Babies born~November 1st-15th 2009 #1

[Tecopa]

Hey!

I am still here - just been too busying with kiddo to write about kiddo lol. My family has already done Xmas - had my Nanna visit from Brisbane as well as Mum and went to my sister's house - she has a four month old. It was chaos. I did crack it at one point to my Mum and tell her that to be honest, even though my grandmother looks all sweet and innocent that she was a c*nt. Ha. Ha. Sleep deprivation equals honesty.

Mum has been gone about 10 days now and I'm coping - some days JUST with a bit of tears and frustration and other days I think I'm really getting the hang of it all and enjoying it. Even made it to a Mum's and Bubs movie!

Elliott is smiling now and laughing a bit and I'm loving that. We sort of have a routine of sleep at 7pm, and up at 7 am with feeds at 10.30, 1.30, 4.30ish so it's pretty crazy to be a solo mum coping with all of that but I'm determined to feed on demand so whenever he wants he he gets it. The main issue is the noise he makes from 1.30 till 6 am or so - grunts, moans, squeals, sleep cries even. But after a week of trying everything I realised he is happy and content and asleep - just LOUD. So it's ear plugs for me since there is no where else to put him except his nursery which joins my room.

I am doing okay I think but I tend to forget to eat, and my puppies are a bit neglected. But the house is clean and I now have four backpackers in the spare rooms - pays the rent for the whole house LOL. I ask them to do the odd chore so that helps too.

I'm a bit frustrated with my body - back still sore so can't wear Elliott in my ergo too much which is hard cause it's great. Plus still got the last bits of bleeding from birth. And I think I have thrush on my nipples - went from being expert breastfeeder to massive pain and shiny pink nipples and me crying etc. But using a cream for that now and seems to be working.

I'm now down to two regular support people which sucks - all of those dozens of offers for help from my friends and it's fallen off pretty quick - from maybe 10 or more visitors in hospital down to Gunkle and another girl. I may have to look at hiring someone but at the moment I don't know what days or what time of day would help the most.

Elliott is now massive too - over five kilos at five weeks old lol. That's like almost 1.7 kg gain since birth! WOW.

Well that's me updated. Love to hear from everyone else!!

[GoingtobebiginAsia]

Hi all,
Not sure I will have time for personals... several storm fronts on the horizon, in the sky and with Poppy.

I loved reading the updates, have been offair for several days. For some unknown reason dad's acceptance of a Bigpond offer to upgrade his ADSL meant the internet didn't work. He spent a frustrating two days of the phone, poor bugger.

Poppy is still growing. She's not really giggling and smiling yet. She does a little hahaha occasionally but it's not really a proper smile. The last few days she's also stopped sleeping in the day and has been demanding a feed every two hours or so. Last night at 11pm she was still awake, after about three 10 minute naps through the day. She wasn't unsettled, just awake, kicking and squriming on the bed next to me. I know if I put her in the hammock before she's asleep she'll start crying. It had cooled down a bit so I wrapped her up and within seconds she was asleep. I tried it again this morning and she slept for two hours. But it's been too hot this afternoon to wrap her. Now it's raining and one of mum's dogs is barking at the thunder so she's not going to get to sleep, wrapped or unwrapped. Mum is now saying I should start feeding her solids if she's that hungry. But I think she's just having a growth spurt. I also think now she's more aware of her surroundings more things wake her up. Maybe her hearing's improved or something too.

We are on the countdown to returning to Vietnam. We haven't worked out where we're going to stay. That's making me feel a bit unsettled. I'm really going to miss mum and dad and having DP at home. He's just fantastic. He doesn't need so much sleep and because I've been so tired he's been doing most of the night feeds and taking her for extended periods during the day. I've just got back from the hairdresser! And I went and got a facial on Saturday with a voucher one of my friends gave me. It was bliss but far too short.

I'm going to get some blood tests done before I go back. I really don't think I should be so tired after seven weeks. I'm getting enough sleep and eating well and I don't feel so stressed but I feel so run down.

Anyway... there goes Poppy again. Time to "change actors" as DP says. I hope everyone has a wonderful first Christmas with their bubs.

[emma8108]

Hi all......

Heather - Alyssa is awake more through the day now too. hard to keep her occupied somedays but a walk outside usually does the trick. she just loves looking at everything happening around her. so bright and alert. my grandparents are here for chrissy and can't believe her. think they were expecting the sleepy little thing they saw when she was a week old and she does the same thing playing around when she's feeding then smiles and all the milk she's got in her mouth dribbles down mum. she also makes a fist and punches my boobs though and i can see that's going to get painful as she gets bigger!!

Tecopa - sounds ike you're doing a lot of nighttime feeds...... hopefully he'll drop one for you soon so you can have a bit of a longer sleep in the night somewhere!! Alyssa is a really loud sleeper for the second half of the night as well. usually after her night feed so from about 3 - 6. sounds like you're doing a great job!! if i was on my own i think i'd be living on toast and i hate to think what the house would look like. most days i've just got enough time to do a load of washing!! did clean my wardrobe out though. took 3 days and in the process every piece of clothing i owned was in the loungeroom!!!

GTBBIA - some days they just won't sleep will they!!! We had one sleep yesterday (it was a nice 3 hour one though so it meant mum could clean up a little bit before we have everyone here for chrissy) and then dozed on my grandmother while i was at mums for tea last night. it's amazing as they get more aware of where they are isn't it. i keep forgetting it's the first time they've seen things.. lucky you on the hair cut and facial. i'm planning a facial in january with my mum to say thankyou for how amazing she was through my labour and the first couple of weeks after the birth (and still is of course). DH can have a little bit of daddy daughter time. your iron levels might be down if you're really tired. mine still haven't come back to anywhere near the level they were while i was pregnant let alone before (that's thanks to me hemoraging after the birth thoug) and i know it's affecting my tiredness. mhy GPs just mointoring them and i'm on iron tablets and eating plenty of red meat.

AFM - we had our 6 week checks on monday. everything all good with mummy and daughter. Alyssa had her 8 week needles early (we've got a whooping cough outbreak so they're doing the needles at 6 weeks instead) and only screamed for a minute when they went in but she must have realised a couple of hours later that they were sore and then the wailing started. her poor little legs came up all red and hot. i gave her some baby panadol (which i was glad i went and got after she had her needles) and she calmed down pretty quickly and we managed to get her to bed. she was clingy all afternoon though so i held her from about 4 to 9 while she cryed. very stressful afternoon!!! she pretty much slept through last night. cause i wasn't home until nearly 10 by the time i gave her her last feed, changed her and put her down it was nearly 11 (lucky she'd been dozing on people while i ewas out) and she didn't wake up till 540 this morning which was pretty good.

Can i have some opinions - i want to know if i'm being over sensitive and should just get over it........ my inlaws are difficult about where we have christmas every year and won't budge on them doing lunch. if we can't make it (cause we want to spend some of them with my family) we get to go in the afternoon and see them but they won't even save dessert for us (offered to one year but we were 20 minutes late so they ate it and opened all the presents including the ones we'd bought them without us) which means my family who are more easy going usually get the raw end of the deal....... just a bit of background.. This year being Alyssa first we wanted to have both familys here to celebrate together. easier for us and we don't spend the day in and out of cars. they are refusing to come because there's too many people - there's 9 of my relatives and would be 6 of his making 18 with us. my mil lost her mum 3 days before alyssa was born and she says she's not ready for crowds. i'm just a little hurt that they don't want to share her first christmas and such a special time has to be all about her when to me christmas is all about being with family and especially the kids (alyssa is the only grandchild on both sides). they are going to come around but not till 4 or 5 and i don't want to feel like i should kick everyone else out just cause they show up. my grandparents have travelled down from grafton and it's a big trip for them when they're in their 80's and my uncle has come from brisbane so i don't want them to feel guilty about the inlaws not coming either...... such a mess!! but i guess christmas always is with familys (especially DH's)

anyway, must go and have a shower before she wakes up again. my best friend had a little boy yesterday so i'm going to try and get to the hospital today and visit Alyssas new boyfriend and still have to finish cleaning 9or as much as i can with a finger in a splint (not that i'm playing on it or anything ) so the house looks decent for chrissy.... thankyou for listening to my vent/whinge!!!

Enjoy your first christmas's everyone!!

[NaeNae]

hey everyone

MERRY CHRISTMAS

just a quicky -

Emma - familes are difficult aren't they. I can completely understand how you are feeling and also understand how your MIL feels. Last Christmas I was in no mood for celebrating etc after losing Nikita six months earlier and I was by no means ready for big social gatherings. You do not have to kick anyone out, if your PIL decide to come late maybe just explain (or not and just leave it) that maybe some people would have left by the time they get there but you cannot promise them that. Its so so hard when you are missing a family member at this time of year - even though we have Shae, I barely feel like celebrating because we are missing our first born and quite frankly Shae is a constant reminder of what we don't have and all we have missed out on.
I am sure it will work out, maybe don't say anything to MIL and just let the day pan out as its meant too

Just wanted to quickly share, I took a piccie of Shae infront of our first family christmas tree Login | Facebook she screamed just after I took it

love to all

Nae x x x

[~me~]

That's a tough one Emma. If you have family coming from alomg way it sounds reasonable espec with a new baby to stick around home on Xmas Day amd perhaps catchup with DH'S family on boxing day...especially since DH's family don't save any Christmas festivities for you anyway. (Hope that doesn't sound too harsh).

We now take it in turns..as in 1yr Bernies family for lunch and the next mine and don't usally do both in one day. Unless it's with my family and we will see DH's family for dinner as it tends to be a very speedy visit if we can (my family don't all get along together well).
In fact this year we are at my Sister's and last year we had them here. My Mum suggested DH & I don't come down for Christmas as my Sister who I and my other Sister dont get along with will be down at her house for Christmas. I am the youngest of 6 and not many of us get along really.
I took a hard line a couple of years ago and we both decided to do what suits us..everyone is fine with it and understands as we all have kids and that's what Christmas is all about these days.

Perhaps Emma you could do something similar...as in take it in turns where lunch is? It sounds like your DH's family is not very easy going??

Good luck Emma!

Nae: Your words sound very sad ...hope you and your DH have a lovely first Christmas with Shae and make some beautiful memories for the years to come. I couldn't view your pic of Shae..she looks sooo cheeky on your ticker

bye for now..Miss Tess is calling

x Heather

[NaeNae]

Nae: Your words sound very sad ...hope you and your DH have a lovely first Christmas with Shae and make some beautiful memories for the years to come. I couldn't view your pic of Shae..she looks sooo cheeky on your ticker

becoming a mum after a loss has been pretty hard emotionally, lots of things come to the surface plus its a difficult time of year and people (family) seem to forget about Nikita or expect that because we have Shae that we are no longer saddened by her passing.Its a wonderful christmas because its our first as a real family but its difficult as well because I miss Nikita.

Caught between a happy and sad place it will get easier with time

[GoingtobebiginAsia]

Oh Nae - my heart goes out to you. I can imagine it would be hard. Family gatherings are always difficult when someone is missing. Rather than having forgotten her, maybe your friends and family are not mentioning Nikita because they don't want to upset you. Since reading your post I've been thinking about one lovely post you wrote about your little wombat. I hope you can make your way through the next few weeks without too much pain.

Emma - It's a difficult one. I think for your own peace of mind, just do what's best for you. Alyssa is going to pretty oblivious, so its still about you and your feelings. I've really been amazed at the range of reactions people have to a baby. I've always been quite disinterested in babies, although I made an effort to cluck over my sister's kids when they were younger. So I think a disinterested reaction to a baby is quite normal. I find my mum's ultra-eagerness a bit weird. She's had a cold for the last few days and so she hasn't held the baby. So she stands at the door with her arms open and a tragic look on her face and talks about how terrible it is to have had empy arms for days. What I'm trying to say is that you should try not to take it personally if grandparents are not centering their Christmas plans on the baby. Unless they're being complete cows about it, of course.

Oh, and I loved the Sanda photo with Alyssa. It's adorable.

Tecopa, I'm glad you've decided to stick with us. How's the lodgers going? I think we might open our house up when we get back to Vietnam as a kind of homestay. You've inspired me!

Hi Mel, looking forward to an update.

And Heatherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! I love reading your posts. We're suffering with the heat here on the Sunshine Coast too. That's one of the sleeping problems we have. Shutting the bedroom door turns the room into an oven so we leave the door open for the breeze and then get blasted with noise.

So... learner plate mum just got told today that the baby is supposed to be asleep for 16 hours out of ever 24. THAT's going to make life a bit easier (and less boring). We were both getting sick of "entertaining" Poppy, who just didn't seem to get the hang of hanging out on her own. I mentioned sleep patterns to the midwife today at the newborn clinic and she told me were we'd been going wrong. So Poppy's asleep now, wrapped up tightly. And the little miss will be doing a lot more sleeping from now on so DP and I can get on with doing other stuff. It sounds a bit mean, doesn't it. I just thought she'd fall asleep when she was tired.

So ... Merry Christmas everyone. I hope you all have a fun day with the new "toy".