Hey all,

Will just post what I did in the Jan Baby Buddies thread

Well, I just got back from the surgeon...

He doesn't think surgery is the best option fo me... also apparently bf keeps these things around longer due to the hormones, so i might just have to wait until i finish (althoguh he said i should keep bf as long as possible, so i was very impressed with that)... Although I'm planning on basically just having a cycle of bf-preg-bf-preg kinda thing. He wasn't sure 100% what caused it, although it might have been from the pushing in labour, but he did say it wasn't a given that i would end up with one again once i have another baby..

So, my options... must have metamucil at least once a day. Can either try the gel agai (which gives VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY bad headaches - sorry did i say how bad they were??? never had anything this bad in my life.. i just sat there with an icepack on my head for 1 hr crying from the pain... and need somebody else to be around to look after DA)..

Or, there is some indication that a botox injection there might stop the muscle spasming enough to let it heal... but, it isn't a guarantee, and most health funds wont cover it, so although his and the anesthetist fee will be covered, i might still be $500 out of pocket for the actual botox.. They are trying to find out from my health fund whether they will cover me, and also my inlaws are pharmacists, so they are trying to find out how much they can get it for...

But, i'm not sure what to do..

I hate living this way, and can't use the cream again, but its a lot of money (and ther are risks with any surgery), for something that might not work...

DH thinks i should do it, even for $500, but he hates seeing my in pain

I saw the pain isn't so bad that it is going to kill me or anything, its just horrible each time i go... I don't know what to do, whether just go with the metamucil and see how things go or what??

what would you guys do if you were in my position??? We have the money, but it was our savings for things around the house... i just feel guilty using the money just for something that isn't going to benefit anyone but me!

Oh, and now i feel like i have none of my diginity left... This was the only place in my body i haven't had proded and poked, and now thats gone.. But the guy was very nice and did it in a respectful way, but it was still horrible...

Gosh i hate my body some times, eczma everyone, breastfeeding issues and now this! And i have a prolapse, but i'm just ignoring that for the moment until i focus on making my bum feel better...

But i'm def. not stopping bf any earlier, after all the pain and problems i went through to get to this stage! And i would rather be in pain than to stop DA getting what he needs.

Anyway, must go, any suggestions on what you would do in my situation would be greatly appreciated! (i'll still make up my own mind, i just want to get some other perspectives on the problem)

Yael