are still serious swimmers, so they are looking forward to getting her used to being in the water...I heard similar stuff as well as there being germs from other people in the water...That said, I think being overly paranoid does not help much of anything and babies need to be exposed to things...Daycare does that which is prob why your niece is always sick, on top of her genes for respiratory issues...Eva has also been pretty congested since starting but I know that at one year she won't be sick very often anymore...In Europe they call the period starting daycare to one year the sick year, and from what I hear afterwards, they are rarely sick :) so being paranoid is not necessary, but maybe the chemicals are slightly a diff story...I don't know - we try to stay very organic with Eva, so I would def research that too...but I would not deprive her of the pool...maybe just limit it and wash her well right after.

I think DH getting you guys a pool is good idea and it will also make your new house feel more like yours...What I did though, is buy Eva a big inflatable pool to put on the terrace when it gets warm, that way it is not too deep and she can enjoy the water while we watch her or go in with her, but not be in a big pool full of chemicals...so I am not for or against but maybe would cut back putting her in too often...? a large inflateable is a good idea I think as well...do they not have a kiddie pool? I remember that in new york my gym had an adult pool and a kiddie pool with very very little chlorine...does your place have that option?

But then I find some links saying it is not that bad: http://www.rainbowpediatrics.net/faq/13.21.html

this one says with parents who have allergies and asthma: http://www.thedailygreen.com/environ...sthma-47041508

again, just wash her right after: http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/p...tswimming.html

I see nothing shocking about the chlorine, as long as it is not too much and you wash her afterwards - Alison, if she is happy, then do it, just avoid doing it every day :)

maybe check out swim australia they woudl ahev all teh info you'd think.

IM over DH tonight as well
i swear he thinks now im home with 2 kids and trying to run a business i ahve time tyo do all teh hosue work and cook him dinner
and even when he gets home he is just meant to sit aroudn and do jack **** after work because he sopends all weekend building the deck etc. yet im at the markets usually with teh kids in tow and trying to make a profit.
im over it
and a hug? umm cant remember the last one :(

Aw Kawa, I think we all need some selfish time...I am trying to get a night out with my girls to see Sex and The City and leave DH home with Eva. I need a selfish night. I think a few us need to try to get some selfish time. I hope it is better this weekend. xoxo

Alison - no good that DH wasn't in there standing up for you. They're hopeless around their mummies sometimes LOL. Not sure about the pool issue. Is there a heated outdoor pool you could go to?

Kawa - what's with the no hugs :-( I think a girls night out would do you good too.

BS - Ooooh, I'm jealous. Sex in the City. Might have to get a leave pass too!

Willow - lovely to see you online.

Carmey - thinking of you love!

Hello everyone else!

This is just a quick one because my sister is here visiting. But I had to celebrate with you. Tilly hasn't fallen asleep feeding the last couple of nights so I've just settled her on my shoulder and she's been out to it in a couple of minutes. But tonight she actually insisted on being put down in her cot, throwing herself backwards out of my arms, so she could do the job herself! I can't tell you what joy it was to see her wriggling around trying to find the comfiest position. I left her to it and couldn't believe it when I wasn't called back in! She's settled herself in the middle of the night but never during the day or at bedtime. My little girl is growing up! For an inveterate feed to sleeper this is big news!!!

:happyforyou: Go Tilly!

:hooray:

Hi girls :)

I'm way behind again. Seems to be a constant state of affairs for me.

{{{{{Carmey}}}}} I really hope that you can get things sorted out with counselling.

Alison - I honestly never even thought of the chlorinated pool being an issue. We always planned on taking Liam for swimming lessons in an indoor pool at some stage. We just haven't gotten around to it yet. I'd really have to see some compelling data to not take him, to be honest.

AFM - Feeling at my wit's end today. I'm starting to get sick again - all of my autoimmune stuff and fibromyalgia is flaring up and I'm totally exhausted. Liam's sleep has been getting bad again, especially during the day. We' could usually get 40-45 minute sleeps out of him, but he's dropped down to 20 minutes now, and refusing to be in his crib again. Today he only had 3 20 minute sleeps.

We did get his six-month vaccinations done today. Which weren't a huge deal - he cried for a bit and then was all smiles. And I've heard him cry worse when he's cracking it in his pram (which is a daily occurance, making walks less than relaxing for me).

I'm just over it all today. Over being up to him 5-6 times a night, which is what we're currently working at, and him not sleeping and being needy all day while he's awake. I was looking into sleep school, but they all do controlled crying or use CIO methods, which I don't want to do.

He is eating solids like a champ - onto three "meals" a day and is sill bfing as frequently as before, too. Maybe he's just going through a growth spurt, but it seems blood never ending.

Rose, I am not sure if you are against it or not, but you know you can mix rice cereal into your breast milk or into formula to "fill him up" a bit more (but if i remember correctly he is not good at taking a bottle, right?)...I have a friend who did that during the transition into solids because the baby was not eating enough solids but still needed more food than she could give with bf.... If he is growing and eating meals and the bf has not gone down maybe he just needs more? I hope it is not his reflux acting up :( Anyway, I do not think this is right or wrong to do, but just a suggestion. You know what is best for him and ultimately if you are against formula or "beefing up" his meals, then don't do it, but you really sound like you could use a break physically :( - I don't mean to offend you if you find this offensive :) - I know some people hate feeding suggestions...

What is up with us all lately???? We all seem to be tiring or something...I guess 6 months is a long time to not take care of ourselves, huh?

Feel better and I hope he settles down, the poor little boy...

Oh Carmey, huge :hug: :hug: :hug: hun. I'm not sure I can offer any advice. In any case, I think BS said it all and said it well. Speaking with a counsellor is a good idea to help you get your head around everything that is (or isn't) happening and that you're feeling. It's amazing how much an objective point of view can help. There's one thing I want to point out though. Since you plan to see the counsellor on your own first, if you do decide to ask DH along next time, just be aware that he doesn't feel ambushed. I'd really like for my DH to come to some of my appointments with me, but he won't as he feels as though my GP and psych have formed their opinions of him and refuses to see any value in changing their minds. I wish I'd just asked him to come along without trying to talk to him about my visits. And don't feel you have to go to another thread unless you want to. Another thread might be helpful and you might benefit from other people's experiences. But please don't feel as though you can't talk about it here. We've all shared so much in the past year and I'd hate to think you felt it inappropriate to continue to find support with us. Happy 6 month birthday to Jack :confetti:

Alison - It was good of your ILs to let you know there may be risks with Amelia swimming so young. But they could certainly have been more diplomatic about it. As parents it seems we just can't win, we're doing the wrong thing. It is worth further research and if DH is genuinely concerned, you shouldn't ignore it. It is a shame that it's something Amelia so enjoys and its good for the both of you to have that activity together. Are there any outdoor centres you could go to instead? Getting a pool if you move is a great idea. I'll have a look for any scientific articles (will use my uni access) when I get a chance.

BS - You're beautiful :loveshower: I'm sick of coming in here and complaining all the time. I'm so sick of myself at the moment. But I'll answer you, anyway.

Tilda - Fantastic news! Go Matilda! :leap: Don't you wish you could rub it in to all those people who told you you were doing the wrong thing?

Rose - Huge :hug: for you too. I've been looking into sleep school too, but they use cry it out methods. I wish I could say something amazing, but if I had any answers I wouldn't be having issues myself. You're not alone.

AFM - I'm not going to go into everything. If I start I might not stop and I'm not sure I have the energy right now and I don't know if I want to post it all in a public forum. I'll keep it to the latest trigger. My birthday sucked! This year is the first year in a long time I have looked forward to my birthday, felt that my life was worth celebrating. My mum was still in hospital (she is home tonight though). My brother and grandmother didn't even call. The places I wanted to go to for dinner were all closed on Tuesdays. DH didn't wish me happy birthday until he'd been up for over an hour. He didn't even buy me a present or have one on behalf of Amelia. I did get a cake though. He had the last 3 days off of work to help me out so I could catch up on sleep (my GP even gave him a carer's certificate) since Amelia isn't going down until about 1am. He may as well have been at work as he spent most of his time running his own errands. He did at least cook tea for me so it was nice to not have to worry about evening meals for a few days. Whenever I talk to him about this, he gets defensive and lists all the things he has done or the reasons for his errands/jobs. It makes me feel ungrateful and lazy.

I have a month of mat leave left and the closer the end comes the more anxious I am about returning to work. I don't think I can cope with Amelia and work. I'm not coping now. She's such a poor sleeper and I feel useless...I don't know how to help her. I don't feel I can put her into daycare until I know she can sleep well. It's so hard to find the energy to stick to anything without support. DH doesn't believe that she can be screaming so much from being overtired. He's very quick to get the Panadol. This makes me anxious to leave her alone with him, because I don't want him doping our daughter.

I'm going to stop now as I've already written more than I intended to. And this doesn't even cover half of it. I'm so sad and lonely. I have this beautiful little girl but it breaks my heart that she ended up with me for a mother.

Thanks for all the celebratory cheer BS, Hannah, and Rose! I treated myself to a glass of wine tonight. Shhhh.

Oh Hannah, it breaks my heart to hear you say that last part! You are doing so fabulously. We're all so impressed at how you've coped with such incredible sleep deprivation and topsy turvy days. And you too Rose! I know how you both feel about sleep school and CC and CIO methods. I can't bring myself to do it either. And you have to do what you feel is right for your bub. But also know that no one here will judge you if you give it a go for the sake of your health. I wish I could make it better for you.

Hey Hannah! Stop that! What have you done wrong at all for that gorgeous girl??? Some babies are more difficult than others and it has nothing to do with you. Don't beat yourself up about that! Seriously, you are so loving and do so much to follow her rhythm and needs, that there is no way you could be a bad mother!

I think there is a 6 month hump - seriously - I think this is just when we get worn out !

I had a friend with a similar problem - she was also super stressed going back to work , and she got this book (sort of like boot camp for babies) - I would not do it, but she had the exact same issues as you - no sleep, up nights, baby feeding often - and her baby was reallllly clingy (she would only keep a dummy in her mouth if she was standing over her holding it and looking in her eyes (how is that for demanding!!!??) - I thought she was exagerating until I saw it - the baby would literally spit out the dummy unless she was holding it in there staring at her - she did not even have to hold it in just have her fingers on it!!!!! She was always covered in hickeys because the baby would not take a dummy and only wanted her mother all the time...she was also very into following her daughter's pace until a month before going back to work - she was stressed because the baby would not take bottles either etc...so she followed this book and said it really worked. But she said it is literally a strict schedule to follow (like literally every 15 minutes you have things to do) - so like 7 wake up, 715 feed, 745 change etc...I thought it was crazy but she told me nothing else worked...I don't remember the name of the book but let me know if you want me to ask her for it. But then you would not be following her schedule. You would be imposing a schedule so you would sort of have to be ok with that...Daycare would do that anyway, so it is up to you to see if you want to do it at home first....

I really wish we all lived in the same city...I would have loved to plan a girl's night out and leave our men at home to watch the bubs!!!!!!

Hannah, Rose, I think the two of you have had it pretty rought through this whole thing, but you are both really amazing and manage to stay positive - you guys don't get how great of a job you're doing - You'll only see it in hindsight when your second super easy bubs that sleep all day get here!! :ROFL: - and I can tell you both that not many mothers with such demanding babies are doing as well as you both.

:hug:

Can I just add one thing? I seriously need to get off of here! I have so much work to dooooooooooooooooo :ROFL: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi Girls!

Hi Tilda - firstly yay to Tilly, that's so awesome mate, well done. When Amelia first self settled a few weeks ago I was so excited too, it's such a relief isn't it when you're used to cuddling/feeding to sleep. Well done gorgeous.

Hi Hannah - oh please don't say that, you are a fantastic mother, you really are - you need to stop beating yourself up. Do you know you are handling things fantastically and a lot of people couldn't do it. Like BS said, I think the 6 month hump is here and the bubs are going through quite a growth spurt which is quite taxing on us. I've been reading a book called Baby Bliss and it explains the sleeping habits at different stages, 6 months is a biggen and they do shift into a routine more like adults. Just keep at it, that beautiful girl of yours needs you and never forget that. xx

Hi Rose - I hope things improve for you as well. You can have a super great vent to us on Wednesday when we catch up, I'm really looking forward to seeing you and Beany and the boys again. xx

Thanks to everyone for your input on the swimming, I think the issue is with breathing in the chlorinated air, they generally don't really swallow it as they have a natural reflex that shuts off their oesophagus (sp?) apparently and I'm not so worried about her skin as she hasn't had any irritations, I get itchy very easy and it hasn't been bothering me. I think the fumes of indoor heated chlorinated pools can damage their undeveloped lungs that's all. Hannah, I would so love it if you found anything when you have time/if you have time! DH's research was done on some studies done in Europe, namely Belgium etc but haven't found anything here in Aus. I just want to do whats best for her of course.

Best run, been on the computer for ages and my eyes are getting sore. Oh, I attempted to drop nap number 3 this arvo because Amelia didn't wake from her 1.00 pm nap until 2.45 pm - she lasted until 6.00 pm when she hit the wall - I fed her solids at 5.00 pm, I normally only give her breakie and lunch and then at 6.00 pm gave her a bath to distract her and then bottle straight after, put her straight down at 6.30 pm and within 5 minutes she was asleep. Might have been a fluke so will see tomorrow how it goes - I'm going walking at lunch when she's normally due a nap tomorrow so who knows if she'll sleep properly in the pram. I'll just go with the flow, whatever suits her - we can't make too many changes in one week can we!

I just lost the biggest post that I spent over an hour typing!!!!

Basically just saying 'hear hear' lots of :hug: :hug: :grouphug:

Have to get out and do things but will try again to do persies later.

Hello Everyone, It has been a long time since I could write in here... We got back from Italy Saturday morning and everything has been nuts!.
Carmey, Hannah, Rose.....so sad to hear your all having a rough trot. ... I'm thinking we really need a massive group hug round here. I second you BS.. how cool would that be if we all did live in the same city. We would be up chatting till the cows came home!
Alison... I did not know any of that about the swimming and the chlorine, Lila has been swimming for 2 years now and she loves it. We have a salt water pool at home but her lessons are in chlorinated water, I wouldn't stop going though....every child should learn how to swim, especially here in Australia where we have so many beaches and pools.

AFM this jet lag is horrible. Lila is only now getting back into some kind of routine but she has been not wanting to go to bed and really chucking massive wobblies when we try to get her to sleep. We even resorted to giving her some phernergan the night before last and it kind of worked.
Sienna is all over the shop too. its really hard for me now to get the time to feed her plus solids as lila still needs a hand with her food, especially in the mornings. We started her on solids when we were o/s but it's only once a day at the moment and I too feel like I being a bad mother. Shouldn't I be feeding her 3 times a day now? I know with Lila that I even had time to make her food but now I have only given Sienna rice cereal and apples. Im just so exausted. Last night I was up till 2.30 with Sienna. I got her to sleep at 11.30 after she woke at 8.30 but it took me 3 hours to do that and that was even after she had a big bowl of the cereal and a massive breastfeed. I think she is over tired and exausted herself. so so so tired.... wish I could sleep but hubby is and sienna won't so someone has to stay awake!...
xoxoxo
p.s the trip was awesome :)