Kaz - I hear you with the decisions that were good at the time, but now seem bad. You know hun you did the right thing at the right time, even though the outcome wasn't what you thought it would be. It is so daunting to know what is the 'right' decision, particularly with medical personal all standing around going "Well you could do x or do y or do z" and when all you can think about is "I want my baby in my arms safely" its hard to logically progress through each option.

In hindsight, I would have done a lot of things differently... but then different decisions may lead to different outcomes, or they may just have lead to the same thing happening but just as a result of a different path...

I like to think that these things that happen to us, are sent to test us or are sent as lessons for us to learn, to resolve something in our past, something we needed to address or remedy - like karma and other buddist philosophies... I'll go back to my corner now.. I'm getting a little too way out there even for me!

Ali - sorry to hear that you're not well.. you should go to the dr... I wonder what it is at night that gives you that reaction... could it be like a food allergy? I know there is a lot of hayfever here at the moment.

Gotta go, got a whingy clingy baby... sigh...