LJ, don't start worrying that you are getting PND. Have you thought that maybe it's not you and it's him showing signs of PND?

You said that you had PND after DS was born - I hope you don't have people around you that suggest that you are going down this path again. Nothing worse than wellmeaning(????)people who think (and say) "oh, she's got PND - you know she had it with her first child".

You've been at home with a sick toddler and a new baby and need to give yourself a break. Your DH is a grown man and can make up his own bloody mind what he wants to do for his birthday - it's not like it suddenly crept up on him, I'm sure he's well aware what date he was born!!

Then it is lunch time and DH asks if I want a burger and chips as he doesn't want lunch..I ask why not and he says he wanted to go out for lunch but I wouldn't go...
Sounds to me like he was sulking because he didn't get his own way, or rather that he wasn't the centre of your attention (that would be your kids). Sorry to be hard on your husband, but judging from his mother's self-centered ways I guess sometimes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Personally I think your MIL should have brought around lunch for you (some lovely yummy takeaway) then set the menfolk to clean up afterwards while you lounged about on the couch with a girly movie.

With regards to going surfing in the mornings on weekends. I would ask him straight out, are you going surfing - yes or no answer thanks. You're going, then okay. I'll get up early and you can take care of the kids while I get a shower and get some breakfast together for myself - then he can take off!

Please feel free to vent, don't keep it bottled up inside. Sometimes it just makes things better to get them out there in the open.