I know Prama. We're just kind of ignoring it at the moment. Both of us.
I just don't know what I want most of the time, but other times I do want him out. He is kind of helping me out, but loosing patience fast. He's sick of me not being able to do much. Not that he's getting off his arse much. He's done a few things to help, but he won't take over for me, even though he's not doing anything else.
I can't tell him how I feel. It sux. I haven't been keeping much food down, so I have no energy. I feel like I'm going to pass out all the time. I'm pretty sure I'm dehydrated, but can't do anything about it. Except try to keep fluids down.
I try to wash up & cook tea everyday & thats hard. I do get up & get the kids out the door every morning.
I still think every day what an idiot I am for letting this happen. Not just coz of the problems with him, but coz I feel the way I do. This is why I wasn't going to have anymore. At least not for a lot of years. Coz I have such a hard time trying to look after the other kids. They are suffering coz of it.

Anyway. Sorry guys. having a hard time still.