DTD still hurts after nearly 12 months!

[nellnell]

I'm getting worried that I won't ever be able to dtd without it hurting. I had stitches for a second degree tear after a fairly 'easy' birth and doc suggested dtd within 8wks to ensure the scar tissue didn't become too hard and stayed elastic.......but we didn't dtd until about 18wks and I'm now kicking myself. Each time we dtd my scar stretches a little and it's tender along the edge for at least 2 days after dtd. I don't enjoy dtd because I'm always a little hesitant as i'm scared of hurting myself. Has anyone else experienced this and been able to overcome it?

[AnyDream]

It took longer than 12 mths for my scar to stop hurting completely, I was still having twinges around 18 mths. Having said that, I had dreadful drs for the first 6 mths who wouldn't acknowledge the problem. It was a pretty messy tear not helped by the dr's creative needlework afterwards. One thing that really helped was some vaginal oestrogen, that I took after the 6 month mark, it helped the tissues generally to be softer and in better condition (I was BFing and that keeps your oestrogen levels low). Ask your Dr about this and if you're not happy with their response, ask for a referral to a gynaecologist, who will take it seriously and help you. It shouldn't still be hurting!!

[Antheia]

My DS is nearly 20 months old and mine is still a little tender if we're not careful. Maybe try some perineal massage to help loosen and stretch the skin?

[Jaycee]

I can definitely relate to that... 5 1/2 months on it still hurts really bad and I'm scared of dtd.

I guess all the advice i can offer is to try and relax and use lots of lubrication... if only i took my own advice and relaxed!!

Hope it gets better soon cause it's not a nice situation to be in
xxx

[alioops]

Make sure your pelvic floor is relaxed, that will reduce the stress on your perineium and allow it some more room, also use TONNES of lube, and take is very slow

[nellnell]

Thanks everyone. I know the whole - just relax - thing but it's so easy to so and not so easy to do. We are thinking about TTC#2 soonish and hoping that I'm actually able to enjoy dtd. It's a bit of a crazy circle, in that I know the more we dtd the better it will get but kind of avoid dtd to protect myself.

This whole thing has me thinking that it dtd is painful, what is it going to be like giving birth again? I suppose the 'feel good' natural drugs kick is as they did the first time. I didn't even feel myself tear the first time, so I assume it will be similar the second time round - it's just the brain that I'll need to override - so hard to do.

I'm heading to the doc next week for the general checkup, pap etc so will check with him about options.