Babies born~June 1st-15th 2010 #1

[Kangaskippy]

Ok... the MIL is starting to get to me.
I would like:
-to have DS sleep in his cot & me in the room next door. I can hear him, but not be kept wide awake by every snuffle & fart.
-to not have DS cooed & talked to & poked at during night feeds. He has a job to do & then go back to sleep - 3am is inappropriate awake time.
-to sooth my son without a dummy every time. Jamming in his mouth & him sucking madly is not the same as restful sleep (especially if he cries when he drops the dummy).
-to cuddle my son after a feed occasionally, without being guilted to hand him over because I 'have the rest of his life to cuddle him'. I don't have him as a newborn for the rest of his life.
-to not race her to his side every time he squarks. Let me pick up my own son once in a while.
-her to change his nappy if she insists on being the first person to pick him up all the time.

Otherwise, she is extremely helpful with the cooking & cleaning, but if she could just give me some time with my son, I am happy to share.

I was bullied into getting a bassinet & now I feel like a neglectful mother for not being able to sleep with him next to my bed. I can sleep with him in the bed, and in the next room, but next to the bed for one night had me in tears by midnight, and DH was being kept awake by the snuffles & farts too. He works in a very dangerous profession where sleep-deprivation is equal to being drunk - it just can't happen.

*sigh* Otherwise, we're really well. Jack is still a little champion. Feeding & sleeping well, and increasing his awake time every day to look & learn.

wow, you are a whole lot more patient than I would be (with my MIL or my mother for that matter) xxxxmez

[entreat]

I LOVE your photos Maz... how do you get him awake without the squarks??? Actually, Jack has lots of time without squarking, but I'm too giddy with wonder that I fail to pick up the camera... Bad mum I am.

I had to diffuse MIL situation today. She has been feeding off my stress (all internal - I freak sometimes about not being a good mum, and am also the sort of person that needs a cry sometimes), and that has been stressing her. She announced to DH this morning that her & FIL were checking into a hotel & would be flying out before the end of the week. Suffice to say, DH was devastated. He loves his parents dearly, and thanks to his ex-wife, didn't get to talk to his mum for 5 long years. He was really terrified that his mum had taken something the wrong way, and he wasn't going to see her again for a long time. All morning we were trying to convince her to stay, and it was met with a stubborn 'no', and some story about us needing to settle back into our lives. It took until DH was about to drive them to the hotel (with tears in his eyes & a look of defeat that breaks my heart) to finally convince her to stay.

Although I vented the other day about her, she really has been wonderful. The house has never been cleaner! And I would never want her to stay at hotel - in fact, that would stress me more. Not to mention breaking her son's heart. I know there's an element of emotional blackmail in what she pulled (DH's sisters have gone through phases of not talking to her over similar stunts). I really did want to say: 'if you're crabby with me, so be it. Don't take it out on your son or grandson.' But... I also realised my part in it. I have been allowing myself to get crabby too, and not showing my appreciation & gratefulness for her effort here. And I also have to accept that she will not see Jack for a long time after she has gone back to Tassie, so I need to let her have more time with him.

Enough about me...
Welcome Juliette & Aimee!! Our babies share the same birthday! And i eases me to know I'm not the only anxious one. I honestly thought I was! *hugs* to you when you need them.

SAK- I used the pump to take the edge off the gigantic morning BB's (otherwise poor Jack struggled to attach), and less for expressing a full feed. Do you think that might help the leaking? If it helps, I still leak when I feed! Especially the left one. It's like I've blown an o-ring on a tap & it just runs out. The poor couch is gonna start smelling like sour milk if don't catch it with a spare cloth (one cloth for baby-spills, one for boob-spills).

Seph- Your birth story is amazing. I agree with you about the shift changes of the staff. I wish you could get at least two days with one middy/nurse. We were in hossy for 4 nights & never had the same nurses. I don't know if it's engineered that way so you don't rely on one person, but it would have been nice to have some continuity with care/advice. I had 4 different people on 3 different days check my breastfeeding (because I'd managed to mince my nipples with the first feed thanks to the epidural). Not to mention the conflicting advice on everything!
But although your experience is traumatising, I really admire that you have put it all into words to begin the healing. Parts of it will always suck, but you have so many positives in there. Xx

How's everyone else? Big warm winter snuggles to everyone. Xx Hope you're keeping those bubs toasty warm.

[Kangaskippy]

I LOVE your photos Maz... how do you get him awake without the squarks??? Actually, Jack has lots of time without squarking, but I'm too giddy with wonder that I fail to pick up the camera... Bad mum I am.

I had to diffuse MIL situation today. She has been feeding off my stress (all internal - I freak sometimes about not being a good mum, and am also the sort of person that needs a cry sometimes), and that has been stressing her. She announced to DH this morning that her & FIL were checking into a hotel & would be flying out before the end of the week. Suffice to say, DH was devastated. He loves his parents dearly, and thanks to his ex-wife, didn't get to talk to his mum for 5 long years. He was really terrified that his mum had taken something the wrong way, and he wasn't going to see her again for a long time. All morning we were trying to convince her to stay, and it was met with a stubborn 'no', and some story about us needing to settle back into our lives. It took until DH was about to drive them to the hotel (with tears in his eyes & a look of defeat that breaks my heart) to finally convince her to stay.

*hugs* re: MIL...it's hard sometimes to keep everyone happy as well as yourself..vent away here, at least then you won't be bottling it up and it may help you deal with the situation whilst you MIL is visiting xxxx

I have gotten into a habit of whipping the camera out and the older kids now just groan, lol...I have also decided to start taking some pics of luke in all the cute outfits he has been given before he grows out of them!! so tomorrow it will be crochet/knitted items, lol...(as they are the smallest) then I can send photo's to everyone who gave him something special of him in it or with it...(which I never did with the other boys and some stuff never got used)

[Kangaskippy]

I LOVE your photos Maz... how do you get him awake without the squarks??? Actually, Jack has lots of time without squarking, but I'm too giddy with wonder that I fail to pick up the camera... Bad mum I am.

I had to diffuse MIL situation today. She has been feeding off my stress (all internal - I freak sometimes about not being a good mum, and am also the sort of person that needs a cry sometimes), and that has been stressing her. She announced to DH this morning that her & FIL were checking into a hotel & would be flying out before the end of the week. Suffice to say, DH was devastated. He loves his parents dearly, and thanks to his ex-wife, didn't get to talk to his mum for 5 long years. He was really terrified that his mum had taken something the wrong way, and he wasn't going to see her again for a long time. All morning we were trying to convince her to stay, and it was met with a stubborn 'no', and some story about us needing to settle back into our lives. It took until DH was about to drive them to the hotel (with tears in his eyes & a look of defeat that breaks my heart) to finally convince her to stay.

*hugs* re: MIL...it's hard sometimes to keep everyone happy as well as yourself..vent away here, at least then you won't be bottling it up and it may help you deal with the situation whilst you MIL is visiting xxxx

I have gotten into a habit of whipping the camera out and the older kids now just groan, lol...I have also decided to start taking some pics of luke in all the cute outfits he has been given before he grows out of them!! so tomorrow it will be crochet/knitted items, lol...(as they are the smallest) then I can send photo's to everyone who gave him something special of him in it or with it...(which I never did with the other boys and some stuff never got used)

[Persephone1]

Can't stay long today but wanted to see if anyone in Melbourne would like to come along to the High Tea at the Windsor on 17 July: Melbourne Meet-Up

Would be good to meet some of the Buddies group, not sure who else is in Melbourne besides myself and Mrs Hendo...

[starangelk]

Hi guys

Entreat - I soooo feel for you. It must be in law day - mine were here today but only for ONE day and I was at the office for 5 hours of their visit so barely saw them! I agree, your MIL did do a bit of manipulating and as much as that sux, I think you handled things really really well asking her to stay and realising how the situation was effecting your DH and your little one. Hopefully now that things have come out in the open a bit more she will realise that YOU are the mum and she is the grandparent and see her role there. On another note - I am SO HAPPY I am not the only one using a cloth for boob spills - hee hee. TBH, I am using a towel and about 2/3rds of it ends up soaked.....yep, that's how much I am leaking. I even had a dream the other night that my whole nipple came off and milk flowed out like a tap!! Thanks for your advice about the pump, I have been trying not to express as per the lactation consultants advice but I am seeing her again on Wednesday and I'll ask her about this again. She said if I really really needed to I can hand express but only enough for comfort - but meanwhile, this supply issue doesn't seem to be getting any better.

Welcome Juliette and congratulations on the birth of Aimee - look forward to getting to know you better.

Kanga - those photos are gorgeous gorgeous. Happy to see I am not the only camera happy girl!

Seph - I am on the Gold Coast, I wish some of you guys were closer so we could have a meet up

Hope you guys are having a great week.

[entreat]

How do you feel about homeopathics?
I was given a kit of pilules from my girlfriend & I swear by it now. I've never really taken much before, but I have found it a huge supportive help. In my little 'self prescribing guide', there are a couple of remedies that may help: 1) Urtica Urens (when supply is low or over abundant with no obvious cause. Helps establish good supply), 2) BellaDonna (breasts engorged, red, hard, hot, inflamed, throbbing, painful, especially right sided. Supply can be over abundant), and 3) Calc Carb (breasts full & sore, but supply low, or copious but of poor quality. Mum can be sensitive, fearful, and prone to cold sweats). Or maybe Pulsatilla (supply low with thin watery milk in mild, weepy women, or copious but changeable as are the emotions. Helps to balance the hormones). I have been using a variety from the kit, depending on how/what I'm feeling.

Seph - I'd love to join you, but I think a trip to melbourne at this stage is a little over my head! But I hope you guys have a great time.

[Visitor8]

Hi girls! Sorry I haven't popped in much the last week or so! Been flat chat!

Most of you probably already know but I went to Hobart on Friday and only got back today. THAT was a challenge as it's a 4.5 hour trip with 2 busses lol But I made it there and back safely and we managed pretty well I think! The hardest part was juggling all the stuff as I had 4 kids, 2 car seats, 2 kiddy suitcases and a big backpackers bag and the pram LOL it's amazing what you can do though if you are determined enough! Just can't want until I get my licence! Going in on Wednesday to book my P test! I have a car I am picking up from Hobart in about 2-3 weeks so just need my licence!

Elijah is doing wonderfully! He had a couple of nights of constant feeding. Not sure if it was a growth spurt or just being in a different house. He also got very rashy on his face while we were there which has settled since we got home... interesting...

I feel good. Things have been a bit emotional in my head lately to do with the ex and certain conversations that have brought up a lot of old **** etc... so I am glad I took those 4 days away from it all to calm my mind!

Can't believe Elijah is a month old

[starangelk]

Thanks Entreat - I am going to look into that......I think the Urtica Urens might be the way to go from your description.....I know nothing about this so will have to do some serious reading. Thanks again

Welcome back Missymoo - glad you could clear your head. Don't let the ex get to you!

[Mrs McAwesome]

Welcome Juliette I am looking forward to getting to know u better.

Seph I would love to come to high tea but just can't afford it ATM. Would love to catch up one day soon for coffee at Doncaster though.

SAK- I'm in brisbane at the end of this month. If I can manage it I would love to pop down to the gold coast for the day. Maybe we could meet for coffee..

Well that's all for me tonight. Screaming baby she seems to always know when I am taking 5 minutes to myself.

[entreat]

Found a lact consultant/homeopath in Brisbane!
Patricia Hatherly. She has a website too.