Babies born~June 16th-30th 2010 #1

[Dansta]

wow i have time to reply today 0_o

elf- 10mins isn't too bad. there have been studies that show if a baby is left to CIO for 30mins (i think it was) plus it affects the development of their brain. 'cus after a while they kinda "turn off" and go into survival mode which means to sleep - and they can also become detached from people later on in life. i've done the same with DJ - we 'grizzle' it out from time to time. when hes over tired (thanks DH ) but if he crys then im in there quick smart. after listening to him cry/scream for over 6hours in hospital when we where in with failure to thrive - unable to feed him due to "timed mesured" feeds (dont ask me...i get angry thinking about it) i cant do CIO IKWIM?
as for elder siblings...if you find out lemme know. DJ isn't quite old enough to understand "gentle" and thinks vic's foot is a teething toy 0_o ohh and likes licking his head too...

[deletedit]

My toddler is old enough to understand gentle because we have a cat, and if you're not gentle to the cat she rips your arm off and generally leaves you a bloody mess so there was a big incentive to learn gentle But she doesn't understand that robust play can have consequences and there's no point even trying to teach her yet. I'm getting quite used to breastfeeding with 14kg of lump climbing all over me, pointing at the baby, sticking her face right in his face, checking if he's finished yet, fiddling with his fingers, wiggling his arms "baby's waving!" etc. I'm amazed he puts up with it. Boobies are obviously SO good they completely cancel out big sisters

Other big sister has held him once but otherwise ignores him. He's usually asleep when she's around.

[Bad Mummy]

Poopie - my mum keeps insisting that I need to feed Abi to a schedule and that she doesn't understand why I'd demand feed. Unfortunately my brain is so broken I can never come up with a good reason so mostly I just nod and go back to doing things my way. We're not good with routines and schedules in this house. DD1 wasn't at all interested in having one so we've never had one. I don't think we'll be doing it with DD2 either.

Re: breast pads, I have some Avent washable ones and some other ones someone gave me at my baby shower. I'm not sure were they came from, but they've got valor on the side that comes into contact with my skin. They're really nice and don't stick.

Things haven't been easy here. Abi's a month old now and I noticed a couple of days ago that her bottom teeth are starting to come through! I guess it explains her constantly wanting to feed and the not sleeping - a couple of times she's stayed away pretty much all night and we've only gotten two hours sleep. At the moment the longest amount of sleep we're getting is four hours, at least it's solid sleep though and she's started sleeping in her bassinet rather than wanting to be held all night long. I'm exhausted though. It doesn't help that DD1 has started throwing tantrums when ever Abi starts to play up.

We weighed Abi on Thursday, she's 3.1kg now so she hasn't quite gained as much as she "should" have. A friend gave me a link to the WHO's growth charts for breastfed babies but she's still fallen slightly on that. I'm trying not to panic but it's hard after everything that happened with Erin's weight.

Anyway, have a great week end all.
Bec

[deletedit]

I was given some Johnson & Johnson breast pads, they are great! They have a dent to put your nipple in and sticky strip on the back.

By the sounds of it, I've somehow managed a boring, trouble-free pregnancy, a totally complication-free natural birth (even if it was on the floor) and a very easy baby. Must be karma for DD#2 the Grumpygrouch

[Jennifer G]

Poopie- Glad the book is helping- it was a bit of a lifesaver for me. The other lifesaver for me was a baby carrier. DS was very unsettled, and needed to be held A LOT and liked being close to me and scrunched up. ERGO baby carrier is fantastic, but I had a simple cloth sling and a hug a bub style wrap before I found the ERGO.
I'm not feeling the blues this time around, but with my first, I very much did. I didn't have PND, but those first weeks were so hard, with so much screaming and so little sleeping, that I didn't cope very well at all. I remember at one point about this age lying there thinking if someone came in and offered to take my baby away (forever), the only thing that would stop me would be the knowledge that I would regret it later. I wish someone had explained clearly that after a few weeks things do settle down and get more bearable- for me it was 5/6 weeks- before that I thought it was going to be like that for months, and I couldn't cope with that prospect.
Emilyn has pimples covering her face, scalp, ears, neck, chest and back. The chest and back are worst- at least a hundred on each- it looks so sore, but it doesn't bother her.

RumpledElf- I agree that cry it out means different things for different babies. My son would never self settle and if left it would escalate and be distressing for both him and us, and I wouldn't have dreamed of abandoning him to suffer on his own. This baby hardly ever cries, except for a few bouts of discomfort from gas once a day or so. She can be put down awake, and if she stirs, she often needs no input to settle herself- which doesn't bother me because she is not suffering at all.

[AngelPants]

phew ive finally got time to post.

jennifer- DS had that but it turned into a massive horrible rash and it turned out to be an allergic reaction to something i ate. we r off to the natropath nxt week to try and find out what, but we are thinking its tomatoes cos its amost cleared up & i havnt had tomatoes since sunday.. coconut oil and neem seed oil are really gd if it starts bothering her....

ok i started writing this yest @ 5pmish, continued:

bad mummy- eep teething already! thats a bit scary!
poopie- i no the feeling about crying whenever they cry. my biggest issue is DF is working heaps so i dont even get an oportunity to handball him much. im glad that book is working, as MIL has said, sleep deprivation is used as a very effective form of torture so its ok if coping is hard. im using disposable breast pads, but i havnt had too many issues with leaking except over night when DS doesnt feed as often (some nights he sleeps 6hrs )
elf- hehehe awe sounds like ur boobies are pretty good!!
dansta- the thought of DJ CIO for that long makes my heart hurt. the longest DS has been left to cry has been when he cried and i was in the shower and it took me about 5ish min to get the shampoo out of my hair (ive got friggin waist length hair), by that time he was asleep again so i went and hopped back in and finished my shower. since then i hav waited til DF or someone else is home to have a shower.
alex- we are down on the list for a mothers group with our child and youth health centre, just waiting for enough other mummies to have a complete one cos the 1st couple of meetings are with a paed nurse/midwife.

if i have the blues depends on when you ask me and what particular day lol im freaking exhausted atm cos just when he started geting over his rash and sleeping (1st few days after it started going away he slept for 4 8hr blocks after not sleeping much for days) hes been unsettled the last 2 nights with really bad wind. any one got any suggestions? we havnt been able to burp it out or anything so DS has been sleeping in blocks of 10min-1hr max before waking up screaming i ended up bailing on the BB adelaide meeting yest cos i was sooo tired, DF slept thru it all on fri night and i didnt hav the heart to wake him since he had to be at work on a sat at 7:30am. i made sure he helped me last night tho, i couldnt have handled 2 nights of this. so we were both tired and didnt stay long at our friends bubs 1st bday that we had today.

on the upside there is only 2 little patches of scabs left to heal and then hes rash free and i bought DS his outfit for my sister's wedding at the end of august, some very VERY cute overalls from pumpkin patch and plain white bodysuit. now i just have to start thinking about what im going to wear...*strokes chin* i hear a new dress and shoes coming hehehehe

i no its a bit early but r any of u VIC girls going to be in melb around xmas new years (and maybe the october long weekend depending on money)? we will be invading melbourne to visit my dad and his partner...

ooh AND im finally turning 21 in late august, im not bothering with a big party or anything (it all sounds too much like hard work). i think dinner with the family at a nice restaurant sounds like an awesome idea. mums disappointed cos she wanted us to have a joint wedding, 21st party lol

anyway my 5mins of peace are up, hope everyone is still enjoying their snuggles
xx

[sas85]

Poopie: Yeah, another one for depends when you ask me if I'm feeling the blue's or not. I would say overall I'm feeling a LOT better than with DD1, am much more confident, I know exactly what DD2 wants and had a much more positive start to life as well - BUUUUT I am overwhelmed most days at some point with total despair over my crappy breasts. and doesnt' have to be much to set me off, my BF had a baby less than 2 wseeks after me and messaged me to tell me about her great weight gain (all on BM) and while I'm pleased it's all going so well for her I just wanted to cry. If it persists for more than a few weeks or you feel you not coping see your doc though as the baby blues should only go on for a few weeks max and pnd is so treatable if it turns into that. :-)

Seems like everybodys boobs do what they're supposed to except mine, was watching a documentary on stupid dairy cows this morning which got me upset (again) as I'm taking frikkin 12 Motillium (massive dose) a day, still can't lose at least one comp feed without a very hungry baby grunting, tugging and making sad noises at my boobs for hours until she falls asleep exhausted - I can't do that, it's not wind, it's not arsenic hour, it's plain and simple hunger - so I give her a bottle in the evening) and obviously she wants more now that she's getting bigger, so I'm trying not to increase but have to start coming down off the motillium now so is just looking like it's going to get worse, it's just not fair.

Elf: I don't know how they survive either - DD1 LOVES DD2, she always wants to kiss her and cuddle her (which means press her head really hard down on poor Lilah's little head so I have to try and pry her head off her) and I can't leave them alone together for a second as Elly is just too little to understand.

[deletedit]

Seems like everybodys boobs do what they're supposed to except mine

Eh, I think you'll find plenty other people's don't work 100% too, they're just NOT ringing you to gloat. People with issues aren't going to broadcast them IRL, odds are they're either in a corner feeling like failures themselves if they've got all worked up to BF and it didn't go to plan. But others just keep on keeping on - I've been chatting to someone who has a 10 month old and she just mentioned in passing she didn't BF because it didn't work. If it works, it works, if it doesn't, there's alternatives.

Interestingly, in our antenatal classes - which had several mothers who weren't first-timers - while they were doing the BF classes with the standard 'breast is best' angle, the midwife asked who had breastfed before and you know what? I was the only one. And my MIL doesn't 'get' this BF thing at all because she had no milk and fed both of hers on Carnation milk ...

[Dansta]

sas: its hard isnt it when things dont "click"? with DJ i had feeding issues - due to toung tie with him. and his lack of suck also. i used to beat myself up about it. mainly before vic was born i cried for about 2 hours with DH finaly admiting to myself i felt my body had failed. but you know something? yes this time things are "working out" but i've fpund myself spending alot of time watching/thinking/almost waiting for it to come crashing down. you are doing a wonderful job sas. your a friggin' legend for trying. talking to my nanna about bf she couldn't feed eather of her two (my mum and aunt) due to speration from birth until day 3 (due to PPH that required a blood transfusion) and flat nipples. she couldn't express becuase it hurt to. my mum couldn't feed my sister due to lack of sucking ablity but she managed with me - but she also comp-fed me. and i think i turned out ok (most of the time ) have you seen an LC? a good one can help with attachment and supply..

'mar: lol i'm the same even now with the boys. neather of them CIO. although Vic will have a grumble some times before he sleeps...he did that hismoring and had a wonderful poo splostion! ( :rolleye: baby love poopoo poutch pfft!) yep, i know my mob will be around for christmas/new year! no long hall drives this year! and yay for your 21st. a nice dinner sounds good. i had the oppset problem - every one thought i'd have a small get together...but small = 40 people LOL enjoy it!

AFM: alrite. WTF is with vic and poo spostoins?!? he's done three in the past week! but the upside is he's pooing every other day now (i am sooo looking forward to the once aweek poos lol) but at the same time i'm not used to it! after all the issues we had with DJ - the worry about weight gain i'm a little stressed waiting for it all to come crashing down. plus a baby who sleeps, eats, looks around feeds and goes back to sleep is something im not used to eather. (thank god vic wasn't a floppy baby eather or i'd be really lost!) i have in the last few days found myself to be really angry at things. well three thinks a) my bodys failure to birth a healthy baby they didn't need to stay in hospital for a week or more 2) my folks and their lack of ablity to see how hard things have been on DH and I (a cousin of mine had her baby 9 days before vic was born and suffers from Bi-polar and my dad had the gall to tell DH while standing in ICU that my cousin and his wife where "going though hell" while they have his mum and dad 30seconds down the road Vs over an hour away for us at that point and her mum there for the first week'n' a half...while i was in hopsital with vic for nine days ) and 3) my BIL and SIL. they gave us a card for vic. that they didn't write who it was two. just from 0_o and now MIL and FIL are angry 'cus DH sent them a text telling them we didn't want to exchange xmas pressies this year. and we think he told MIL and FIL (we didn't tell him not to) but i'm OVER playing nice. im sorry but if you can't respect me (or enough to be nice and reciginse that i birthed both my babies) then you dont get anything todo with them! no doubt my SIL plaied a HUGE roll in this. she can't stand me due to my 'out going nature" ohh well.
ooops better go feed the snapping turtle! (thats what vic looks like when he wakes up hungry lol!)

[Asparagus and Lemons]

Rump - Carnation Milk? As in the tinned stuff!? Goodness!

My boobies arent the greatest either sas, After the boob infection, I still have alot of pain in one side when Harlee is feeding. Its horrible, I have been tempted to just feed off one side but I know I would be worse off. Although I do have a large supply of milk, so I feel for you in that aspect.

As for the blues, I am getting better, I have realised its not just the new baby thing that is getting me down. Its dh (and his family) He does not help anymore, unless I beg him because he says he 'works' and cant do anything. I dont get that. He still expects me to make dinner for him and do all the housework for him. He gets home from work and plays with the dog and plays in the shed before he decides to come inside and say hello to his family. EVERY weekend for a while now he has been spending with his friends going motorbike riding and visiting them at their house. During the week he has 2 or 3 'boys nights' Last saturday I managed to get the vaccuuming done, I moped, tidyed the whole house, cleaned all surfaces, washed the sheets, rearranged the lounge to fit Harlees cot in better and did 2 more loads of washing while Harlee slept. Then Harlee had a moment and one of my friends came over in the arvo to help out. Harlee was screaming when dh came home and he had the guts to get pooed off at me in front of my friend because I didnt put wood in the fire(it was still going though!) AND I did not take out the rubbish. My friend felt very awkward. I then asked dh if he could grab the washing off the line and he made lots of thumping and made a big fuss about it. When my friend left, I was in tears.. again. Dh had gone out again to find firewood.. not that we need any.. so I was alone again. But the MIL tells me he needs a break from the Havock in our household. He needs 'his' time. She also told me yesturday that its a 'good idea' if when we have guests over I should lock myself in my bedroom to feed Harlee.
Oh and we were about to get an early night on thursday.. I got Harlee to sleep at 7.30pm, dh was in the shower, and I turned off the lights and was about to put Harlee down when IN BARGE THE INLAWS.. 'oh are you going to have an early night? how nice.' Then they fuss around rubbing Harlee's head and wake her up. They hang around for an hour and a half and Harlee doesnt get to sleep till 10.30. Nevermind them saying they would never enter if the lights are off.. Or who cares about calling first!
And dh refuses to turn off his phone.. quite often while we are sleeping OFF goes his phone and wakes everybody up. He has the most loudest, frustratingest ringtone you could imagine. I want to hit him really hard with something really hard.
So really Harlee is the least of my worries at the moment.
..complain much?

Also I have been demand feeding.. rather than routining it, Harlee has her own way of doing things, but feeding every 2 hours.. is that normal? It seems like a lot to me!! Sometimes she tries to get a feed an hour after a feed too! The last 2 days she has not had any awake time either.. Im starting to worry.. maybe a growth spurt? She's so quiet and I have nothing to do during the night but.. sleep?

cmar - Harlee has a burping problem too, sometimes I will be burping her up to her next feed, and quite often she'll wake 10 mins after I put her to sleep because she has wind. Its a real pain because its usually when I have *just* gotten into bed. I have been told to give her a few drops of camomile or gripe water before I feed her but I've not yet attempted it. I'm not prepared to put anything other than a boobie in her mouth just yet. Another way to get rid of wind out the other end is to massage the belly downwards, and then hold the feet and gently push the knees into the belly, Harlee will usually do a good poop and fart after Ive done that a few times. And we'll def be around at christmas time!!

Dansta - OOOoo the poosplosions! Harlee has done 3 (YES 3!!) TODAY!! They are messy messy messy.. and the poo often sticks to her bum and legs so I've ended up getting a bowl of water and washing her from head to toe. icky.

Has anybodys bubs been experincing the sneeze/farts? I reakon its a crack up! So lady like too.. hiding her farts with a cough or a sneeze. hehehe..

[Bad Mummy]

Poopie - yup, 2 hourly feeds is pretty normal. I'm sorry things aren't that great for you at home, sometimes family/partners have really high expectations and really don't understand what your life is really like.

We've been having a few really difficult days lately. Abi's become really clingy and wont let us put her down, she wants to nurse almost constantly--sometimes all I do is change sides. I'm ending up in tears most evenings because she wont stop crying. I don't really know what to do with her or if it's a problem with me, milk wise :|

[Dansta]

poopie: tell your DH to get his bum into gear. his job is (we'll guessume lol) 9am-5pm. yours is 24/7 he can give you some slack. as for your IL's they rock up whip your boob out and leave it out! dont like it FARK off. i've done it before to my family LOL. your house your rules. you want to have your boobie out to "dry it" after a feed DO IT! dont feel you need to be a prude like your MIL. pfft to her. she can deal with it. as for the 2hr feeds yeep normal. growth spert. from memory they happen at 2,4,6 and 12 weeks i think. so enjoy LOL

BadM: could be a growth spert and wanting more milk. vic is like that too some times.

AFM: just found out my cousins who are expecting twins will have their little girls earth side within a week seeing as twin A is having cord flow issues. i'm in a spin for them. better go and see if i can hunt down some clothes for my cousin to wear while in hospital...

[deletedit]

LOL yes, tinned milk. Those were the days.

Poopie - your life sounds awful at the moment. I couldn't live like that. Does he even know what he is like?

Has anybodys bubs been experincing the sneeze/farts? I reakon its a crack up! So lady like too.. hiding her farts with a cough or a sneeze. hehehe..

I have a boy. He waits for quiet patches in the TV or gaps in conversation and does amazing ripper extended loud farts that make my lap vibrate. Hmmmmmmm.

[AngelPants]

poopie- i would give him a gd kick up the bum. my trick is to just do nothing at all and say sorry, ive had my hands full, how much have u done? or pull the sexist card....

on 2nd thoughts i will gladly come and kick him for u

[sas85]

Wow Poopie - Would I be right in guessing your DH doesn't have many friends who are Fathers yet, it just sounds like he has absolutely NO idea how time consuming it is looking after a baby BUT on the other hand if he needs soooo much ME time, then he must know it's totally, totally hectic work - so which is it? I would be bringing up the unreasonableness and contradiction of piling on the expectations of being a stepford wife with the meticulous house (and it sounds like you did super well too) as if it's breezy having a baby and you just sit around all day playing with her like a doll, or it being so stressful for him to even be present while you deal with the hecticness of looking after bub that he has to have time out - seems like he needs someone he respects to sit down and talk to him about it as it sounds really overwhelming for you chicky.Dopn't suppose its possible for you to leave DH with Harlee, a list of chores, and some EBM while you have some me time to show him what is really involved with looking after bub and house.
Boob infections are nasty, I had really bad cracked nipple with DD1 led to mastitis and it was awful, I hope yours finally clears up once and for all soon.
2 Hourly feeds - totally normal, totally healthy, 8-12 feeds minimum for most breastfed babies at this age in a day.

Dansya - We're so tough on ourselves, even the things beyond our control bubs being born sick isn't something you can do anything about, but fwiw my mum had two born sick with infections in SCN really ill, and then I was born and was fine and healthy it was no reflection on her mothering or ability to birth a bub that she happenned to have two sick ones, just coincidence I have seen lactation consultant plus MHCN's plus got advice from Barb Glare on here with both girls plus my GP - I have awesome attachment, a beautiful feeder and no issues at the start of our breastfeeding relationship like I did with DD1 but the same massive supply issue - I'm just one of those 1% but it breaks my heart and I'm terrified I'm going to have to comp so much more once I come down off the motillium (I just can't stay on it long term again, I can't hack the headaches and not that I care now or even intend on trying soon but it totally, totally kills my libido, and ends up costing me about as much as formula anyway, more so if I take it with fenugreek )

Elf: Thanks, you are no doubt right. Carnation Milk shudder, yes, that is why it says on the tin now it is not an adequate milk food for under 2's because they used to use it a lot back then, eeeep!

BM - You're doing better than me, I can't hack what I call 'the constant feed attempt" Where I've been drained dry and am switching back and forth between boobs but bub is getting more and more worked up and no swallowing is happening. What are bubs nappies like, are you getting the prescribed wet and dirty nappies? If you are it is probably just the 6 weekish growth spurt happenning with bub working to get your milk up, if you are worried about wet nappies, take bub for a weigh and to you MHCN which will let you know if it could be a legitimate milk issue or if its just bubs fussy period.

So - everyone: Other than you skinny-minny me's - how much weight does everyone have to lose still? I have 8-10kg to be back to pre DD1&2's weight, about 5 to get back into my pants comfortably, and am too damn tired to excercise Woe.

[Bad Mummy]

Sas - the only thing that keeps me from going completely insane is my little stash of EBM in the freezer. When it gets to the point that I'm REALLY over it I give her a bottle which seems to fill her up enough that she goes to sleep for at least an hour.

I don't know how many wet/dirty nappies she has each day (I keep meaning to count but always forget) but I'm pretty sure it's plenty. I have to remind myself of that when she's whinging for more milk. Weight wise, her gains are okay, she's sticking to the 15th percentile at least. We have scales at home from when we had to weigh Erin every week (she was tube fed between her first and second birthday).

My weight wise. I'm pretty overweight to begin with so keep that in mind when I say - I lost 2kg during my pregnancy and have lost another 15kg since Abi was born. I have no idea why, it'd be great if it kept happening though because I'd like to loose another 25kg if that's okay.

[deletedit]

I lost 10kg in the first week post-baby, so 11kg to go, and 11kg to get into my old pants lol ... all my extra weight is below the waist and on boobs so my old pants are literally the last things I'll fit back into. As to boobs, I'm a 10i right now, which sounds like a kind of computer not a bra size. My tummy is rapidly returning to its old shape at least and I don't look 6 months pregnant anymore, but these boobs will be huge until I quit BF.

I'm just planning to lose about 1kg a month while eating absolutely everything in sight and not exercising. Its worked twice before, it should work this time too - what's so different about being 35 to being 25

[AngelPants]

im sorry but 10I!?!?! jeez elf and dansta was saying her boobs were going to take over the world lol i think yours will beat her to it!
the biggest my bobbies got was when my milk was coming in and that was just fitting into a 12DD, now back to 10DD and shrinking...

poopie- sas's suggestion is much more productive than mine i think u should definately leave harlee with him for a bit and go shopping! shopping fixes everything!! or maybe see a movie...