Thanks for all the responses everyone!

It's just really been getting me down lately, every time i feel like i need to go to the toilet i dread it..

I've tried making the stools as soft as possible (hence the copious amounts of metamucil), but even that isn't perfect (although a lot more bearable), but if i ever go a few days without and it goes even slightly more normal it hurts like all hell! I didn't realise just going to the toilet could hurt so much... and its been 6 months of it, thats the bad part

I try and wait until the last possible moment, so i don't have to push either (sorry, its really gross i know!), and then i don't strain.. if i eve have to strain and push, the pain is so bad!

I'm going to just see what surgery involves, but if it means being incontinent later in life, i think i would rather the pain.. i mean wetting yourself is one thing, but that would be just disgusting!

Kelly, how long did it take yours to clear up? Did u try the gel also??

I wonder if it is the way i pushed, or it could be i was terribly consipated after birth and had to beg them for 5 days for suppositories.. maybe i left it to long?? I don't know, but i just want it over with!

Anyhoo.... gosh i never knew there were all these wonderful things about having children.. probably a good thing they don't tell people beforehand or they would never go through with it (but then i look at DA and think its all worth it)

Yael