I was the same after DS 1 we tried a couple of times and it was excrutiating! After having Silver Nitrate applied to some Proud tissue at 3months post baby from the healing and 7 months after giving birth we successful DTD.

I was so scared of the pain and damage that had been done by the forceps that everytime my DH wanted some I got panicky!

Eventually we just took it really really slowly and stacks and I mean stacks of KY was the only thing that helped. Eventually I gained confidence that it wasn't going to hurt - but it also took me a while for me to trust that my DH would listen to me when I asked him to stop or change etc.

Having said that though - don't despair! After having No 2 I was "back on the wagon" so to speak within 8 weeks and things are absolutely better than ever! And I mean way better than ever!