Kellxx - I know exactly what you mean. I actually have still been traumatised by my 1st birth right up until about 2 months ago. Giving birth the 2nd time and having a positive experience was the start of my emotional healing, and I have since been able to go through and deal with the birth. I even got a copy of my hospital notes as I had alot of unanswered questions after going into shock and not being able to remember the first 2 hours of my sons life.

This was in no way related to my Obs or even the midwifes, just something I needed to do in order to come to terms with the way things happened and also to understand why it had such an impact on my post natally.

I do remember that when I had AF it was certainly worse - my obs told me it was the blood loss that caused alot of the aching and that made sense with AF. At night I think it is worse cause you have ususally been on your feet all day, so it has a cumulative effect iykwim.

Anyway, sorry to ramble, just wanted to let you know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel!