My baby cries everytime I put him down!

[first_time_mummy]

Hey there.
My baby, william, is 5 months next week, and he used to be great. He would play happily on his playmat, he would sleep well during the night and only wake once for a feed. He would sleep from 9pm til 2am, wake for a feed, then sleep throught il 7am. He was so good, until he hit 4 months. Now he is a little menace :P

He cries and cries until I pick him up, but as soon as I put him down again, he will scream the house down. Many people said I have spoilt him, but I really dont understand how, as ive never been the one to run to him and pick him up, as soon as he makes a noise.

He will cry and cry all day long unless i hold him constantly, and at his age, I thought he would be getting a lot better. Things just seem to be getting harder.

He has also fallen into a terrible sleep routine. He now wakes 3-4 times a night, and wont go back asleep until I give him a bottle. He wont settle for a dummy, or some music, its just cry cry cry, til I eventually have to give him another bottle. He goes to bed at 9pm, and wakes at 1am, then 3am, then 5am...Its very tyring on us, as my husband gets up for work at 5.30am.

Doc said his teeth are there,but not cutting yet, so it shouldnt be that hes teething thats upsetting him...and she ruled out any sickness or illnesses...

I just dont know what to do. I thought things would start to get a little easier by 5 months, but its just getting harder. Cause he refuses to sleep well, and he screams and cries non stop all day, unless I hold him constantly.

Please help!! Save my sanity

[Arimeh]

Just because his teeth haven't cut through, doesn't mean they aren't bothering him - I'm surprised a doc said that because they do bother them by moving around in the gums!

It could be the start of teething, or he could be going through a developmental stage, or a growth spurt (hence the extra feeds) or could just want to be with his mummy. Do you have a sling? If we have days like that, I sling the kids so they are next to me and they stop crying I dunno about you but I can't stand to hear my babies cry - frustrates the crap outta me.. lol

I currently have my nearly 4 month old strapped to me because she was grizzly earlier - and whaddya know - she fell asleep

[~Trish~]

First of all, big hugs . I just wanted to let you know that your little man sounds completely normal. When babies reach 4 months of age a lot of them regress with their sleep (Google "4 month sleep regression" and you will see you're not alone ). All of my babies have gone backwards with their sleep at this age. The good news is that it does pass! DD is nearly 7 months old and is sleeping pretty well again. Our paediatric chiro explained that babies sleep cycles change at this age and they wake up more often.

My DS2 was a happy bub until he hit 4 months of age, then he changed into a cranky bub who wanted to be held constantly. I heard a lot of "It's your fault for picking him up so often" , but it was just a developmental thing. He needed to be near me at all times to feel happy and secure. I just rode it out until he was happy to be a bit more independent from me (this happened as he got better at moving around by himself).

So I just wanted to say that you have done nothing wrong. It upsets me that us mums get blamed for things that we have no control over . Just because we want to respond to our upset babies doesn't make us bad people!! Please don't let yourself feel guilty when you pick your bub up, you are doing exactly the right thing - meeting his needs .

It does get better again, I promise .

[first_time_mummy]

aww. thanks for the comforting.
I feel like ive spoilt him, and now hes a little brat. Im scared hes learnt that he can cry during the night and will always get a bottle. scared hes fallen into bad habits.

During the day,I try to keep him close to me. even sit him in his playchair in the kitchen with me, while i do dishes, etc. But still he cries and screams, He just wont stop unless im physically holding/touching him. Makes it very hard to amintain the house and be a good mum

I would love to carry him in a sling with me, however I have a bad back and his ever growing weight would kill me lol

[~Trish~]

Yep, my DS2 was exactly the same. It was so tiring when they just want to be held all day. You haven't done anything to cause it, I promise! I parented all three of my babies the same way and DS2 was the only super-clingy one

Go and get yourself an Ergo baby carrier! It was my life saver for DS2 (and I wear it to bits now with DD). I have bad back and the Ergo puts baby's weight on your hips/waist so it doesn't hurt your back .

[Stevie]

I was actually thinking of you the other Day first_time_mummy, hadnt seen you around in a very very long time and was wondering if everything was ok?

like CL said, just coz the teeth arent there doesnt mean they arent causing problems i found with my DD (and im sure its the same for most babies) that the period BEFORE the tooth breaking the skin was actually the worst part, within a couple of days of it cutting the skin my DD slowly went back to the happy lil chappy she always was. My DD cut her first tooth at 3 months and her second just before 4 months (i couldnt believe it either lol)
Try cold teething rings? i even used to sit there with a wet washer and let her chew on my finger, she liked this more than a teething ring. i only used a small amount of teething gel alot of people are against it, but i only used it when she become unbearable, and also she was very younge and felt super bad for using teething gel at such a younge age,
the only other thing i can suggest, (and it might sound horrible to some) but maybe he's ready to start trying him on solids? start with rice cereal or something first of course, but maybe he's just looking for something more? and he's still hungry? i dont know, its just a suggestion?

i hope he settles down for you soon xx

[~Kim~]

I agree with Trish, totally normal.
Your little guy will only be little for such a short time in your career as a mummy. It's only natural for him to want to be nestled and nurtured. He's still a tiny baby. He's not bad or a brat. Separation anxiety is a real thing.
I too can't speak highly enough of slings. There are hundreds of different ones for every body type and affliction.

[Emma1979]

just wanted to say at trying times such as these try to turn a blind eye to anything that doesn't have to be done.... housework, obligations etc.... just do the bare minimum.... it is just a phase and will soon run its course i am sure.... i had a baby like that from birth with my first born and it was hard work, she turned into a delightful toddler.... i wished i had of taken her to a chiro/osteopath for her neck which i now believe was causing her great pain, but since your little one has been okay since birth but is now becoming distressed, i don't think it would be that sort of thing... just try to get thru it the best you can, and if it means curling up on the couch nursing him while you also doze, then do it.... you will never get time again to do that sort of thing, as the next baby you have (if you have another) you will have an older child to run after, so revel in the luxury of being able to put your feet up with him and ignore the things that don't have to be done....
good luck xxx i'm sure i will be there in a few months, my little one is 2 months and doesn't sleep during the day, the evenings are my sane time, hoping it stays that way!!

[Rumpleteaser]

When my DS had an earache he would wake everytime we tried to lie him down. Though if the Dr has checked your baby out, the Dr would have checked ears.

[sloane]

i just wanted to second (or third or fourth ) that it's not unusual at that age - DS went through a phase where i had to hold him for all naps & lots during the day. then he just grew out of it - i didn't even really notice when it stopped.

tbh, we're still having the night issues but i figure my little man still hasn't been in the world for as long as i was PG & there's no hurry.

i don't think you've spoilt your baby at all - showing that you'll respond to his needs & be there for him isn't spoiling imo, it's demonstrating love